ace but trying to figure out if i’m also aro for reasons disclosed

[kenzz]

I figured out i’m ace after my theater professor assigned me a character she felt i could connect with- a character who happened to be ace. i’ve never had sexual attraction to someone, although i have participated in sexual behaviors with myself and also with someone else (a past boyfriend), which brought me here, where i figured out that i’m ace. 

 

but now i’m questioning if i’m really biromantic or aromantic. my first and only boyfriend was someone people had pushed me to be with for two years until we dated, and i don’t know if what i felt was infatuation with him/the idea of being with him or genuine romantic attraction bc it was really intense, and it definitely could be either. i can’t figure it out though. i’ve never really had a crush that i know of; not even in elementary school or middle school. 

 

im not trying to invalidate aromantics or trivialize/cause any harm relating to their romantic identity;  i’m just trying to figure myself out and if anyone could offer some advice or relate their own experiences with being aro, it would be greatly appreciated

[Internetlionboy]

I just want to let you know that platonic attraction can be as intense as romantic attraction so that's also a possibility! I think my little blurb could help you on what lead me to finally use aro for myself or maybe not who knows. While I love dating and everything about romance, I never really saw any of my partners differently like how most people that aren't on the aromantic spectrum describe dating their significant others. I just saw them as best friends and I didn't even know that there was a difference between romantic and platonic, I just thought they go hand in hand and I liked being affectionate with them so I thought that meant I was alloromantic. I only felt platonic attraction to all of them including my current bf.

 

Honestly I'm not sure what kind of advice I could give you but you can definitely try out aro for yourself just to see how it feels! I wish you luck ;v;

[kenzz]

thank you so much!! :))) 

[Internetlionboy]

Oh geez I didn't even realize you just joined ghsjfdsh! It's a tradition to welcome new members with cake 🍰

[NickyTannock]

I've moved this thread from "Questions about Asexuality" to "Romantic and Aromantic Orientations".
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

[NickyTannock]

@kenzz Welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be Aromantic since you're having trouble figuring out if it was Platonic Attraction or Romantic Attraction.

I define Romantic Attraction as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone, and I define Platonic Attraction as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone, but I don't know what a romantic relationship is.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Garden Romance" cake,

http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/91637-garden-romance

[kenzz]

Thank you all so much! for the advice, and the cake :D)

[NickyTannock]

You're welcome!