your pet hates for profiles on dating apps

[Iam9man]

30 minutes ago, Chihiro said:

What kind of stuff? I can't imagine pukable stuff being sent by mail.

...apart from maybe this?

 

8 hours ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

i mean 3 different guys offered her £100 for a pair of her worn panties

[Guest]

So 11 hours at work or stick me pants in the post instead of the laundry bin?-

 

Where do I sign up?

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

so this is a girl i have to deal with on dating apps every few weeks/months. i'll even provide a good example of the kinda stuff she does. so she messages me on badoo like "hey, you're an aspie, i'm an aspie too" so we talk for a bit. it's mainly a one sided conversation because she's trying to ask about me and tell me nothing about herself. some of the questions are starting to get a bit creepy like "so are there any places you frequent a lot" and i'm really uncomfortable with that and tell her so. she starts messaging me stuff like "oh dont worry seanybear (my name is sean) i just know you're the perfect man for me and one day we'll get married" at that point, she went from creepy to blocked. 2 hours later i get a message on pof saying "that wasn't very nice for you to block me like that" i reply basically saying that the marriage thing scares me and that i'm uncomfortable with how fast she wants to take things..... then block her again. an hour later, i get a message from her saying "please stop blocking me, it's not a game ya know" blocked again. this is why i really dislike POF. there is no way to block a user UNTIL they message you and they can just make a new account. i reported her but POF help team is useless (they wont even tell me why they dont have a seeking men and women option) after maybe the 8th block in 2 days, she gives up...... or so i thought. she super liked me on tinder and was trying to contact me there. same thing kept happening until she ran out of burner emails. then she found me on facebook. that was an instablock for her. 

 

every few months or so, she messages me after making a new account on POF or will superlike me on tinder or whatever sometimes she pretends like she did nothing wrong or she's someone else (she has a very recognizable look so she's easy to spot) it's become a force of habit to just block. here is a good example of her pretending she did nothing wrong from last year.
 

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

oh, and being bi-romantic, i also get creepy guys. so this is one guy who i had a mutual friend of. we went to a party together once and i kinda left as soon as people started having sex in front of me.... usually a good time to leave. so the guy from this party added me on facebook and started asking why i left. i just told him i wasnt comfortable watching 2 strangers having sex and we all watch like it's the old firm game. his reply befuddled me in saying "well you could have joined in" ok. i'm glad i left that party. he's kinda commenting on a lot of my facebook posts and it's making me uncomfortable. he also messages me every so often asking if i have any time off (i used to work 60+ hour weeks on night shift) i think i had a day off and i bump into the mutual friend. we're loading up my tiny car for band practice (i am a master of car tetris) and she says "oh davie has been asking about you. he really wants to hang out with you sometime soon" i'm just like "this is the first day off i've had in 3 weeks and i just want to practice with my band. plus he kinda creeps me out" now at this time, i was also in a relationship and engaged. i come home with my bandmates and he's outside my house. we have a car full of amps, guitars, pedals and other music related nicknacks and my renault's suspension is looking pretty sad. we're just trying to get all the stuff back in the house. he thinks this is a good time to ask why i'm avoiding him...... while i'm carrying a fender twin reverb (around 65 lbs) i tell him that i've genuinely been busy, i'm in a relationship and i'd rather focus on getting this anchor of an amp into the house. he walks away. that night i get a message on facebook from him saying "i'm going to kill myself because i cant have you" and ya know how when you're at that point with someone where you're just like maxed out on handling someone's shit. i just said "ok davie" and blocked him. every so often he super likes me on tinder as well as the aforementioned woman above. 

 

oh and trust me, i have also had some really bad tinder dates too.

[neverlove]

8 hours ago, Chihiro said:

Thats very much like my friends' reactions. Before obliging to my request. They might as well send me the hair since they can't donate anyway!

Well, I imagine they like you a lot, because I would not do this. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

so this is a girl i have to deal with on dating apps every few weeks/months. i'll even provide a good example of the kinda stuff she does. so she messages me on badoo like "hey, you're an aspie, i'm an aspie too" [snip]

Are they from Newcastle by any chance? If they are I’ve likely spoken to the same person.

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

52 minutes ago, JMSH said:

Are they from Newcastle by any chance? If they are I’ve likely spoken to the same person.

nope. outside glasgow.

[Chihiro]

@nutterwithasolderingiron  Wow that woman is really good at stalking! Sounds like something you see happening on sitcoms. I'm sorry I laughed, it must have been really annoying. I am glad I have never been on dating websites. I hope you can avoid crazy people like her and that dude in the future!

