Help me to confirm that, I am an Asexual!

[RavenQueen]

Hello everyone, I know that I have labeled myself asexual, but I feel like I need a second opinion about it.

I have started questioning my sexuality for many reasons:

- I was engaged and in relationships since I was 21, yet, I found it boring when someone brings the sexual talk to the table, I only wanted the emotional attachment.

- I sometimes might feel attracted to aesthetically interest in a person, but one it gets physical, I get bored.

- I the butterflies in the stomach for real human, all the guys I liked was because they reminded me of a celebrity, had a heroic qualities or charisma, or those who likes reading

-  I have experienced sexual dreams and I enjoy love scenes in movies or literature that had a romantic context.

- When I be in a relationship, I only enjoy cuddling or kissing (I even fantasies about celebrities during this), but never further.

- If I fantasies or even was in an intimate position, I only see it from the 3rd person's point of view.

- I can never be in the mood for any intimacy without thinking that "It is happening to me now" or have the voices in my mind narrating it.

- I used to think that when I fall in love, I will be attracted sexually, but it was to please the other person.

- Since I was little, all fictional attracted me, but never real people, I am always in love with a fictional character or having a celebrity crush.

 

P.S. I am 32, I have depression and anxiety, but the above started in my teenage years-before my depression with 5 years.

Please help me to confirm it to myself.

 

 

Edited October 15, 2019 by RavenQueen

[NickyTannock]

@RavenQueen Welcome to AVEN!

 

That sounds Asexual to me.

Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone (this is different from arousal, which doesn't always lead to desiring sex).

And you haven't said anything about being attracted to have sex with someone.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome now members by offering cake, and here's a "Raven Queen" cake (all edible, though I don't think it's Teen Titans Raven?),

http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/248626-raven-queen-cake-cake-con-collaboration

[Snao Cone]

I'm on mobile so it is a hassle for me to quote multiple parts of your post, but I can say that as an asexual person I have had similar experiences. Impersonal fantasies, aesthetic interest that gets boring when it turns physical, and narration in my head while it's going on are three of the big ones that I should've taken as early hints of it - but just like you, it didn't really sink in until I was in my early 30s. 

 

Oh, and I've also had depression and anxiety that I blamed for my lack of interest in going through with sex, but I can wholeheartedly say that was not the case for me.

[RavenQueen]

12 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said:

@RavenQueen Welcome to AVEN!

 

That sounds Asexual to me.

Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone (this is different from arousal, which doesn't always lead to desiring sex).

And you haven't said anything about being attracted to have sex with someone.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome now members by offering cake, and here's a "Raven Queen" cake (all edible, though I don't think it's Teen Titans Raven?),

http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/248626-raven-queen-cake-cake-con-collaboration

I understand that asexuality is different from libido,  I have never found a real human attractive, even when I felt one, it was because he reminded me of Vikings worriers-fictional again.

 

I love this Raven Queen with cake, mine is a fan art for DC's Raven; I love her character and powers, also, the purple hair. 

 

 

[RavenQueen]

10 minutes ago, Snao van der Cone said:

I'm on mobile so it is a hassle for me to quote multiple parts of your post, but I can say that as an asexual person I have had similar experiences. Impersonal fantasies, aesthetic interest that gets boring when it turns physical, and narration in my head while it's going on are three of the big ones that I should've taken as early hints of it - but just like you, it didn't really sink in until I was in my early 30s. 

 

Oh, and I've also had depression and anxiety that I blamed for my lack of interest in going through with sex, but I can wholeheartedly say that was not the case for me.

It's alright, thank you for replying.

I remember that my real situations was always from the 3rd person. Moreover, the only attraction I for a guy was because I liked his perfume, I built fantasies, but later felt that it is the smell and stories I am plotting around. 

 

It is not depression or anxiety, but there are far more interesting topics in life more than sex.

[Tyke]

18 minutes ago, RavenQueen said:

but there are far more interesting topics in life more than sex.

I think a lot of sexual people would disagree with this. And this by itself is enough to suggest asexual might be the best description of your orientation.

 

So much more of what you write also suggests that. So I'd say you are definitely on the right track when you label yourself asexual.

[RavenQueen]

2 minutes ago, Midland Tyke said:

I think a lot of sexual people would disagree with this. And this by itself is enough to suggest asexual might be the best description of your orientation.

 

So much more of what you write also suggests that. So I'd say you are definitely on the right track when you label yourself asexual.

 

It is boring to limit life to one topic; I remember being bored with one of my EXs, who kept pulling the conversation towards sex, while I would rather if he created a plot and wrote to me about it; I never felt that direct speech about sex. 

 

Thank you so much! I used to feel that I am far from normal, but the pattern has been repeated over and over with me.