Clueless!!! Posted October 15, 2019 Share Posted October 15, 2019 (edited) I don't know if I'm an asexual or not. It's really confusing...i mean I'm 20 and I've never had any crush, never been attracted to anyone...am as virgin as one can be, never even let someone touch myself! But I do get aroused...sometimes I find myself having weird sexual fantasies but tbh I have never imagined anyone in my fantasies...that just seems dirty! But I do have fantasies...sometimes about people whose faces I don't see nor do I want to...most of the times I fantasy about people indulging in sexual activity (people whose faces I don't see, but I give em kinda their character) and these people don't include me mostly! I've a history of trauma (I think I'm doing good about coping with that stuff...I'm becoming more understanding and I think my trauma is losing it's affects on my) so sometimes I wonder if I'm hyper sexual but asexual too! For people who don't know what hyper sexuality is...it's a behaviour (or disorder) where you get unwanted and excess sexual urges. When I feel like that...I'd get lost in sexual fantasies (which ain't even appropriate) that I explained above...or touch myself or some porn! After that I feel extremely confused! If you have any idea about what I feel, please do lemme know. Thank you for reading Edited October 15, 2019 by Clueless!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted October 15, 2019 Share Posted October 15, 2019 Hi @Clueless!!!, welcome to AVEN! Only you can decide if the label of asexual fits your experiences. But more importantly, regardless of how you choose to describe your experience and orientation, it's okay to be feeling what you're feeling. Sexual and asexual people experience desire and fantasies in countless ways, and there's no right or wrong way to feel it. Figuring ourselves out can be confusing, but you will find the answers you're looking for. If not here, then somewhere else. There's a lot of information here on both sexuals' and asexuals' experiences, so this is a good place to look for answers. So, relax, keep reading, ask us any questions you may have, and remember that it's okay to be you. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted October 15, 2019 Share Posted October 15, 2019 Welcome to AVEN! You could be an Aromantic Asexual. Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone (this is different from arousal, which doesn't always lead to desiring sex with someone). Meaning an Asexual could experience arousal, and have fantasies, but won't feel the pull to have sex with someone. Likewise, Aromanticism is a lack of Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone (I still don't know what a romantic relationship is, I'm Aromantic). For a more specific label, though, Autochorissexual would probably fit, http://asexuals.wikia.com/wiki/Autochorissexual I also have trauma in my past that made me doubt my Asexuality even today, but I've found that doubt always goes away when I ask myself if I'm ever attracted to have sex with someone because the answer is a resounding no. I hope I helped. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Clue Game Cake (all edible), http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/21127-clue-game-board-cake 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Memento1 Posted October 15, 2019 Share Posted October 15, 2019 Having sexual arousal isn't exactly the same as having sexual desire. Over half of asexuals masturbate or have sexual fantasies (if you have access to academia, there's a great study by Yule, Brotto, and Gorzalka, "Sexual fantasy and masturbation among asexual individuals"), so it's not unusual at all to have a libido but not want to have sex with anyone. It seems a strange contradiction, but I've become comfortable with it over time. I'm personally of the belief that whether you will ever feel like having sex with someone is beside the point. If you don't feel like having sex now, don't! Don't let anyone pressure you into it, don't feel like you need an excuse not to, don't feel like you're broken. It may change, it may not, and worrying about it not only doesn't help, it will keep you stuck. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marlow1 Posted October 15, 2019 Share Posted October 15, 2019 If you are definitely not seeing faces when you fantasize, and you are not deliberately avoiding seeing them you could have a mild form of progpagnosia. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/08/30/face-blind Some folk cannot see faces, some cannot recall them, some do not see them in dreams. There is plenty of information on the Internet regarding this so I will not warble. Everybody that I ever met that has had this condition said they fell under the Asexual Umberella. Not all were Asexual though, some were Greysexuals and/or Demisexual. Hope this is helpful 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clueless!!! Posted October 16, 2019 Author Share Posted October 16, 2019 Thank you all for helping me to know myself better 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 You're welcome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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