 

5 hours ago, JMSH said:

So 11 hours at work or stick me pants in the post instead of the laundry bin?-

 

Where do I sign up?

You remind me of someone I knew on this website 😮 I haven't seen them in a good while though.

 

2 hours ago, neverlove said:

Well, I imagine they like you a lot, because I would not do this. 

They have a good sense of humor Come to think of it, I have never come across anyone who has declined my hair-related requests.

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

1 hour ago, Chihiro said:

@nutterwithasolderingiron  Wow that woman is really good at stalking! Sounds like something you see happening on sitcoms. I'm sorry I laughed, it must have been really annoying. I am glad I have never been on dating websites. I hope you can avoid crazy people like her and that dude in the future!

 

i actually have a story that sounds even more like a sitcom thanks to online dating...... also there is only one crazy stalker i approve of. 

 

[Chihiro]

7 minutes ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

i actually have a story that sounds even more like a sitcom thanks to online dating...... also there is only one crazy stalker i approve of. 

More stories please

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

ok, gather round children and i'll tell you a story. once there was a brave young knight with an afro called sean. it was a different time where one could buy a large latte in starbucks for £2.65. he was browsing a dating app and noticed an old friend who used to live on his street. he knew this maiden used to have the fancy for him. after a while of talking, the maiden asked our brave hero if he would treat her for a coffee. the deed was to be done. (i'm actually having more fun writing this in a fairytail story than i should. i'll try doing the next story as a poem)

 

thus our brave night donned his best set of casual clothing to temp the fair maiden into cuddles and maybe more (i was still sexual at the time). he arrived bang on the dot of 2 o clock and sat with caffeinated beverage in hand waiting for the fair maiden. she arrived wearing the garments of a commoner with 2 children in tow. this was not something that normally bothered our curly haired hero so he soldiered on with the date. at one point, the maiden's mother arrived and sat with us. i was confused, was this not a date betwixt potential lovers to be? little did our hero know, he was in for a battle he could not have a chance of victory. only the humiliation would follow. 

 

the older maiden started making statements of a rather personal variety. such as
"oh my, havent you grown from the strapping young lad who used to mow my lawn"

"i remember watching you building that trampoline for us and watching you take off your shirt when it got too sweaty"

"do you still go to the gym? i was always surprised how much muscle you had for a skinny man"

 

i ask the younger maiden aside to ask what this was about. before i could get thy answer, the older maiden approached and said "well save some for me jem, even if there is enough for the 2 of us" then proceeded to squeeze thine buttocks and walk off. the younger maiden proclaimed confidently "well my mother always thought you had a crush on her when you used to repair stuff for us as a teenager and do odd jobs. when i told her you asked me out on a date, she wanted me to ask you if it would be ok to have a 3 way with the 2 of us. it's not weird for us. we've done it with other guys before." (there was more but it was way more disturbing than that and went into more detail) our brave hero knew at that point, this was a battle he had to flee from. and so, he retreated to his trusty steed (a 1995 mx5) and rode off to the barracks of his friend lauren..... to have a big old cry.

[neverlove]

31 minutes ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

ok, gather round children and i'll tell you a story. once there was a brave young knight with an afro called sean. it was a different time where one could buy a large latte in starbucks for £2.65. he was browsing a dating app and noticed an old friend who used to live on his street. he knew this maiden used to have the fancy for him. after a while of talking, the maiden asked our brave hero if he would treat her for a coffee. the deed was to be done. (i'm actually having more fun writing this in a fairytail story than i should. i'll try doing the next story as a poem)

 

thus our brave night donned his best set of casual clothing to temp the fair maiden into cuddles and maybe more (i was still sexual at the time). he arrived bang on the dot of 2 o clock and sat with caffeinated beverage in hand waiting for the fair maiden. she arrived wearing the garments of a commoner with 2 children in tow. this was not something that normally bothered our curly haired hero so he soldiered on with the date. at one point, the maiden's mother arrived and sat with us. i was confused, was this not a date betwixt potential lovers to be? little did our hero know, he was in for a battle he could not have a chance of victory. only the humiliation would follow. 

