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I'm sexual but...


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This is a thread for sexuals to debunk common misconceptions about themselves.  For example

 

Hi, I'm Kisa.  I'm sexual, but I haven't had sexual contact in over a year.  Right now I would prefer to have the chicken that my dad is cooking than sex with the person next door.

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I am sexual, but I have no intentions of having sex with my ace unless he WANTS it - which is not likely.

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I’m sexual but I have never wanted sex with a stranger.

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I'm sexual but I don't find people I don't know hot or sexually appealing at all

 

I'm sexual but I have sex for love, not lust

 

I'm sexual but I don't ever watch porn or read erotica or really even want the sexy scenes in movies/tv (I skip or watch my phone during)

 

 

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I'm sexual but I've never gotten aroused solely by looking at or thinking about someone who wasn't my partner. 

 

I'm sexual but I, like Kisa, tend to dislike graphic sexual descriptions (for me, pretty much across the board unless it's a specific and intentional conversation about sex). 

 

I'm sexual but very vanilla. 

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I am sexual, but it is rare for me to want to have sex with someone. I think a lot of people see sexuals as someone who wants sex. With whoever, however, interchangeable partners as objects. For me without emotion, sex is pointless. I'm super at giving myself climaxes. Don't need a partner for that.

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Just now, anamikanon said:

I'm super at giving myself climaxes. Don't need a partner for that.

😂😂

 

Right though?! Like I need to be dealing with a whole other human who will insist on talking and have preferences, when i could just... not. 

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1 minute ago, anamikanon said:

For me without emotion, sex is pointless. 

I don't even know how to orgasm without emotion involved. Like... I gotta be thinking of a person I care about (if solo) or be with a person I care about. Some rando in person or in porn is not gonna do anything but turn me right off. But, get my wife involved in any way? Fully into it, thanks ! 

 

My ex used to call sex with randoms just exercise. I don't get how it appeals. 

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15 minutes ago, CBC said:

I'm sexual but that whole thing where people's bodies randomly nag at them for sexual release in a very biologically-based sort of way (and this seems to be true for many asexuals as well) literally never happens to me. Which doesn't mean I don't masturbate, just that it's always a choice borne of "ok, that sounds like a good idea right now" OR I've been interacting with my partner and my body is... being responsive, lol. And (TMI?), I've done it multiple times in a day sometimes, for either or both of those reasons, so I'm not saying that means it's super infrequent as a result of my body never feeling that urge all on its own out of the blue. But it definitely makes me feel like... cannot relate... when asexuals come on here and talk about how much they dislike having to masturbate, even feel repulsed by it, but they're really driven by bodily urges so they can't just not bother. If I was asexual and hated masturbating, didn't find it enjoyable at all, it didn't feel good physically, and of course I had no partner to whom I tied my desire and libido, I could just never do it and that would be that. (Which is not to say that I don't believe those aces! Definitely do.)

 

Also yeah, I've never become physically aroused due to the appearance of a stranger. And I don't recall ever finding a stranger attractive and immediately jumping to imagining sex with them, either. I just... I get butterflies in my stomach, act like a nervous dork, and that's kind of it. I don't think about sex with people I don't know. I don't even think about kissing them.

Haha yeah I don't get that either. I like orgasms but if I don't get it... isn't that big a deal. I just move on to doing something else. Never felt a need for release. 

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Just now, CBC said:

Oh lol, since Skullz edited something else into her post...

 

Yes, thank you for this trait haha. I'm not sure we would work too well if that wasn't the case. My brain just doesn't really get... kinky or whatever. 🤷🏼‍♀️

 

(Of important note: vanilla =/= boring. 😎)

I like both kink and vanilla, or kinky vanilla swirl. 

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59 minutes ago, Kisa needs a coffee said:

This is a thread for sexuals to debunk common misconceptions about themselves.  For example

 

Hi, I'm Kisa.  I'm sexual, but I haven't had sexual contact in over a year.  Right now I would prefer to have the chicken that my dad is cooking than sex with the person next door.

