AroAceLakshi Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 I came out to my sister initially I taught she would understand later on after listening to me she said being asexual would ruin my life .I told her about platonic love but she told me it is same as romantic or sexual love.....I have no idea how do I explain the difference Link to post Share on other sites
nineGardens Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 I.... I have no idea what to say here. That was a really inconsiderate thing for your sister to say. ... I have no idea how to explain difference either. Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Wayne Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 What she said to you was inappropriate... To my knowledge (but I'm still learning, I found out about asexuality only about a year ago), sexual love/attraction is that kind of thing when people see a person and they think "I would like to sleep with that person". But romantic attraction means that you would like to be with that person romantically, e. g. holding hands, hugging, kissing etc. And platonic love might mean that you just want to be with the person you love without anything romantic, e. g. without kissing etc.? That's how I understand it so far (sorry if it's not precise). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 2 hours ago, AroAceLakshi said: I came out to my sister initially I taught she would understand later on after listening to me she said being asexual would ruin my life .I told her about platonic love but she told me it is same as romantic or sexual love.....I have no idea how do I explain the difference Ask her if she feels romantic and sexual love for your parents then, if she doesn't believe in platonic love. 😛 That's the silliest thing for someone to say. Every sexual person has people they love platonically as well. Link to post Share on other sites
AroAceLakshi Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 2 hours ago, Serran said: Ask her if she feels romantic and sexual love for your parents then, if she doesn't believe in platonic love. 😛 That's the silliest thing for someone to say. Every sexual person has people they love platonically as well. I told her that it never really went well Link to post Share on other sites
WanderingKate Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 I'm sorry that you had to deal with this...it's hard having someone you're close to invalidate your identity like this. Unfortunately if she's already against even the idea of trying to understand your sexual orientation, there is no magic words or phrases that will make her magically understand and support you. The best you can do is try to explain it to her as clearly and patiently as you can, and then possibly point her to some outside resources...you could even point her to this website, and hopefully because she cares about you she will conduct some research of her own. Unfortunately though, it sounds like she may just be closed minded, and there isn't a whole lot you can do to educate someone who is not open to growth. Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 3 hours ago, Steve Rogers said: What she said to you was inappropriate... To my knowledge (but I'm still learning, I found out about asexuality only about a year ago), sexual love/attraction is that kind of thing when people see a person and they think "I would like to sleep with that person". But romantic attraction means that you would like to be with that person romantically, e. g. holding hands, hugging, kissing etc. And platonic love might mean that you just want to be with the person you love without anything romantic, e. g. without kissing etc.? That's how I understand it so far (sorry if it's not precise). Many sexuals don't just "see a person and think" they want to sleep with them. Some do, but I doubt it's the majority. It's usually more involved and deeper than that, relating to their connection. I'm not a sexual person, so I can't explain it better than that. Romanic people want to be in a "relationship" with someone, spend time with that person, and do things specially for that person. This usually also involves sensual acts like kissing, holding hands, and hugging. I'm not romantic, so I can't explain it better than that. I do have sensual attraction, so I get desire to hug or kiss (not hold hands, though, oddly) people without any thought that I want to date them or have them be a different role in my life than just my friend, acquaintance, or stranger, depending on the situation. So one can want to do sensual acts without having the typical romance or sex that peope associate with them. I hope this makes sense. This is discussed a lot, so do a search and you'll find sexual and romantic people of AVEN describing what they feel better than my aroace self can for them. Link to post Share on other sites
AroAceLakshi Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 24 minutes ago, Firefly8 said: Many sexuals don't just "see a person and think" they want to sleep with them. Some do, but I doubt it's the majority. It's usually more involved and deeper than that, relating to their connection. I'm not a sexual person, so I can't explain it better than that. Romanic people want to be in a "relationship" with someone, spend time with that person, and do things specially for that person. This usually also involves sensual acts like kissing, holding hands, and hugging. I'm not romantic, so I can't explain it better than that. I do have sensual attraction, so I get desire to hug or kiss (not hold hands, though, oddly) people without any thought that I want to date them or have them be a different role in my life than just my friend, acquaintance, or stranger, depending on the situation. So one can want to do sensual acts without having the typical romance or sex that peope associate with them. I hope this makes sense. This is discussed a lot, so do a search and you'll find sexual and romantic people of AVEN describing what they feel better than my aroace self can for them. I also identify myself as aroace but I do have platonic love towards others but she doesn't want to listen to me at at all . She says that just because I am a virgin who studied in all girls schooland I am a nerd I was not around many guys to feel that but I know what I am . It's preety much hard to explain to her and my family . They think I am being selfish for giving myself this label Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 2 minutes ago, AroAceLakshi said: I also identify myself as aroace but I do have platonic love towards others but she doesn't want to listen to me at at all . She says that just because I am a virgin who studied in all girls schooland I am a nerd I was not around many guys to feel that but I know what I am . It's preety much hard to explain to her and my family . They think I am being selfish for giving myself this label I get what you're saying. My post was addressing Steve Rogers's post directly. This is why I only quoted him in my post. Link to post Share on other sites
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