Sexuals why are you with an asexual?

[Whomadewho]

@SusannaC Thanks, you are right she is giving me the best she has. And in fairness to her, sex is regular enough for the last while. Once at least every second week.

Its just, the last time I asked her about being asexual, she said she wasnt. I made her do one off those online asexual quizes and she passed as a sexual.

She asked if she was asexual would I call it a day, I said I would as we would fundamentally be incompatible. 

Since ive been questioning her about asexuality, she mush have been reading up about it herself. 

The onus is on her to be honest with me.

As Ive said before on paper we are compatible in every other way, except in the bedroom.

I could go off and get another woman who am compatible in the bedroom but not every other way. 

I am getting marraige pressure from all angles at the moment so I have to make a decision soon.

 

 

 

[Traveler40]

@Whomadewho do not marry her. This is as good as it will get and sex clearly matters to you. Should you ignore this and move forward, you do so eyes wide open and have zero reason to ever resent your partner.  I congratulate you on figuring it out and getting here so early on. For many it took years, if not decades to understand which was too late. However, it’s not too late for you. 
 

If you find this decision hard today, it will only become harder in time as you entangle further.  Sexual incompatibility of this magnitude is not trite.

 

Separately, I have recently come to realize that many folks in life settle while believing they have a great match. It’s the, “if it’s majority good, you’ve won” mentality. Is this practical, lazy, ignorant, desperate or the path of least resistance?  I’m not sure as I did it as well.  Now that I’ve found a perfect fit, I see how I compromised my entire life. However, had I waited for what might have never come (I only found him due to my marriage to an asexual man) I would not have my children. It’s tough all the way around and time is finite. Yep, I understand the difficulty and one never knows how it may go. Choose your own adventure.  Best of luck!

[Whomadewho]

7 minutes ago, Traveler40 said:

@Whomadewho do not marry her. This is as good as it will get and sex clearly matters to you. Should you ignore this and move forward, you do so eyes wide open and have zero reason to ever resent your partner.  I congratulate you on figuring it out and getting here so early on. For many it took years, if not decades to understand which was too late. However, it’s not too late for you. 
 

If you find this decision hard today, it will only become harder in time as you entangle further.  Sexual incompatibility of this magnitude is not trite.

 

Separately, I have recently come to realize that many folks in life settle while believing they have a great match. It’s the, “if it’s majority good, you’ve won” mentality. Is this practical, lazy, ignorant, desperate or the path of least resistance?  I’m not sure as I did it as well.  Now that I’ve found a perfect fit, I see how I compromised my entire life. However, had I waited for what might have never come (I only found him due to my marriage to an asexual man) I would not have my children. It’s tough all the way around and time is finite. Yep, I understand the difficulty and one never knows how it may go. Choose your own adventure.  Best of luck!

@Traveler40 it took me 12 years to figure out, but you are right, for my own sanity I have to make the right decision

[Traveler40]

40 minutes ago, Whomadewho said:

 it took me 12 years to figure out, but you are right, for my own sanity I have to make the right decision

Well then, you may as well be married. Still, if relatively young, then you still have options. I just scrolled back to see what I’d missed and see you have been here for 2 years.  Why the delay?  If you’re relatively unencumbered in comparison, the indecision will do you in. Make a choice and stick with it. I see that as the only path to peace.

 

Edit: Hmmm, so interesting! You joined AVEN the day after I did. So much life has happened in the past 2.5 years.  In trying to consider each of our chosen paths,  I know I have zero regret.

[Whomadewho]

14 minutes ago, Traveler40 said:

Well then, you may as well be married. Still, if relatively young, then you still have options. I just scrolled back to see what I’d missed and see you have been here for 2 years.  Why the delay?  If you’re relatively unencumbered in comparison, the indecision will do you in. Make a choice and stick with it. I see that as the only path to peace.

 

Edit: Hmmm, so interesting! You joined AVEN the day after I did. So much life has happened in the past 2.5 years.  In trying to consider each of our chosen paths,  I know I have zero regret.

@Traveller40 being honest, Ive had alot other personal issues in the last 2 year ,in which my girlfriends libido has been the least of my worries. Ive also had a pretty regular sex life, vanilla but regular. She has made a bit of an effort. She maybe sex favorable, but just doesnt desire it.