 

the older maiden started making statements of a rather personal variety. such as
"oh my, havent you grown from the strapping young lad who used to mow my lawn"

"i remember watching you building that trampoline for us and watching you take off your shirt when it got too sweaty"

"do you still go to the gym? i was always surprised how much muscle you had for a skinny man"

 

i ask the younger maiden aside to ask what this was about. before i could get thy answer, the older maiden approached and said "well save some for me jem, even if there is enough for the 2 of us" then proceeded to squeeze thine buttocks and walk off. the younger maiden proclaimed confidently "well my mother always thought you had a crush on her when you used to repair stuff for us as a teenager and do odd jobs. when i told her you asked me out on a date, she wanted me to ask you if it would be ok to have a 3 way with the 2 of us. it's not weird for us. we've done it with other guys before." (there was more but it was way more disturbing than that and went into more detail) our brave hero knew at that point, this was a battle he had to flee from. and so, he retreated to his trusty steed (a 1995 mx5) and rode off to the barracks of his friend lauren..... to have a big old cry.

.........................................0.0

[Chihiro]

@nutterwithasolderingiron Wow. Love your writing skill, sounds less disturbing when told as a fairy tale. How did you leave the date? What excuse did you give them?

[Iam9man]

9 hours ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

ok, gather round children and i'll tell you a story. once there was a brave young knight with an afro called sean. it was a different time where one could buy a large latte in starbucks for £2.65. he was browsing a dating app and noticed an old friend who used to live on his street. he knew this maiden used to have the fancy for him. after a while of talking, the maiden asked our brave hero if he would treat her for a coffee. the deed was to be done. (i'm actually having more fun writing this in a fairytail story than i should. i'll try doing the next story as a poem)

 

thus our brave night donned his best set of casual clothing to temp the fair maiden into cuddles and maybe more (i was still sexual at the time). he arrived bang on the dot of 2 o clock and sat with caffeinated beverage in hand waiting for the fair maiden. she arrived wearing the garments of a commoner with 2 children in tow. this was not something that normally bothered our curly haired hero so he soldiered on with the date. at one point, the maiden's mother arrived and sat with us. i was confused, was this not a date betwixt potential lovers to be? little did our hero know, he was in for a battle he could not have a chance of victory. only the humiliation would follow. 

 

the older maiden started making statements of a rather personal variety. such as
"oh my, havent you grown from the strapping young lad who used to mow my lawn"

"i remember watching you building that trampoline for us and watching you take off your shirt when it got too sweaty"

"do you still go to the gym? i was always surprised how much muscle you had for a skinny man"

 

i ask the younger maiden aside to ask what this was about. before i could get thy answer, the older maiden approached and said "well save some for me jem, even if there is enough for the 2 of us" then proceeded to squeeze thine buttocks and walk off. the younger maiden proclaimed confidently "well my mother always thought you had a crush on her when you used to repair stuff for us as a teenager and do odd jobs. when i told her you asked me out on a date, she wanted me to ask you if it would be ok to have a 3 way with the 2 of us. it's not weird for us. we've done it with other guys before." (there was more but it was way more disturbing than that and went into more detail) our brave hero knew at that point, this was a battle he had to flee from. and so, he retreated to his trusty steed (a 1995 mx5) and rode off to the barracks of his friend lauren..... to have a big old cry.

My reactions whilst reading this:

 

🤣🤣🤣

😮😮😮

😱😱😱

🤮🤮🤮

[neverlove]

2 hours ago, Iam9man said:

My reactions whilst reading this:

 

🤣🤣🤣

😮😮😮

😱😱😱

🤮🤮🤮

Can’t say I was ever laughing:

 

😐😧🤢🤮

[Iam9man]

12 minutes ago, neverlove said:

Can’t say I was ever laughing:

 

😐😧🤢🤮

‘twas the prose that made me laugh 🤣

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

15 hours ago, Chihiro said:

@nutterwithasolderingiron Wow. Love your writing skill, sounds less disturbing when told as a fairy tale. How did you leave the date? What excuse did you give them?

in retrospect, i feel guilty because i never gave them a reason. i just stood up and walked to the car. 

[neverlove]

4 hours ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

in retrospect, i feel guilty because i never gave them a reason. i just stood up and walked to the car. 

Don’t bother feeling guilty! If they felt it was okay to approach you like that they were not about to understand your reasons for leaving! 

 

Nothing was going to work like a clear rejection. 

[Chihiro]

9 hours ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

in retrospect, i feel guilty because i never gave them a reason. i just stood up and walked to the car. 

Aww. I think it was brave of you to just up and walk out. I am sure they know what they were asking was unusual, so hopefully they will understand your reaction. Have you seen them or come across them since? Would be so awkward >_<

 

5 hours ago, neverlove said:

Don’t bother feeling guilty! If they felt it was okay to approach you like that they were not about to understand your reasons for leaving!

