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Some Things For Fellow Questioning Aros


DoubleATripleA

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DoubleATripleA

So, I've made a few 'memes' that have helped me and thought could help you guys figure out your orientation. There are three links, which take you to my posts on the AroAce United Amino.

 

Attraction Scales: https://aminoapps.com/c/aroaceunited/page/blog/attraction-scales/lq4e_l6UQu8V0R4VJGEbqj3pW3zo35Vno

 

Attraction Scales 2: https://aminoapps.com/c/aroaceunited/page/blog/attraction-scales-2/4EKB_k7iYuboemwJ5bZbeLPKGE1KNZkqJr

 

TLDR - All you have to do is mark on the scale how often you experience 5 types of attraction: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual and alterous. The 2nd Attraction Scales further breaks it down into how often you experience these attractions between men and women. 

 

Romantic Checklist: https://aminoapps.com/c/aroaceunited/page/blog/romantic-checklist/xBZ0_vLf2ux13bPpQMJGvRZqaqnEPg3vzq

 

TLDR - you answer whether you'd either say yes, no, maybe or I don't know to 22 activities that are seen as 'romantic'.

 

Feel free to use these to help you, or not. I haven't done the Romantic Checklist one myself yet!

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letusdeleteouraccounts

I feel like romanticism is more about why you want to do certain things for a specific person or people rather than the actions themselves. With that, it could get a little weird in that aspect

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As a non-aromantic I feel you have an issue with your definition of romantic attraction. I am probably heteromantic, but I do not want a romantic relationship. Also, the term, "romantic things" is really vague. What do you mean by that? I would never do many of the things considered stereotypically romantic, but I could get romantic enjoyment other ways. One of the few romantic dreams I ever had was when I engaged in hours-long discussion of Marx. Not really romantic for most people but in the dream it felt romantic. So using your definition for romantic attraction I could count as aromantic, but I am not, I do feel romantic attraction.

 

I hope this constructive criticism helps.

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I like the last one the most.

It is a good idea but it mixes the sexuality with the romance.

So it won't work for people who are concerned by the dual attraction model.

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DoubleATripleA
7 hours ago, Aebt-Ætheling said:

As a non-aromantic I feel you have an issue with your definition of romantic attraction. I am probably heteromantic, but I do not want a romantic relationship. Also, the term, "romantic things" is really vague. What do you mean by that? I would never do many of the things considered stereotypically romantic, but I could get romantic enjoyment other ways. One of the few romantic dreams I ever had was when I engaged in hours-long discussion of Marx. Not really romantic for most people but in the dream it felt romantic. So using your definition for romantic attraction I could count as aromantic, but I am not, I do feel romantic attraction.

 

I hope this constructive criticism helps.

I did say that these are not like only romantic things, and it's not made to be 100% completely accurate, I think it's more of a questionnaire that talks about romance repulsion or aversion maybe. Thank you for the feedback. 

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I think the scoring needs to be clearer. Like on your "romantic checklist" it's not clear how you actually add it up, and on the attractions it's not really clear how one is meant to interpret the result. 

 

There's also a problem of subjectivity as another posted said. I don't, for example, find "a short temporary fling" very romantic. It's pretty much just sexual. Others might be different. 

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DarkStormyKnight

I don't know, I don't think the first two were super helpful mainly because I have no idea what the gradient means. How often is all the time? What would a 3/10 mean?

The last one is slightly more helpful, but there's no clear way to add it up, as pointed out earlier.

But hey, if it helped you maybe it's just not helpful to me at this point in time.

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