smileactress Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 My girlfriend (or should i say recent x girlfriend) told me that she couldn't be with me because she thought that she was asexual. She wants to be aroused, and attracted to other people, but its only happened once, and that was when she was emotionally and deeply conected to another boy. She wants to be able to be aroused and turned on, but she can't. Is there anything that she can do? or that i can do to help her? I love her very much and i want her to live life the way she wants to. Human connections are really what its about. For me and for her. -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
ibicella Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Be there for her and be understanding as a friend regardless of what happens. I'm going through much the same feeling myself and having your friends around you to listen frankly and coming to this community is very healing. Outside of being honest with herself and perhaps finding a non-biased therapist to discuss it with, your ex is just going to have to go through the emotions until she settles figuring herself out. She might be truely asexual, or she might have the capability of being sexual one day. But right now, she needs to find herself. You're already doing the best thing for her by caring about her. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
smileactress Posted September 29, 2006 Author Share Posted September 29, 2006 thank you so much, that helps a lot. -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
sonofzeal Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Most asexuals can experience arousal. If she can't, it might be a sign of hormonal problems. I don't believe it's too expensive to get your hormone levels checked, and even if they come back normal it might help you guys come to terms with reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Orbit Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Most asexuals can experience arousal. Hmmm.... 'experience arousal' can mean many things to many people - if smileactress friend wants to be aroused and turned on, she probably means she wants that to happen when she is with someone meaning she wants to be attracted to someone. Very few people would use that terminology and mean experiencing that vague 'drive' feeling or to have their equipment tinkered with to force a reaction that most asexuals describe themselves as being able to feel. Link to post Share on other sites
helana12_03 Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 but its only happened once, and that was when she was emotionally and deeply conected to another boy Maybe she just needs some more time and when she feels close enough and deeply connected to you she will feel aroused and turned on. Link to post Share on other sites
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