They seem like old friends, its natural to feel guilty about abruptly leaving them. Not all friends are perfect, in fact friendship comes with stupidity. It wasn't the best way for them to approach this sort of thing, but I don't think its right to judge them. Hopefully, they learnt from it and didn't make the next guy so uncomfortable. And since this took place in front of kids and in public place, its possible that in their culture its not considered inappropriate (I could be wrong, but this is why I don't judge things happening in a different culture. I don't take things at face value).

[neverlove]

8 hours ago, Chihiro said:

 

They seem like old friends, its natural to feel guilty about abruptly leaving them. Not all friends are perfect, in fact friendship comes with stupidity. It wasn't the best way for them to approach this sort of thing, but I don't think its right to judge them. Hopefully, they learnt from it and didn't make the next guy so uncomfortable. And since this took place in front of kids and in public place, its possible that in their culture its not considered inappropriate (I could be wrong, but this is why I don't judge things happening in a different culture. I don't take things at face value).

I draw a hard line at first degree incest and suggesting threesomes in front of children.

 

You are also not going to convince me that this was an intercultural experience. I am, however, legitimately concerned for those kids. If there is not a boundary between child and parent regarding sex then I am worried those kids may be sexually abused. Maybe not now, but when they’re sixteen or seventeen their mother or grandmother may suggest this to them and they’ll think it’s normal. 

 

If this makes me close-minded I’m prepared to start preaching “close-mindedness” on the streets with a megaphone and handwritten pamphlets! 

[sunbrella]

boob/ass pictures

couples

""""polyamorous people""""" (nothing against actually polyamorous people but 99% of the polyamorous profiles i see are just, frankly, college sluts...)

""""open relationships""""""

""""just looking for friends""""

clearly sexualized pictures in general

when tinder shows me men despite me saying that I only want to see women and listing myself as lesbian

"here for a good time not a long time"

uploading a couples picture (whether they're currently single or not)

only uploading 1 picture

 

also, why are there SO many smokers????? is it just an LA thing? 99% of people put "420 friendly" in their bio... 

[Chihiro]

13 hours ago, neverlove said:

You are also not going to convince me that this was an intercultural experience. I am, however, legitimately concerned for those kids. If there is not a boundary between child and parent regarding sex then I am worried those kids may be sexually abused. Maybe not now, but when they’re sixteen or seventeen their mother or grandmother may suggest this to them and they’ll think it’s normal. 

Yeah, thanks to this "clear" boundary between adult and child regarding sex (and the resultant lack of sex-ed), we end up with lots of teenage pregnancies. Again, you don't know the age of these kids. Or how this topic was discussed. If they are toddlers, they aren't going to understand. If it was discussed indirectly using euphemisms or coded words, the kids are unlikely to understand. And it is not uncommon for kids to hear sex noises of their parents, or to walk in on parents having sex, those parents aren't committing crime for doing something that is natural.

And we have enough closed-mindedness in society, I have personally never discussed the topic of sex even as an adult thanks to the taboo. Without AVEN, I wouldn't have known many things regarding sex, biology etc.

 

Anyway, this was supposed to be funny story from the way the OP wrote it, so it is silly to pass judgements on the details we don't know about. I would just laugh and not read too much into it.

[neverlove]

1 hour ago, Chihiro said:

Yeah, thanks to this "clear" boundary between adult and child regarding sex (and the resultant lack of sex-ed), we end up with lots of teenage pregnancies. Again, you don't know the age of these kids. Or how this topic was discussed. If they are toddlers, they aren't going to understand. If it was discussed indirectly using euphemisms or coded words, the kids are unlikely to understand. And it is not uncommon for kids to hear sex noises of their parents, or to walk in on parents having sex, those parents aren't committing crime for doing something that is natural.

And we have enough closed-mindedness in society, I have personally never discussed the topic of sex even as an adult thanks to the taboo. Without AVEN, I wouldn't have known many things regarding sex, biology etc.

 

Anyway, this was supposed to be funny story from the way the OP wrote it, so it is silly to pass judgements on the details we don't know about. I would just laugh and not read too much into it.

That clear boundary never prevented my sex education. Do not conflate healthy boundaries and sexual repression. They are not the same.

 

 I have an issue with a mother and grandmother taking kids to liaison for an incestuous menage a trois. The world over this is abhorrent. Rather than judging them, it would be more accurate to say this evokes a visceral disgust. I object to how your responses would paint me as over-reacting, judgmental and suppressing sex education. I do not believe in with-holding information about sex anymore than I believe in drowning kids in sexual stimuli. This was inappropriate, plain and simple, so I resent your implications.

[Homer]

If we could get back to the topic of "profiles on dating apps", that would be appreciated.