Sexual or asexual dreams?

[Eleee87]

Hello, I'm new here and I have a question I'm really interested in and I wanted to hear as many opinions as possible.

While talking to friends in the past I found out that people often dream about having sex and they say it's the best dream you can have. This also helped me understanding I'm asexual since I've never had a dream about sex. So I wondered what my best dream could be and there is only one that makes me feel really good and loved when I wake up but has nothing sexual in it, which is being hugged by a person that makes me feel comfortable and protected.

So my question is, what is the best dream you could ever have? A dream that fills up your heart and makes you feel good for the rest of the day? And also, does it involve sex or not?

[Guest]

It depends on what the person likes, to some a sex dream is amazing and to others a more simple dream is amazing. To some the sex dream is what fills up there heart and makes the rest of the day feel good. 

 

For me I honestly don't know if I could say any dream has made me feel good for the rest of the day, embarrassed yes but bliss, no idea.

 

If I had a dream about having some good pizza I probably could be happy with that lol

[Rynn]

Dreams about entire stories, new worlds to explore. Basically movies in your head in which you're the protagonist. They don't happen often, but when they do, it's pretty awesome.

 

No sex.

[Neutral Charge]

For me dreams of people i have feelings for of friendship,love or apreciation,dreams in which my feelings somehow get tranposed over these ppl and reflected back to me, and i feel them as if they feel them same way, like im in their bodies for a few moments and get to experience it,hard to explain.. that always makes me wake up joyfull and stay in a good mood.

Because even tho i wake up and remember its all inside myself and i may still be invisble or nonexisting in their reality, the feelings linger for several hours and thats a nice experience even if its not in our shared reality 😅  only kind of dreams that follow me in the wake state

[Yoruka]

I have so many types of dreams, but the explicit part is only when I'm somebody else and usually, my pink samurai persona storms in and changes the dream to something more quaint.

[Guest]

Well I do have sex dreams occasionally but they're generally just really frustrating because I can never orgasm in them.

 

Anyway, my favourite dreams are the ones where there's some sort of interesting plot happening, like I'm an alien disguised as a cat on a mission to save the galaxy from a mysterious evil with my loyal and devoted sidekick there to protect me and carry me around and basically do all the work, bonus if there's a chance to eat lots of guilt free chocolate! 

 

I kind of feel like people who say sex dreams are the best must have incredibly boring dreams. Like, seriously, have sex while your awake and save that dream time for having awesome adventures my dude!

[NickyTannock]

I've moved this thread from "Questions about Asexuality" to "Asexual Musings and Rantings".
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

[HonoraryJedi]

My favorite dreams are the ones that have an interesting coherent story which I can remember. Similar to what posters above have said about story-dreams. Once I was exploring caves with Darth Vader. Once my family and I were escaping a siege and climbed up to an island with dragons. That sort of thing.

 

I have had sexual dreams too, but those are always kind of uncomfortable. Not nightmarish, just uncomfortable. Kind of on the same level as those annoying mundane dreams where I am, for example, trying to find a decent public bathroom.

[NickyTannock]

@Eleee87 Welcome to AVEN!

 

I've never had a dream about sex.
But I'm a lucid dreamer, meaning I can usually control my dreams.
I'd say my best dreams are fantasy stories that have me in them but no one else that I know.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Totoro Cake (all edible),

http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/316981-totoro-cake

[Phalena]

I've only ever dreamed of being raped... ...

All the other things are usually a mix of info that I had picked-up over being awake that can be "deleted" or are things I'm worried about. But having these seemingly chaotic dreams help me getting closer to closure of certain things, so, yeah...

[Philip027]

I have occasional sexual dreams, but uhh... I rather hate them.  I don't feel like myself in the dream, which already feels quite uncomfortable enough, and then if I'm particularly unlucky I'll have a... reaction in the real world that always forces me awake to deal with a mess -_-

[Sinking_In]

I have very vivid dreams. Some are beautiful, some adventurous, some terrifying, but most all of them contain some sexual element (I'm a very sexual person).

My ultimate dream would be making a great escape to a new world, having the power of flight and surrounded by beautiful women. Basically I'd be Captain Kirk with the power of Superman. Yeah. That would be awesome.

[Laplace]

I don’t really mind most sexual dreams cause they are usually not traumatizing. They’re at least better than all the nightmares I get about having to fight for my life.

 

I feel like I just want to have no dreams all the time cause I get depressed when I wake up after a happy dream. Like, why can’t I just go back there 😭☹️? I don’t want to face reality 😅.

[Zagadka]

I can't recall ever having a sexual dream. I don't remember most of my dreams, though (because of meds, my dreaming habits have changed a lot, between being very vivid and not having them at all). Though for some reason, a lot of my dreams are seen through the lens of a video game, or at least a computer. It is weird. Anyway, not alone in not having those kinds of dreams.

[R_1]

I don't remember when was the last time I had a sexual dream. Must be years ago.

 

4 hours ago, Philip027 said:

I have occasional sexual dreams, but uhh... I rather hate them.  I don't feel like myself in the dream, which already feels quite uncomfortable enough, and then if I'm particularly unlucky I'll have a... reaction in the real world that always forces me awake to deal with a mess

You hate them or rather hate them?

