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What being a sex favorable asexual means to me


gray-a girl

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5 minutes ago, GlamRocker said:

It is funny in that you say "gatekeeping" the way people say "fascist" or "toxic." It's a meaningless negative buzz word meant only to shut someone up. 

Like, for instance, "invalidation" 

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3 hours ago, Mackenzie Holiday said:

And there's nothing wrong with you thinking of it that way yourself, but a lot of other people would still consider him gay, and hopefully no one will use his situation to tell him otherwise. He might seem straight to you and gay to others. Maybe he'd appreciate it if we left it up to him to decide which one suits his experience best.

Unfortunately, people will use this example to force gays to "choose" to have straight sex. I can already imagine a kid coming out as gay and parents forcing the kid to be with a woman because gays can have sex with women and live a hetero normal life with no repercussions. In the example you gave, if the man was forced to marry a woman, then he is gay otherwise he is bi or straight. Ignoring the fact that gays are forced to be with women due to stigma, religion etc doesn't do justice to their sufferings or cause.

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8 minutes ago, Chihiro said:

Unfortunately, people will use this example to force gays to "choose" to have straight sex. I can already imagine a kid coming out as gay and parents forcing the kid to be with a woman because gays can have sex with women and live a hetero normal life with no repercussions. In the example you gave, if the man was forced to marry a woman, then he is gay otherwise he is bi or straight. Ignoring the fact that gays are forced to be with women due to stigma, religion etc doesn't do justice to their sufferings or cause.

Yep it's a sad fact that for the vast majority of gay people, they cannot have a happy sexual relationship with members of the other sex. If it was that easy, no gay person would ever have been tortured or murdered and people like Alan Turing wouldn't have been chemically castrated by the frikken government as little as 60 years ago :c Because they could easily and happily choose to conform and wouldn't ever have to risk their lives, their happiness, and their sanity for their love. :c

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Mackenzie Holiday
9 minutes ago, Chihiro said:

Ignoring the fact that gays are forced to be with women due to stigma, religion etc doesn't do justice to their sufferings or cause.

I don't think that recognizing one person's experience is ignoring or erasing someone else's different experience. It is horrible when people are pressured or forced to make choices that are bad for them, and I don't think it's anyone's intention here to ignore or make light of the fact that people do try to force others into those situations or make those decisions.

 

I completely understand the importance of being able to effectively communicate what things are absolutely not an option for someone. But wouldn't it be better if we made this possible for people by working toward a world where people recognized that no to mean no, instead of a world where people only recognize asexual to mean no, or straight to mean no to everyone of the same sex, etc.?

 

If I'm missing your point, please let me know. I really am trying to understand where everyone is coming from here. :)

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