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National Coming Out Day 2019


Katastrophee

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I think I'll wear my ace pin everywhere that day

 

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I wish I owned an ace flag or something but I do have a black ring.

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DarkStormyKnight

I have mixed feelings about coming out but I'll probably have my ace flag sweatshirt on. :) I usually save my hype for Ace Awareness Week though.

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@Lunala, Ace flags are available on Amazon and similar sites for only a few £, $, €. 

 

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Janus the Fox

I’m a small step closer to coming out as Trans, even if not verbally or physically coming out, coming out to yourself and contemplating it if you feel the need to eventually, goes a long way.

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Happy National Coming Out Day 2019!! 🏳️‍🌈🎊🎉
 

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maybeimamazed

I feel like crap, to be honest.

 

As someone who's both aromantic and asexual, I definitely feel like I belong in the LGBTQ+ community. But I don't experience the same struggles, so I'm not sure if the rest of the community would accept me.

 

I want to show my identity with pride, but because of that I just can't.

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19 minutes ago, brehasolo said:

I feel like crap, to be honest.

 

As someone who's both aromantic and asexual, I definitely feel like I belong in the LGBTQ+ community. But I don't experience the same struggles, so I'm not sure if the rest of the community would accept me.

 

I want to show my identity with pride, but because of that I just can't.

I’m not aromantic, but have made good friends by joining LGBTQ+ groups and have largely been accepted & welcomed (maybe with the odd initial raised eyebrow) for my orientation. Some of my struggles are the same as other LGBTQ+ people’s, some are not. I’m not transgender but some of the people I connected with the most are; the sense of being an “outsider” is definitely something we share.

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On 10/3/2019 at 4:54 PM, Acing It said:

National... so US only... Phew! ☺️

I just checked, looks like it is observed all over the world.

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I ended up choosing not to come out to my parents just yet but did wear my ace jewelry and my pride flag socks to work today. The only person who recognized my ace pin in the past did ask me if I am aromantic, out of curiosity.

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maybeimamazed
9 hours ago, Iam9man said:

I’m not aromantic, but have made good friends by joining LGBTQ+ groups and have largely been accepted & welcomed (maybe with the odd initial raised eyebrow) for my orientation. Some of my struggles are the same as other LGBTQ+ people’s, some are not. I’m not transgender but some of the people I connected with the most are; the sense of being an “outsider” is definitely something we share.

It sucks because... this whole conundrum makes me resent things like demisexuality and the split attraction model. Because I feel like if asexuality was understood as just no attraction at all (meaning aroaces), there would be no question that it belongs in the queer community. All these subdivisions make it seem like we are trying too hard to seem "different".

 

Before anyone says anything, let me say that I KNOW I'm wrong about this. I do. It's something I have to work on. I just can't help it sometimes. Sorry, guys.

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Happy National Coming Out Day 2019! This is a difficult task for one to attempt (even consider), so remember whatever choice you decide (either to come out or come out) feel proud of what you do! :) 

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2 hours ago, brehasolo said:

It sucks because... this whole conundrum makes me resent things like demisexuality and the split attraction model. Because I feel like if asexuality was understood as just no attraction at all (meaning aroaces), there would be no question that it belongs in the queer community. All these subdivisions make it seem like we are trying too hard to seem "different".

 

Before anyone says anything, let me say that I KNOW I'm wrong about this. I do. It's something I have to work on. I just can't help it sometimes. Sorry, guys.

Conversely, in one of the LGBTQ+ groups several people were fascinated to understand my particular experiences, as they had assumed asexual meant “no attraction whatsoever”.

 

Good luck working this through 😊

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AceMissBehaving
2 hours ago, brehasolo said:

It sucks because... this whole conundrum makes me resent things like demisexuality and the split attraction model. Because I feel like if asexuality was understood as just no attraction at all (meaning aroaces), there would be no question that it belongs in the queer community. All these subdivisions make it seem like we are trying too hard to seem "different".

 

Before anyone says anything, let me say that I KNOW I'm wrong about this. I do. It's something I have to work on. I just can't help it sometimes. Sorry, guys.

