coughsyrup Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 I work as a cashier and have noticed at least two people wearing ace rings. Unfortunately, I wasn't wearing my ring on either of those days so I didn't really know how to bring it up. I was just wondering if there was a good way to approach someone with an ace ring without making the situation awkward? I want to be able to bond with fellow aces but I guess my social awkwardness/shyness always gets in the way 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
ForceGhost Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 I don't think I've ever had a negative altercation in person with other aces, they've all been happy to converse considering we're such a small portion of the population, even if some of our beliefs outside of the spectrum are different. But if you really want to be cautious, get yourself a ring and show it to them. They'll more than likely understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Chloe88 Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 What you think is an ace ring may not be an ace ring, so be very careful. Just ask "whats the significance of your ring?" Link to post Share on other sites
Lanaril Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 11 minutes ago, Gresla said: What you think is an ace ring may not be an ace ring, so be very careful. Just ask "whats the significance of your ring?" Or even “Is there a significance to your ring?” Link to post Share on other sites
coughsyrup Posted September 29, 2019 Author Share Posted September 29, 2019 27 minutes ago, Gresla said: What you think is an ace ring may not be an ace ring, so be very careful. Just ask "whats the significance of your ring?" That's definitely another reason why I'm hesitant about approaching! I was also thinking maybe starting off by saying 'I like your ring' and see if/how they elaborate. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 I'm wearing a black ring though if someone asked me about it, I would be very sceptical about kind of answer to give. It depends on the person asking this question to me. Link to post Share on other sites
RenalWaldo Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 I’d be cautious. I see a LOT of people wearing black rings who aren’t ace. If you’re curious, you might consider saying something like “That’s a nice ring. Where could I get one like thst?” and see how they respond. Link to post Share on other sites
letusdeleteouraccounts Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 3 hours ago, RoonalWaslib said: I’d be cautious. I see a LOT of people wearing black rings who aren’t ace. It do be like that. I watch a pretty popular gay guy on youtube named Larray and he tends to wear a black ring in the exact same spot that aces wear theirs Link to post Share on other sites
GlamRocker Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 I'm going to say, "'Sup, Fellow ACE!!!" If they give me a blank stare, well, I'll know. They won't. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 I would ask directly "is that an ace ring?". If I were asked directly I would gladly answer directly. If someone asked me vaguely "what is the significance" I would answer vaguely like "it helps me not feel alone," or that "I have friends everywhere." I'm not the type that will go out of my way at all to bring up my sexuality. I applaud those that are comfortable doing that, but it's not my personality...yet. Link to post Share on other sites
N8ty L3asT Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 I don’t know if I would be able to do anything, I could just see myself going “ *gasp* what if it’s one of our siblings! “ Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 I haven't noticed anyone wearing one, but then I don't check ring fingers though. If I'm up to Toronto, I'll wear it, otherwise I don't 'advertise' my aceness. I live in a rural area, so you can imagine the reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
rosegoldace Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 I always question this as well. I wear both an Ace ring (a black ring on my right hand of my middle finger) and an Aro ring (a white ring on my left hand of my middle finger), so I think the combination comes across very flashy. I've only ever got asked about them from non-Ace folk, so I use the opportunity to share about Asexuality and Aromanticism. I would honestly love another Ace or Aro to approach me if they ever saw me about. I go to an Ace Meetup in my city very so often and a lot of members I've seen have Ace rings. I'm not sure if they just wear it for the meet up or if they wear it regularly, but it's always nice to see other people wearing Ace rings. I too have seen a couple of people outside of the Meetup I attend and in public with a seemingly Ace ring, but like you, I didn't know how to approach them and ended up not approaching them because I was too shy. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkStormyKnight Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Only time I found someone with a ring I just asked "hey not to be weird but I saw your ring, are you ace?" and it went fine. If people are comfortable wearing a ring then they're usually pretty open about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 On 9/30/2019 at 4:20 PM, will123 said: If I'm up to Toronto, I'll wear it, otherwise I don't 'advertise' my aceness. I live in a rural area, so you can imagine the reaction. I definitely relate to wanting to be cautious about visibility in narrow-minded places of the world, but do very many people know about the ace ring AND take issue with asexuals? As far as I know, the ace ring isn't well known at all outside of the asexual community specifically, and you really have to be looking for it to notice it. And I feel like it has a lot of plausible deniability; it would be so believable that you're just wearing a ring for no significant reason. But if you don't see any benefit to wearing it where you live, then I totally understand why it wouldn't be worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 7 hours ago, Mackenzie Holiday said: I definitely relate to wanting to be cautious about visibility in narrow-minded places of the world, but do very many people know about the ace ring AND take issue with asexuals? As far as I know, the ace ring isn't well known at all outside of the asexual community specifically, and you really have to be looking for it to notice it. And I feel like it has a lot of plausible deniability; it would be so believable that you're just wearing a ring for no significant reason. But if you don't see any benefit to wearing it where you live, then I totally understand why it wouldn't be worth it. How true. If someone did ask me about the ring I'm sure I'd have no problem discussing it. I'm very open about other things in my life, so telling a stranger (especially in Toronto) would be pretty easy. One of my friends that I'm out to lives in Toronto. Telling her was on my 'bucket list'. I figured living and working there she would have interacted with a lot of people that are members of the LGBTQ+ community. Turns out one of her nieces is a lesbian and it's not a big deal to her. My asexuality (even though she wasn't aware of it) was a non-issue with her. She more of less said that it didn't affect our friendship one bit Link to post Share on other sites
mellohi_lover Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 On 9/30/2019 at 9:52 AM, Star Lion said: It do be like that. I watch a pretty popular gay guy on youtube named Larray and he tends to wear a black ring in the exact same spot that aces wear theirs I actually just came from one of his videos after I saw his ring. I was extremely confused Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 I honestly don't know how I would respond to a prompt. I think it would be positively, but it would be in hushed tones. Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 Q: How to approach someone with an ace ring? A: Cautiously from downwind with plenty of cover. Link to post Share on other sites
NorthCircleTraveller Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I would risk asking if it's an ace ring. If it is not, I'll try to derail the conversation as if I'm asking about the material of the ring. Read somewhere on the internet that a person who wore the ring presumed this ace guy/girl/pal was asking about the material. Thought this might be a good excuse. Better to try than be shy! Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 14 hours ago, Purple Wanderer said: Q: How to approach someone with an ace ring? A: Cautiously from downwind with plenty of cover. I thought that was a moose? Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 "hey is that an ace ring?" People who are wearing the ring for other reasons may not even know that "ace" is asexual and will just react in confusion in which case "oh, never mind, nice ring though." We here take it for granted that ace is asexual but much of the rest of the world will think of cards or something. Link to post Share on other sites
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