Could use some help here from someone a bit older?

[Zelda64]

Okay so I am a gay male who happens to be 18. I get extremely turned on when has his shirt off. I have a really big thing for abs i guess lol. This arousal can also get super strong I also get turned on by guys who have a really nice butt. Does this count as sexual attraction? I think it is but im not sure

My concern is that I do not feel anything when I attempt to masturbate. Like I can feel turned on by other guys but, do not touch myself because it does not do anything for me. When people talk about having pleasure from touching themselves, I have no idea what that feels like. The only sexual pleasure I do feel is when I see a guy who is extremely sexually attractive. I also do not get aroused when Imagine having sex with another person. When I am aroused by another guy, I get the urge to be physical with him but, the act of sex just feels taboo to me. Its like my body wants to have sex but, can't grasp with the concept if that makes sense. This is why Watching porn has never gotten me aroused and does nothing for me.

So I am just worried if that when I do finally have sex for the first time (I'm a virgin) is that I won't know what to do and how to make my body feel good, and if I can even feel that stimulation/pleasure everyone talks about. I know I am not asexual because I find guys sexually attractive but, I just do not feel pleasure from watching porn, masturbating, or picture having sex with someone else.

[Homer]

I guess that this boils down to "different strokes for different folks". If masturbation doesn't work for you, that's fine. If other things do, that's cool as well. All these things need to be figured out individually - things you like may not do anything for others and vice versa. That's perfectly normal and healthy and it's actually great that you're aware of your feelings. Try things if you want to, keep doing them if you like them. Don't try things you don't want to, don't keep doing these if you don't like them.

 

This actually doesn't only apply to sex and/or relationships. Looks like you're on the right track  

[FaerieFate]

This thread has been moved from Older Asexuals to The Grey Area, Sex, and Related Discussions

 

Faeriefate, Moderator

[Marlow1]

@Zelda64I cannot get any pleasure from touching myself, porn does nothing at all for me, I have never masturbated, not ever. 

 

I know with certainty that this is related to my Aphantasia

 

https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/kwkway/what-its-like-to-instantly-forget-what-friends-and-lovers-looks-like

 

I can however have a sexual relationship with my wife. She is the only person that I have been sexually attracted to. It took a very long time for us to get it together though. I identify as Demisexual

[Memento1]

I've gained a new outlook on sexuality by ditching the "script" of what sex is and just focusing on what I like.  If someone goes for the genitals but I'd rather just neck / have my chest stroked / squeeze his ass, I feel empowered to SAY SO.  The biggest turn off for me is feeling like I need to do what's expected, follow the script of sex, and be "normal".  You do you.