[Philip027]

The "rather" was just for emphasis, so yes, I hate them.

[DryRain]

I've had dreams with extreme intimacy with someone else but never (based on what I remember) have I had sex in a dream.

[ben8884]

For me, the ideal dream is me living somewhere nice with the woman I love (in real life she doesn't love me back hence this is a dream). No sex required but lots of cuddling. 

In terms of actual dreams I have had some involve sex, some are sexual by nature and most aren't. 

[Salmiakki]

My favorite dreams are the ones where I’m together with my crush… so the absolute best dream that I could have would be a dream where I’m dating my crush. We wouldn’t do anything sexual. We would just… be together. It would be like, cute and sweet. Something that would really make my heart flutter. Flirting, talking, teasing, touching, kissing, cuddling, hugging, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes…  

[cp1213]

The closest to a sex dream I would get was when a random "hot" boy undressed himself and I asked him to wear his clothes on because I am not interested xD. However, I do have romantic dreams where I kissed my guy friends who I don't have a crush on but I seemed to liked them in my dream for some reason. It was really sweet and made me feel all tingly and warm inside :3. 

 

[Keth]

I had a random dream about a girl kissing me. I don't remember her being hot or cute, just feeling of kissing. It was magical. Didn't turn me on tho. But it did make my heart skip a few beats. 

 

[aaa123]

I've had dreams of having sex with someone even though I'm aroace. I just masturbate a lot, I guess. I always just wake up kind of confused or unsure.

My favorite dreams to have is actually where I'm on an adventure or if there's something scary happening. Those are always the fun ones. I write my dreams down and they're fun to read back on later.

[WanderingKate]

I definitely don't have sexual or romantic dreams and even if I did I don't think I would consider them very exciting. I've only had one sexual dream in my entire life...it was pretty uninteresting to say the least. 

The best dream I ever had was just me on an exotic vacation, by myself. It was peaceful, I was swimming, the water was warm and everything surrounding me was beautiful. Also dreaming about hugging adorable animals is always fun

 

[Strange But Not a Stranger]

I've had a few sexual dreams. I guess it was basically me fantasizing about this particular person while I was asleep. No surprises in the dreams. I kinda enjoyed them to be honest.

The best dream I ever had... gee, I don't know. They're too weird to explain anyway.

[An Experience]

One time I had this dream about a girl I thought was really pretty at the time who I was aesthetically attracted to. She talked to me and we became really good friends who confided in each other and helped each other become better people and sometimes we would dance together or like cuddle.. it was nice 

[MaladaptiveDaydreamer]

I think this is an interesting topic. For me, I like sex as long as I'm not personally involved, or I'm the only person involved. (Aegosexual, if you want a label for it.) Interestingly, my dreams reflect this. I have a ton of nonsexual dreams about different crazy things happening, usually with me as a protagonist. While I dream most nights (sometimes several dreams per night), I've only had a handful of sexual dreams. The only one that involved me, I woke up physically sick to my stomach and very disturbed. The others were quite enjoyable and basically was like me watching porn, except I wasn't physically in the dream at all. It's kind of hard to explain, but for instance a couple weeks ago I was having a dream about an original cast of super heroes on a mission, and at the end of the dream one of them went into a gas station to buy something and ended up hooking up with the cashier. It was super random but very explicit, and I woke up feeling really fuzzy and warm, and stayed in bed for a while thinking about it because it was really hot. (Also they were both men, and I'm a woman, so in no way was I imagining myself in that scenario.)

 

I would probably consider that to be one of my favorite dreams (because it was really interesting the whole time and ended in hot sex I wasn't involved in), but if I could control my dreams they would ideally involve me eating brownies and hanging out with cats. Maybe a friendly tiger. I think that would be cool.

 

In fact, the one time I can recall being aware I was dreaming and could do whatever I wanted, I started to search for brownies and woke up disappointed because I didn't get to eat them before I woke up XD

[Janus the Fox]

I rarely dream at all or that memory recall for dreams are non-existing, don’t have any sex or romantic dreams, content related to the SO neither.

[RenalWaldo]

Best dreams:  Dreams about exploring Koholint Usland to awaken the Wind Fish.

 

Worst dreams:  Dreams about drowning in oil.

[Skycaptain]

Definitely asexual dreams. I never dream about anything other than fully clothed people, whether in action movie dreams (yays, wish I had more of them) work dreams (ugh), dreams involving people I know, anything, sexy dreams don't happen 

[Hydrolysis]

The warmest dreams I've had were falling in love with a stranger who really cared for me and didn't expect anything from me or have an ulterior motive. I enjoy those a lot. They are so so rare for me though. Most of my dreams are things that are psychologically unsettling to me. You know those sort of dreams that not everyone would find unsettling but it speaks to a very specific fear of yours? The WORST dreams I've had were flashback trauma dreams. Usually it will be half of a flashback with extra added fears that make it even worse than it originally was.

Most of the sexual dreams I have are me leaving right before the sex happens, which pretty much echoes how I feel towards me engaging in sex in the waking world. I have had some sexual dreams that were pleasant but it was usually about a stranger or someone who's face I couldn't see and it was more about them making me feel safe, which I often don't feel with anyone irl.