There, finally, something I have in common with a sexual person.  I'd rather have a chicken dinner than sex, too.  :)

 

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8 minutes ago, Kisa needs a coffee said:

I'm sexual but I prefer oral.  

 

10 minutes ago, Serran said:

Hands are so much more versatile than other body parts. 

I can't choose. 

FfAk.gif

 

16 minutes ago, CBC said:

Of important note: vanilla =/= boring. 😎

THANK YOU YES. It's definitely not this sort of thing... 

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5137997

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Just now, CBC said:

 

 

Vanilla doesn't have to mean hetero-style missionary position sex, and it also doesn't have to mean it's gentle, sweet... and kinda boring, haha. Gentle and sweet are for cuddling; sex that isn't physically intense mostly seems like a waste of time to me.

And kink can be sweet and gentle. I've had some pretty gentle not that intense sexual sessions in kink. 😛 So doesn't have much to do with kink or vanilla as much as what people prefer doing. 

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I'm a sexual, but I've never felt attraction for ANYONE without meeting their brain first. No first sight anything for me. Eye candy gets aesthetic appreciation without the slightest interest in sex.OTOH, I can have a crush on someone by watching their YouTube channel - and they don't even have to look super handsome or anything. Just be super knowledgeable when they open their mouths. No pressure, huh?

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RoseGoesToYale
1 hour ago, CBC said:

that whole thing where people's bodies randomly nag at them for sexual release in a very biologically-based sort of way (and this seems to be true for many asexuals as well) literally never happens to me. Which doesn't mean I don't masturbate, just that it's always a choice borne of "ok, that sounds like a good idea right now"

Omg literally this. I masturbate, but there's no hormones-taking-body-hostage-with-a-penknife like "Listen up, if you don't do something right now, the adrenal glands get it!" kind of thing.

 

Y'know, after reading this thread, I think I might not be asexual at all. 😂

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1 hour ago, skullery said:

Right though?! Like I need to be dealing with a whole other human who will insist on talking and have preferences, when i could just... not. 

This was often my reasoning for not pursuing sex before I figured out I'm asexual. Talking to people was too much effort and always a bit awkward or dorky, and all the times I did try it just had no payoff for me. But I guess for sexual people it must be worth it at least some of the time. :P

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6 minutes ago, CBC said:

Exactly, yeah.

 

I find the word "horny" confusing as a result. It's too vague. Am I ever "horny" in the sense that I'm thinking about sex a lot? Uh, yes. 😂 Am I "horny" in that I've been interacting with my partner online or in person and I'm physically aroused and want to masturbate or have sex as a result? Definitely. Am I "horny" in that my body is like "OH MY GOD I KNOW WE'RE GROCERY SHOPPING AT THE MOMENT BUT I AM GOING TO EXPLODE WITH BIOLOGICALLY-BASED FRUSTRATION IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME AN ORGASM ASAP!"? Nope.

I dunno, those bell peppers are kinda sexy 

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Interesting thread. Thanks, everyone, for sharing your personal experiences.

 

(You meant for asexuals to read this, too, right? I hope I didn't accidently wander into what might've been meant to be some sort of private meeting/discussion for sexuals.)

 

 

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Just now, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Interesting thread. Thanks, everyone, for sharing your personal experiences.

 

(You meant for asexuals to read this, too, right? I hope I didn't accidently wander into what was meant to be a sort of private meeting/discussion for sexuals.)

 

 

No please do!  I started this thread because there are a lot of misconceptions by aces about what sexuals experience.

 

Also I forgot who mods this forum but can this be stickied?

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2 minutes ago, Kisa needs a coffee said:

No please do!  I started this thread because there are a lot of misconceptions by aces about what sexuals experience.

 

Also I forgot who mods this forum but can this be stickied?

@iff does

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