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Ace people asking for nude photos or something


RosyLeo

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I use an app (AceApp) to chat with other asexual people and make friends.Ā  At least 3 people have expressed some sort of interest in seeing me naked, e.g. last night the message "can I help u to drop ur clothesĀ šŸ˜‰".Ā  Or a while ago, in reference to me wearing only swimming trunks in my profile picture, someone said "you are almost nakedĀ šŸ˜Ā šŸ˜‰"

Ā 

I think even for a lot of allosexual people these commentsĀ would be seen as gross, but coming from people who claim to be asexual I'm just totally confused.Ā  I was tempted to ask the person last night why they would say that, but my desire to end the conversation overruled my curiosity.

Ā 

Can anyone explain?Ā  I personally don't conflate nudity with sexual desire, but in the context of these comments I don't know how else to interpret it.Ā  For me, one of the many reasons I identify as ace is because IĀ don't care about anyone'sĀ genitalia and would probably rather they keep their underwear on.Ā  I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's identity as asexual, I'm just having trouble understanding why an asexual person would want to see me naked.Ā  There could be a valid reason; it just isn't obvious to me.

Ā 

This might belong in "Questions About Asexuality."Ā  If so, please move it.

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Of course nobody has asked me for a naked picture, but I have received many hellos from scantily dressed mostly young women. I handle then each differently. Some I pretendĀ Ā to be interested, some I blast for being on an Ace dating site dressed that way. Now I just delete once a week, but yes it is quite unsettlingĀ 

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I think they're people who haven't quite twigged it's an app for ace people. I can't say I've had people asking me for naked pictures but I've had a few messages on there from people offering to be my "sugar daddy", which could be valid in an ace context but feels out of place on the app. If it makes you uncomfortable, just block them :)

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There's been a long-standing problem with *some* (putting that in asterisks before anyone annoyingly calls me out on this) sexuals trying to pass for asexuals, which isn't really surprising. They figure we are inexperienced and they can take advantage of that.

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4 minutes ago, Moon Spirit ā˜½ said:

@tase Some of those might be dudes trying to lure people in with pictures of hot women.

Perhaps

Ā 

I've had dudes say hello several times as well when my profile clearly say Ā heteromanticĀ .Ā ĀÆļ»æ\ļ»æ_(惄ļ»æ)_/ļ»æļ»æ

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@tase I made a fake profile for fun once on a dating site with a picture of Aaron Carter at 12 years old holding a puppy and listed myself as a 22 year old female and dudes were messaging me because they thought Aaron Carter was a female..

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@t. Ro, I suppose there is something to be said for aesthetically valuing the nude human form.Ā  But something tells me this is probably not the case.

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That has the trolldar twitching, report them to the site moderatorsĀ 

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I have had quite a few experiences (even on AVEN) with people who claim to be asexual quickly asking for nudes or saying stuff like "I'd love to know what kind of panties you're wearing" etc. It's very different if you've known that person for ages and both expressed a clear intimate interest in each other (that's cool if you're both into it) but out of the blue after only a couple of messages, or when you've shown no interest? That's prettyĀ common (distasteful)Ā behaviour from certain predatory sexuals on dating sites and in chat rooms.Ā So these people are either only pretending to be asexual, may actually think they're ace but they're sexual, or they're just aexuals knowingly trolling an ace site.Ā 

Ā 

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1 hour ago, t. Ro said:

At least 3 people have expressed some sort of interest in seeing me naked, e.g. last night the message "can I help u to drop ur clothesĀ šŸ˜‰".Ā  Or a while ago, in reference to me wearing only swimming trunks in my profile picture, someone said "you are almost nakedĀ šŸ˜Ā šŸ˜‰"

Yeah, that's kind of gross. They seem to be allos pretending to be ace (and quite terribly I might add) to take advantages of aces on the website.Ā šŸ˜¬

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1 hour ago, Blaiddmelyn said:

I think they're people who haven't quite twigged it's an app for ace people. I can't say I've had people asking me for naked pictures but I've had a few messages on there from people offering to be my "sugar daddy", which could be valid in an ace context but feels out of place on the app. If it makes you uncomfortable, just block them :)

I mean if there are ace sugar daddies i am all there :P. But it's probably just sexual people who haven't figured out it's an ace app.

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6 minutes ago, Evren said:

I mean if there are ace sugar daddies i am all there :P. But it's probably just sexual people who haven't figured out it's an ace app.

