Have you ever wanted to not be attracted to someone?

[Guest iwanttolearn]

Hello hope you are doing well..

 

i dont know if i if I can identify as asexual because I do feel physically attracted to certain people.

 

but I NEVER want to do anything physical with them not even kissing.

 

its just I wish there is a way I can turn off my attraction to these people I don’t exactly like being physically attracted to them.

 

if I could stop being physically attracted to them, I can genuinely talk to them, approach them, communicate with them and form a good friendship with them..

[NickyTannock]

If you mean Arousal when you say physically attracted, then yes, you can identify as Asexual.

Arousal doesn't always lead to desiring sex with someone, so it is different from Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone.

There are also other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction.

There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship (I still don't know what that is, I'm Aromantic).

There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like cuddling.

There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty (you can't take your eyes off them).

There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone.

And more.

 

To your question, I'm not attracted to other people in any way, so in my case, it's a no.

[Skycaptain]

@iwanttolearn, not wanting to do anything physical is a perfect example of asexuality, so you're identity is fine. As @MichaelTannocksays there are many more ways to be attracted to people than sexuality. Also these platonic attractions help to form friendships. 

 

[Neutral Charge]

34 minutes ago, CBC said:

You can control your actions, but I know of no way to control your attraction. 

been living these words for a while now, its true x.x 

[Guest]

47 minutes ago, SkyenAutowegCaptain said:

@iwanttolearn, not wanting to do anything physical is a perfect example of asexuality, so you're identity is fine. As @MichaelTannocksays there are many more ways to be attracted to people than sexuality. Also these platonic attractions help to form friendships. 

 

However, if this person does experience SEXUAL attraction, then they are not asexual. Celibacy is always an option. Still you sound ace, especially if this attraction does not occur sexually lol.

[Chihiro]

41 minutes ago, KrysLost said:

However, if this person does experience SEXUAL attraction, then they are not asexual. Celibacy is always an option. Still you sound ace, especially if this attraction does not occur sexually lol.

^^This, regarding sexual attraction. But OP says 'physical attraction' which is sexual attraction based on *my* experience with sexual people (given no other explanation). When people talk about physical intimacy, they usually mean sexual.

 

Its common for people to not want to be attracted. There could be many reasons like being already in a relationship, being busy with life, not wanting to deal with the hassles of relationships, being sick, germophobia, wanting to know the person before pursuing them etc.

 

 

[KoiFishShoes]

I am long-term besotted with someone I can't actually ethically date, and some days, I really wish I could turn that off. As was mentioned above, you will be attracted to whomever you are attracted to, but you ultimately determine how you act on that attraction.

[Salmiakki]

On 10/10/2019 at 4:42 PM, CBC said:

You can control your actions

Haha... I wish I could

 

 

...

Actually, maybe that's it. I don't wish that I didn't have crushes. I just wish that I could control myself. I like the feelings, I like to be attracted to people, I like having crushes... I just wish that I could do it like a normal person. I wish that I didn't feel attraction to people cause it makes me so uncontrollable but really I don't wish that I didn't feel attraction, I just wish that it didn't control me and my life so much. So I could live... at least slightly more normally. 

 

Anyway... sorry to everyone who had to read that XD  

[Janus the Fox]

Wish I could turn on attractions and allow those to drive some sexual or romantic behaviour, it’s tough putting on an act for the benefit of a partner of near 3 years.

[œddy]

On 10/10/2019 at 3:30 PM, KrysLost said:

However, if this person does experience SEXUAL attraction, then they are not asexual. Celibacy is always an option. Still you sound ace, especially if this attraction does not occur sexually lol.

Yup, that's why i ended up identifying that way

[Firefly8]

No. I don't think there is any way to change one's attractions, but that said I don't have an issue with my aesthetic or sensual attractions. I don't have any other attractions as of yet to not want.

[Philip027]

I've never had the experience of "undesired" attractions.  I understand some others do, but it's a total enigma to me.

[Neutral Charge]

3 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

I've never had the experience of "undesired" attractions.  I understand some others do, but it's a total enigma to me.

i think this qualifies you as extremely lucky! i wish i could be like that, especially atm