Drunk&Confused Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 Hey Y'all, Sure y'all are sick of these, but another hella confused person here. Excuse the language, but its just me. So, I am in my 20s and recently figured out that theres prob something not exactly norm (not a that thats a bad thing) w/ me. I always kinda just figured I was like a late bloomer and that some kind of sexual puberty round two was gonna hit me eventually. I could look at guys (im a girl fyi), and be like ya that dude is attractive or nah, but like that was about it. I just kinda figured the movies and friends were exaggerating their attraction to people. I do however get horny (especially when drunk or clubbing), and sometime I do want, idk if its sex or something, but I want something. I am not a virgin, got sick of waiting so had a string of unsatisfying one night stands. I wasnt really a big fan of em, but I just kinda figured maybe I needed like a deeper connection or some shit. The thing is, I have never had a crush on someone that I can remember and I don't really fantasize about myself or anyone. I'm chill with talking about friends sex lifes and all that, sex doesnt gross me out or anything. I would like a deeper relationship I think, however, I dont want to be with anyone specific, and never really have lol. It prob took me wayyyy to long to start questioning this, but alas I'm busy, and (this sounds bad) but I didnt think asexuality was like actually a real thing, guess the jokes on me lol. I know the whole, 'only you can define your sexuality shit', dont worry, for the most part Im decently secure in myself. Y'all, if your feeling like responding, just lmk if any of this resonates w/ ya! Thanks fam - Another confused person who just recently learned that asexuality was like a thing. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Drunk&Confused Posted October 16, 2019 Author Share Posted October 16, 2019 (edited) Edited October 16, 2019 by Drunk&Confused how do i delete this unneeded accidental post??? lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 Hi @Drunk&Confused! 17 minutes ago, Drunk&Confused said: I just kinda figured the movies and friends were exaggerating their attraction to people. ^ This definitely resonates with me. 17 minutes ago, Drunk&Confused said: I do however get horny (especially when drunk or clubbing), and sometime I do want, idk if its sex or something, but I want something. ^ And this resonates me. I've definitely had that feeling in sexually charged situations of wanting something but having no idea what. I consider myself gray asexual. Also, welcome to AVEN! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 There's really no question there, so welcome to AVEN, I guess! Feels like you stole my actual way of talking and spat it out on the computer (I'm more formal online for the most part) will all the "y'all"s and "hella". Mixing regional dialects like it ain't no thing. On AVEN we greet people with cake because cake is better than sex! So have some cake and I hope you get your questions about asexuality answered! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Drunk&Confused Posted October 16, 2019 Author Share Posted October 16, 2019 5 minutes ago, SithGirl said: There's really no question there, so welcome to AVEN, I guess! Feels like you stole my actual way of talking and spat it out on the computer (I'm more formal online for the most part) will all the "y'all"s and "hella". Mixing regional dialects like it ain't no thing. On AVEN we greet people with cake because cake is better than sex! So have some cake and I hope you get your questions about asexuality answered! Thanks! Haha we dialect buddies now! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Drunk&Confused Posted October 16, 2019 Author Share Posted October 16, 2019 8 minutes ago, Mackenzie Holiday said: Hi @Drunk&Confused! ^ This definitely resonates with me. ^ And this resonates me. I've definitely had that feeling in sexually charged situations of wanting something but having no idea what. I consider myself gray asexual. Also, welcome to AVEN! Thanks for sharing! Glads others feel the same! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rkod75 Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 Things can feel a bit confusing when you have a libido but you also notice you don't quite have the same desire that other people have. Finding labels to describe ourselves can help us feel like we've found an answer, but they can also do the exact opposite since we tend not to fit perfectly into a single label. I think what's important in looking into labels to describe ourselves is that they should fit us, rather than us fitting them. When we try to fit ourselves into labels, that is when we really create self induced confusion. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyace Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 A lot of the experience that you described is very common among asexuals. Feeling like you're a late bloomer and there will be some sexual awakening, or that everyone else are exaggerating are common asexual experiences. There are asexuals who have a libido and asexuals who don't. Whether or not you get horny is not the defining feature of asexuality, whether or not you ever look ata person and go "yeah, that's the one I want to have sex with," is the factor that determines whether or not you are asexual. So what I'm saying is that it sounds to me like you're probably on the asexual spectrum at the very least. On top of that, you mentioned never having crushes or having a specific person in mind for a "deeper relationship" which are pretty common aromantic experiences as well. I hate to add more to think about, but that may be something to consider as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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