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And sometimes you know you’re wrong and you do the thing anyway.

 

I’m wired to never see certainty, only the infinite grey area that might or might not be true.

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7 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

And sometimes you know you’re wrong and you do the thing anyway.

 

I’m wired to never see certainty, only the infinite grey area that might or might not be true.

Oh, I'm the queen of bad decisions with good intentions.  Also the queen of just bad decisions.  I have terrible impulse control.  I'm trying really hard to change that, but old habits die hard.

 

I think we all want stability and some semblance of certainty.  Though I actually like living in the grey.  Makes room for change.  Means you're not locked into anything forever.  Gotta just ride that wave of life and see where it takes me.

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35 minutes ago, Serran said:

Hopefully. Maybe after she finishes transition so she can wear the dress she wants! 

It can feel so sloooooow, and I'm going in the "fast" direction! 😓

 

My mom didn't have a "real wedding" so she really wanted to help with mine so I guess that was cool. It wasn't too expensive or fancy, but a somewhat formal sort of thing. I think I feel/felt uncomfortable with not being somewhat formal about it. A lot of attendees from the online community we met in!  Online people really exist!! ;) IIRC a pair of them met each other IRL and dated after for a time, dunno what happened after (people drifted apart).

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Just now, anisotrophic said:

It can feel so sloooooow, and I'm going in the "fast" direction! 😓

Yeah... I mean she is very feminine looking already (I would kill to look as good in a skin tight dress... nice hips, curved waist, flat stomach), even without hormones. But, the social being out thing is a big issue. 

 

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I get ridiculous over the top fabrication orders for weddings at work that cost thousands of dollars and literally will be thrown out afterwards.  Blows my mind.

 

Spoiler
Spoiler

acrylic-seating-chart-calligraphy-seatin

Look at this.  We made several of these.  Each seemingly bigger than the last.  The biggest one was like 8 feet tall.  It's a seating chart by the way.  So, there's literally no reason to keep it afterward.

 

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AceMissBehaving

I always wish I had the amount of money required to just throw it away like that, but then wouldn’t throw it away.

 

I once worked at a bridal expo for a friend, and the organizers stated that they expect the average attendee to spend between $30,000 to $60,000 or more on their weddings. It blew my mind 

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1 hour ago, AceMissBehaving said:

I always wish I had the amount of money required to just throw it away like that, but then wouldn’t throw it away.

 

I once worked at a bridal expo for a friend, and the organizers stated that they expect the average attendee to spend between $30,000 to $60,000 or more on their weddings. It blew my mind 

Oh yeah, it's really easy to blow that kind of money on a wedding.  My second wedding was on the expensive side.  Never again.  If I get married again, I'll happily do it in a ditch.  I don't even care.

 

One of my closest friends got married 4 years ago at Disneyland.  That was an insane wedding....and expensive for everyone.  Myself included.  I had to take out a loan in order to pay for the trip for myself and my family.  I mean, it was a bitchin' wedding.  Star Wars themed but still super high end and classy as hell.  Also, a week of theme park.  I don't even want to know how much they paid for that wedding.  They even managed to get amazimg Star Wars props for the reception because they know people in the industry.  I'll try to find a few pics....

 

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Spoiler

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Spoiler

16-05-05-09-34-18-652-deco-1.jpg

 

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AceMissBehaving
33 minutes ago, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

Oh yeah, it's really easy to blow that kind of money on a wedding.  My second wedding was on the expensive side.  Never again.  If I get married again, I'll happily do it in a ditch.  I don't even care.

 

One of my closest friends got married 4 years ago at Disneyland.  That was an insane wedding....and expensive for everyone.  Myself included.  I had to take out a loan in order to pay for the trip for myself and my family.  I mean, it was a bitchin' wedding.  Star Wars themed but still super high end and classy as hell.  Also, a week of theme park.  I don't even want to know how much they paid for that wedding.  They even managed to get amazimg Star Wars props for the reception because they know people in the industry.  I'll try to find a few pics....

 

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Wow!!!!

 

I got married at a justice of the peace office with just a few members of each of our families as witnesses. I used to regret not getting the big fancy wedding dress etc,  but later found ways to get paid to wear big dresses, and that gave me peace.