I at least wish everything didn’t get so lumped in together for similar reasons, especially as the demisexual demographic has gotten so huge, it feels like it kind of eclipses anything else. I find myself feeling resentful too, and also trying to work on that.

 

In the end I decided to be out, use my voice, and show my identity with pride because it was a long hard fight to get where I’m at.

 

Those that want to listen can, those that don’t can turn away. I figure I’m one ace voice in a sea of demi, but if I keep quiet there’s just the sea of demi. 
 

(And then go vent vociferously in private over tea with close  friends)

 

 

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rainbowocollie

So I did come out to my mom as aro-spec by telling her that I'm not attracted to anyone (but that I might be one day, to leave room for the demiromanticism), and overall I think it went well. I didn't use any labels cuz I didn't think she would accept them. (I did show her my aromantic flag and she wasn't at all keen on that, so I was right not to use labels)

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Princess KittenSparkles

I'm back from pride and it was A-MA-ZING!!! I loved it so much and I was able to meet other asexuals and aromantics! I also got a lot of questions about asexuality so that was awesome, I'm always happy to spread awareness. Here is the outfit I made to represent us 😊 (excuse the mess in the background I always make a huge mess when I'm getting ready LOL)

nlNGsCS.png

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I didn't know Oct 11 was ace coming out day. Coincidentally, that's the day I first encountered this site and wrote my narrative for the first time. Serendipitous, I suppose. Auspicious, I hope. I've gone so far as to recently tell my husband (who is sexual) that I need to be free to be whatever it is I am, and to stop trying so hard to be something "better" because I can no longer live with the belief that I'm broken and need fixing. I didn't use the word asexual to describe myself, but in retrospect I see that everything I articulated to him was leading to this realization. I didn't know other people struggled with this identity. I thank God for you all. I don't personally know anyone who understands this. So, effectively, I unwittingly came out to this community on coming out day. I am not ready to tell my husband more yet. I need to though, because I think this community would help him to understand the dynamics of this part of our relationship too. Your support means the world to me. I need it now. I feel like I am mourning the me I've tried to reject and bind up with other people's expectations all my life. It's heartbreaking; I'd only ever heard "asexual" meant as an insult (as in cold, frigid, unfeeling, rejectable) before. I feel freer than ever, and am learning new aspects of self-love. I wish I had asexual friends to talk to about this. It's lonely being in the 1%. Much love to you all. 

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I'm not in the same situation as you but finding out about asexuality wss such a relief! Looking back at my life before I identified as asexual, I'd say I was heterosexual but not putting much of an effort into it...

 

Welcome to AVEN and it's great that the community has helped you.

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SO I didn't end up coming out on social media, I got too nervous and had a bad day that day. BUT a few days later I accidentally came out to my brother (who already knew I was asexual) as panromantic. He tagged me in a post that said "if your momma has 3 or more kids, one of y'all gay" and he had said "u h o h 😂😂😂" and I messaged him saying way to call me out like that lol and he said WAIT WHAT I'M THE GAY ONE and we bonded over both being pan hahaha (him pansexual me panromantic).

 

Just one coworker of mine briefly asked what my flag meant and I said asexuality and he didn't say anything else because I was on my way out. I'm planning on wearing my flag all this week though, for AAW, and possibly writing/painting a sign that says "Ask me about asexuality" so that's fun! 

 

I'm in therapy at my college and I'm lucky enough to be in an LGBTQ+ group that meets weekly. There is one other ace in that group and it's super nice to know I'm not alone. I have seen a lot of talk about some people in the LGBTQ+ community not accepting asexual people, but the people in my group show that's BS and just others not understanding being Ace to its full extent. While I've known I'm ace for about 8 years now, I still feel waves of feeling broken and so terribly different from everyone around me. But that's okay! I try to often remind myself that there's nothing wrong with me, that while my experience is different and extremely challenging it's the cards I have to work with so what matters is how I play them (with an abundance of ace cards, heh). Others are always going to not fully understand and may misunderstand parts of the Ace community/identity, but I will try my best to make a positive impact wherever I can. Love all of y'all, stay strong, you are whole and worth it ❤️ 

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