I did also get an offer from a sugar daddy. I'm not exactly sure how that would work either, since he lived very far away so idk what he was looking for.

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A lot of people who ID as ace exchange nudes and cyber. Some even cam sex. It was a really common event in AVEN chat. Sure it still happens elsewhere now AVEN chat is kinda dead. Asexual spaces aren't free from sexual advances.Ā 

Ā 

Though, personally, I find it brave to PM anything personal like a nude through AVEN where the mods / admins can see it. šŸ˜›

Ā 

Ā 

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2 hours ago, Serran said:

Though, personally, I find it brave to PM anything personal like a nude through AVEN where the mods / admins can see it. šŸ˜›

Not to mention the NSA.

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12 hours ago, t. Ro said:

I did also get an offer from a sugar daddy. I'm not exactly sure how that would work either, since he lived very far away so idk what he was looking for.

Different minds. I was thinking that he'd have to compensate me for loss of earnings and I earn more than he offered.

Ā 

Though distance and not wanting a sugar daddy were also factors in my decision not to proceed with the kind offer.Ā 

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Unexpected response to an unexpected question. You're welcome. šŸ˜šŸ˜‚Screenshot-20190929-132620-Gallery.jpg

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17 hours ago, Evren said:

But it's probably just sexual people who haven't figured out it's an ace app.

Maybe not.Ā  If an Ace Ap is a dating ap then people may have sexual expectations.Ā 

Is the AceApp mentioned in the OP a dating apĀ in any way?

Ā 

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20 hours ago, t. Ro said:

I identify as ace is because IĀ don't care about anyone'sĀ genitalia and would probably rather they keep their underwear on

This!

Ā 

As to being asked for nude photos... no idea, but I as ace certainly can appreciate the human body (minus genitalia) so itā€™s not a huge leap for me to imagine an asexual who does like the look of genitalia, whilst not desiring to do anything with them šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

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Iā€™m even sex favorable. On no level would it ever cross my mind to ask this of someone.Ā MaybeĀ they are asexuals with a kink, but honestly, people who end up identifying as a-spectrum think way too deeply about sex and its meaning to make this kind of comment willy-nilly, imho.

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25 minutes ago, neverlove said:

willy-nilly

Pun intended? šŸ¤£

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3 hours ago, Muledeer said:

Maybe not.Ā  If an Ace Ap is a dating ap then people may have sexual expectations.Ā 

Is the AceApp mentioned in the OP a dating apĀ in any way?

Ā 

I think some people use itĀ for dating.Ā  There is an area of the profile for stating if you are looking for chat, friendship, or a relationship.Ā  Even so, the app is specifically for asexual people, so I don't think there should be any sexual expectations.Ā  MAYBEĀ if you are grey or demi, but the context of this situation was someone identifying as asexual messaging me, also identifying as asexualĀ only looking for chat and friendship, and I received these suggestive messages within our first conversation, or out of the blue.Ā  If we are assuming their identity as asexual is true and they aren't a predator or troll, I'd be more willing to believe that it was some sort of kink, or they like looking at naked people cause it turns them on but they don't actually desire sex with that person.Ā  Idk, I'm still confused.

Ā 

2 hours ago, neverlove said:

people who end up identifying as a-spectrum think way too deeply about sex and its meaning to make this kind of comment willy-nilly, imho.

I agree.

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No clue why someone claiming to be asexual would ask for that. Iā€™m glad that nobody has asked me that.

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I'd say they're trolls.

Ā 

Aces would be unlikely to ask, and if they were to ask, it wouldn't be without some explanation.

Ā 

I'm sure some aces are nudity favorable, but they wouldn't ask in this way.

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6 minutes ago, twetzel59 said:

I'd say they're trolls.

For this kind of thing, I think they graduate to ā€œpredatorā€.Ā 

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2 minutes ago, neverlove said:

For this kind of thing, I think they graduate to ā€œpredatorā€.Ā 

Agreed. Intentions may vary, but there are scary people out there that just might be twisted enough to try to take advantage of asexuals. Use caution. Especially when online stuff becomes personally identifiable.

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I'm surprised no one has mentioned bots

some bots are sent out just to harvest pictures that can be used by other bots

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AceMissBehaving
44 minutes ago, gisiebob said:

I'm surprised no one has mentioned bots

some bots are sent out just to harvest pictures that can be used by other bots

I did wonder if it might be bots

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