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1 hour ago, AceMissBehaving said:

I always wish I had the amount of money required to just throw it away like that, but then wouldn’t throw it away.

 

I once worked at a bridal expo for a friend, and the organizers stated that they expect the average attendee to spend between $30,000 to $60,000 or more on their weddings. It blew my mind 

I know! I spent $1500 for mine which was bad enough. :lol:

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My wedding was about as bare bones as it could have been (short 10 minute "ceremony" + paper signing at the notary's office) and that still cost somewhere in the realm of $500 Canadian, which for us was still quite a lot of money.

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A friend of mine got married on a Monday as in terms of cost, it was a lot cheaper than other days of the week (but the next day was st. Patrick's day so it was a public holiday) 

 

I did refuse an invite before to a wedding because of logistics i.e.i couldn't be bother going. It was in the most northern reaches of donegal* and I got invite a month before. I wasn't even aware the guy got engaged. Actually wasn't aware he was in a relationship

 

*it wasn't the most northern part, but it did bring to mind a quote from Alan Warner's the stars in the bright sky (the sequel to his brilliant the sopranos). I don' t agree with some of the language so I'll Spoiler it

 

Spoiler

"no, it's in Southern Ireland not Northern ireland; but Malin Peninsula, though it's in Southern Ireland, is north of Northern Ireland

 

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Masturbation is harder for me to wrap my mind around than actual partnered sex.  I'm told that's kind of odd.

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1 hour ago, iff said:

I did refuse an invite before to a wedding because of logistics

I’ve done that a few times for “destination” weddings.

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While I'm not going to lie and say you don't look any older, I definitely wouldn't say it's by 20 years.

 

The SMG vibe I was getting before is definitely gone here, though :lol:  I think maybe the more dated look of the older photo helped...

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9 hours ago, CBC said:

Kind of, yeah. What aspect is difficult to wrap your mind around?

I just don't understand masturbation, at all.  At least partnered sex you can make  possibly make a loved one very happy, even if you yourself don't get much from sex.  Masturbation for seems... useless.  Not even an intimate experience sharing emotions with a loved one.  Just mindless groping for no reason.  

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On 1/19/2020 at 5:34 PM, AceMissBehaving said:

I always wish I had the amount of money required to just throw it away like that, but then wouldn’t throw it away.

 

I once worked at a bridal expo for a friend, and the organizers stated that they expect the average attendee to spend between $30,000 to $60,000 or more on their weddings. It blew my mind 

I’m so glad I got dumped. Is that what they cost?

would rather spend it on a donut cake. (think I might get one for my birthday next month)

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On 1/19/2020 at 5:34 PM, AceMissBehaving said:

I always wish I had the amount of money required to just throw it away like that, but then wouldn’t throw it away.

 

I once worked at a bridal expo for a friend, and the organizers stated that they expect the average attendee to spend between $30,000 to $60,000 or more on their weddings. It blew my mind 

I’m so glad I got dumped. Is that what they cost?

would rather spend it on a donut cake. (think I might get one for my birthday next month)

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I’ve never understood that sort of thing. It’s cloth that’s cut and stitched to make a dress. So why does it cost 20k and the local supermarket sells the same thing for 20 ? 
same with paintings. Someone buys a canvas painting that to me looks like someone’s just used it to clean their paint brushes but it sells for thousands. 
just seems total vanity to me 

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6 minutes ago, CBC said:

So much of it seems like a waste to me, or obnoxious. If I ever had a wedding where I actually wanted to invite a handful of friends and family to come celebrate in some way, it would be so low-key. Like backyard barbecue sort of deal. Bring some alcohol and come hang out and please don't make a big emotional fuss and no we don't need gifts and yes a T-shirt and jeans are fine attire. That's about as fancy as I would get and it would just be an excuse to spend some time with favourite people. No showy bullshit. That's my idea of a fun social event and I'd still be exhausted afterwards.

Oh can I come? Sounds good. Not the stage show that most people seem to act badly in. 

