sunbrella Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 I'm trying to move on from the ace girl I fell in love with, but it's so hard when I don't know if I'll ever fall in love again. No one irl understands that sentiment either because for them falling in love, well, it isn't easy, but it's not like finding water in a desert either. Arospecs, does anyone have any advice? How do you convince yourself to move on? How do you deal with the pain when things like "getting yourself out there/meeting other people" doesn't do anything (cause we're arospec)? t. demiromantic Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Being in a relationship isn't mandatory so if you don't like anyone it makes sense to not be in a relationship. Any given person may or may not ever "fall in love." Any given person may or may not play beach volleyball either. Link to post Share on other sites
sunbrella Posted October 9, 2019 Author Share Posted October 9, 2019 6 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said: Being in a relationship isn't mandatory so if you don't like anyone it makes sense to not be in a relationship. Any given person may or may not ever "fall in love." Any given person may or may not play beach volleyball either. I like being in love. I want to date. Also, I'm not quite sure you understand the question being posed. Link to post Share on other sites
Auld_Mulk Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Here's the thing @Galactic Turtle ... sharing a life with someone else can be very fulfilling. The struggles and the rewards are sweeter because you can say 'we did that together'. It bonds you two even more. The alternative tends to be less enjoyable. Also loneliness is a relentless predator, especially if you are use to sharing/living with someone else. True, relationships aren't for everyone. True loving relationships are indeed difficult to find. @sunbrella heartbreak takes time, friends and distraction (lots of). Busy yourself with a project that involves being social (introverts be aghast, I know). You might find someone during that project to 'distract' you. Does this work? ... still working on it personally. Good luck @sunbrella Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 7 hours ago, Auld_Mulk said: Here's the thing @Galactic Turtle ... sharing a life with someone else can be very fulfilling. The struggles and the rewards are sweeter because you can say 'we did that together'. It bonds you two even more. The alternative tends to be less enjoyable. Also loneliness is a relentless predator, especially if you are use to sharing/living with someone else. Sorry, I'm aro. XD 7 hours ago, sunbrella said: I like being in love. I want to date. Also, I'm not quite sure you understand the question being posed. Yeah, I missed that. I'm aro. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
DarkStormyKnight Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Hi! I'm gray-ro so I definitely relate to what you're feeling. Moving on is super hard and frustrating. I don't have a cure-all, but not isolating yourself and hanging out with friends that you feel good around is very important. Also distracting yourself in general, start a project or something to keep yourself busy. And remember to go suuuuper easy on yourself, this stuff takes time and everyone heals on their own schedule. Hope that helps! Feel free to reach out if you need to. ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 I'm... not sure how not moving on would be any good. You know you can't have that person, so why hang on to an illusion that (1) won't happen and (2) keeps your mind from looking for other people, no matter how likely actually finding someone is? I don't see the point tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
songchick Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Just busy yourself with other things in life. LIke maybe take on a new creative project even, maybe writing poetry or stories, learning guitar, finding penpals. I used the site Interpals when I was looking for German pen pals, found really awesome people on there from around the world! Just distract yourself and work on YOU. As time passes, there is more and more separation. It gets easier. Link to post Share on other sites
sunbrella Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 thanks @songchick and @DarkStormyKnight. I've been pouring a lot of my feelings into my work because I'm an art student and it's helped a lot. One thing that makes it harder is the fact that there's still a sliver of hope for the future but I'm trying to let go in the meantime. What happens, happens; all I can do is live in the present... Link to post Share on other sites
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