Identified Asexual

[Just jo]

I’ve always assumed that I’d become sexual one day but at the age of 31 I have only experienced sexual attraction to two men in my life and only within the last 2 years . I truly do wish that I could be sexual I often envy women who are sexual I try to understand their way of thinking in hopes it will convert mine. It’s a paralyzing to me I want to want to have sex like all the time anywhere with anyone but the sexual desire isn’t there . It doesn’t connect. In relationships I’m more open to actually having sex but never would I be the one initiating the act. If only I could somehow overcome this Asexuality I could fulfill my fantasies of being a slut per say or a whore at least get paid for it right?! Debilitating as this is for me personally I pray one day I’ll grow out of it . Where can I access more information on Asexuality I’ve gotta know if it’s something you can change and why am I this way is it a lack of chemicals in the brain or access of. Was it something developed from childhood trauma what’s the 411 anyone got a clue ?! Help a sista out?!

[probably insane]

it's different for everyone

 

some people might be asexual due to trauma and other might be just because they are!

 

it's few are far between

 

i understand that you want to 'grow out of it' and that could potentially happen

 

but you've also got to accept that you might not??

 

(i dont know if i'm helping or not but i'm gonna keep going..)

 

i don't think understanding a sexual persons way of thinking would help 'convert' yours because even then, people all think differently about it.

 

i think being open to actually having sex is a start

 

i don't think trying to change who you are is a good idea because this is a part of who you are for a reason

 

i don't know where you could access more information but i think just doing a general search would be the best bet

 

(depending on whether you want more scientific sources or more general facts)

 

hope this was helpful in some way...

[Rynn]

The fact that you 'want to want sex' sticks out to me. Do you mean you want to want sex because you want to be normal, or because you want a romantic relationship and think sex is necessary for that, or because you want to know what all the fuss is about? Or do you want to want sex because you want sex (for yourself, for intimacy or physical pleasure)? The first three reasons are common among aces, but the last is not, and (to me) could be a sign that you aren't dealing with asexuality, but with something that kills your libido. I'm not a doctor, so please ask someone who is a doctor before trusting me, but there are a number of medical issues (thyroid issues, depression, etc) that could be to blame for that.

 

If you are asexual, then no, it is not something you can change, just like you can't change being gay or straight. If there is an underlying medical issue, then in principle you could be able to change that.

 

Also, your post reminded me of cupiosexuality (someone who has an innate desire for partnered sex, but who is never sexually attracted to anyone) so you could also ask yourself if that's a label that fits. That one is also permanent I'm afraid.

[crazy ace]

I mean, if you've felt sexual attraction, then you might be grey-sexual. Or, if this lack of sexual attraction is new to you, you might definitely want to see a doctor.