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AceMissBehaving
29 minutes ago, Halffull said:

I’m so glad I got dumped. Is that what they cost?

would rather spend it on a donut cake. (think I might get one for my birthday next month)

 

22 minutes ago, CBC said:

They only cost that much if you're pretentious, self-centred and wasteful enough to go for that sort of thing.

Yup, and that’s why my wedding cost maybe around $200

 

18 minutes ago, Halffull said:

I’ve never understood that sort of thing. It’s cloth that’s cut and stitched to make a dress. So why does it cost 20k and the local supermarket sells the same thing for 20 ? 
same with paintings. Someone buys a canvas painting that to me looks like someone’s just used it to clean their paint brushes but it sells for thousands. 
just seems total vanity to me 

As someone who works in clothing design and manufacture I can say that the cost of making a wedding dress is genuinely huge. The fabrics are delicate, specialty and expensive, and the quantity needed is large. The labor costs are high too, pattern drafting, hand extensive hand finishing, as well as custom tailoring, and the fact you are typically using the services of particularly skilled people. The costs are high, but honestly the profits aren’t what most people imagine them to be.

 

The painting thing too, it takes a lot to get to the point where you can make and sell artwork (I originally studied fine art). People really don’t put the value they should in creative work if I’m honest. 

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Just now, AceMissBehaving said:

 

Yup, and that’s why my wedding cost maybe around $200

 

As someone who works in clothing design and manufacture I can say that the cost of making a wedding dress is genuinely huge. The fabrics are delicate, specialty and expensive, and the quantity needed is large. The labor costs are high too, pattern drafting, hand extensive hand finishing, as well as custom tailoring, and the fact you are typically using the services of particularly skilled people. The costs are high, but honestly the profits aren’t what most people imagine them to be.

So it’s high quality cloth? What for??? It’s not like it’s got to last a long time. 
stuck with jeans, can wear them afterwards too 👍

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Can you order a wedding dress online? If so then order it a few days before the wedding, wear it to the stage show then return it afterwards and get your money back 

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AceMissBehaving
1 minute ago, Halffull said:

So it’s high quality cloth? What for??? It’s not like it’s got to last a long time. 
stuck with jeans, can wear them afterwards too 👍

It has to have a good finish and drape, which requires a higher level of tech to get, and higher quality fibers. It has to be light and comfortable to wear despite there being  a lot of it. It has wear well all day, not wrinkle etc, it has to breath. 

 

There is something to be said for festivities as a way to break up the monotony of daily life, which is why we have holidays etc. Such things bring a tangible benefit to people’s happiness and mental health when done responsibly. 
 

You can also re-use the fabric from a dress for other things down the line. It’s usually white, and often a fabric that takes dye. I’ve known people make multiple items of clothing out of their wedding dress later down the line.

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AceMissBehaving
7 minutes ago, Halffull said:

Can you order a wedding dress online? If so then order it a few days before the wedding, wear it to the stage show then return it afterwards and get your money back 

So steal labor from people doing honest work?

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1 minute ago, AceMissBehaving said:

It has to have a good finish and drape, which requires a higher level of tech to get, and higher quality fibers. It has to be light and comfortable to wear despite there being  a lot of it. It has wear well all day, not wrinkle etc, it has to breath. 

 

There is something to be said for festivities as a way to break up the monotony of daily life, which is why we have holidays etc. Such things bring a tangible benefit to people’s happiness and mental health when done responsibly. 
 

You can also re-use the fabric from a dress for other things down the line. It’s usually white, and often a fabric that takes dye. I’ve known people make multiple items of clothing out of their wedding dress later down the line.

Can always use it as a table cloth 

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1 minute ago, AceMissBehaving said:

So steal labor from people doing honest work?

Well if they’re happy to make it, and they’re happy to give a refund then I’m happy to let them. Everyone is happy so what’s the problem? 

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AceMissBehaving
Just now, Halffull said:

Can always use it as a table cloth 

Not typically the best application for such delicate fabrics.

 

A person could sell the dress on after, making it available to people who couldn’t afford that kind of item bought new. 

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Just now, AceMissBehaving said:

Not typically the best application for such delicate fabrics.

 

A person could sell the dress on after, making it available to people who couldn’t afford that kind of item bought new. 

Great idea. I’ll sell on my old jeans 😂

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