Hello, new and have a quick question.

[Vandera]

Hello, I’m new here. I’ve known since I was a teenager that I wasn’t attracted to people physically or interested in physical relationships. It wasn’t until about two years ago that I first came across the term asexual.

For the past two years, I’ve internally debated about whether or not that could be me. I told myself that it didn’t matter, but it just kept coming back. This week I decided to just start reading about it. I figured that worst case, it wouldn’t describe me. Well, it did. It felt like I was reading about myself.

Oddly enough, I first came across the term while reading fan fiction. I also write some fanfics and ship some characters. The characters I ship are not asexual, so I don’t write them as asexual.

Could I still be asexual if I write about characters that are in a romantic, sexual relationship?

I know the characters are not me, and I’m not interested in that kind of relationship for me. I just worry that if I tell people I’m asexual, they’re going to take what I write and throw it back at me as a reason why I can’t be asexual.

[FaerieFate]

You can be asexual and write sexual fanfics all you want. For more information, please reference this post.

 

 

Also just read over that whole thread, the whole thing is a good resource if you're still questioning.

[asingularbraincell]

Hey friend, welcome! It's a tradition here to welcome newcomers with cake!!

Here are some Harry Potter themed cake pops to celebrate your bravery!! It's perfectly fine to be asexual and still write characters having sexual relationships. Like you said, it's not you. It doesn't invalidate straight people's identity just because they know that gay and trans people may have different preferences than their own, just as it doesn't invalidate your asexuality simply because you understand how sex works. 

 

When writing, the characters really write themselves, as an author it's just your job to do them justice, and that's what it sounds like you've been doing!! Unfortunately, intolerant people do exist, and sometimes nothing you say will ever truly make them understand, because they don't want to. People will say what they want, and it's up to you whether or not you allow it to get to you. I know, it's hard, especially since many asexual people constantly question whether they really are ace or if they just "haven't found the right person, yet" like so many people claim. But I believe in you!! Be unapologetically you! Remember, you don't owe anybody an explanation for the way you feel ❤️

 

If you ever want to chat, my messages are always open 😃 

Best of luck!!!

[Vandera]

Thank you both so much. That makes me feel better.

[NickyTannock]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

What someone writes about and what they want for themselves are generally unrelated.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Vanda" cake (all edible),

http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/198967-vanda

[Lichley]

Welcome! If ya wanna ship then ya wanna ship. It doesn’t change a gay person’s orientation to write about straight ships, so why would it be any different for someone who’s ace?  

[Fraggle Underdark]

Welcome!

Yeah people write all sorts of things that they're not interested in doing themselves. Otherwise we'd have to lock up every author who wrote a nasty villain!

 

Here's an edible Pangolin cake

[AnneAce]

Just to confirm yes you can write about sexual and romantic relationships and still be asexual. Nothing you do negates your sexuality. Sexuality is about attraction not action. I also write fanfiction, but I haven't headcannoned anyone as ace. If someone tries to use this to challenge you I would remind them that sexual and romantic relationships are part of the main culture that you grew up and while you don't understand it for yourself you aware of it and you are writing the characters the way that they are presented in their media. Good luck, and here is cake for you. 🍰