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Confusion in general


Vixxen

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Hey so for around two years now, I’ve felt more or less asexual.

 

I know I’m not sexually attracted to men, and I’m pretty sure I’m not sexually attracted to women, but honestly I don’t know how to tell if I dont know what sexual attraction even is! And then I go thinking, if I experienced it, wouldn't I know? And that sort of goes the same for romantic attraction. I had a huge crush on this one guy for half a year, and I don’t think I was making it up like some of the crushes before. But now I can’t even stand the thought of romantic closeness with anyone. I feel like I could be aromantic, but that wouldn’t explain the crush. It takes me a while of getting to know someone before developing one, so maybe I’m just not close enough with anyone yet.

 

Also, sometimes there are pretty girls, but I don’t know what in the world I feel when I see them. So I was thinking I could be biromantic, but when I feel like I could get a crush on one, I get super uncomfortable and try to avoid them at all costs. So really, I just have no idea what’s going on with me, and Id really appreciate any and all advice you could give me. 

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Hi, I hope I can help you a bit. You might be somewhere in the gray-romantic area. That means, you are mostly aromantic, but there are rare exceptions to this where you can experience romantic attraction. There is also demi-romantic (which is part of gray-romantic) which means that you have to know the other person for a longer time before you can experience romantic attraction.

 

Regarding sexual attraction I can only say this seems to be some kind of force that makes people to want and/or seek sexual actions. If you don't have this towards other people it's a good sign you might be asexual.

 

And I can tell you it's ok to be confused, many people have been in their lives, including me.

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@mace_

That's probably the best definition I've seen for sexual attraction. Wow.

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How old are you? Between the ages of 12 and 17, I experienced what I thought were crushes on a handful of guys, but looking back I realize it was just aesthetic attraction, slightly more intense than usual because of hormones. I didn't desire a romantic relationship with these guys, let alone anything further than that.

 

It took me a long time to understand this. Even though I always knew I was aromantic, I struggled to identify as ace because of those crushes. I thought I was bisexual, because I experience aesthetic attraction towards both men and women.

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/24/2019 at 2:22 AM, mace_ said:

Hi, I hope I can help you a bit. You might be somewhere in the gray-romantic area. That means, you are mostly aromantic, but there are rare exceptions to this where you can experience romantic attraction. There is also demi-romantic (which is part of gray-romantic) which means that you have to know the other person for a longer time before you can experience romantic attraction.

 

Regarding sexual attraction I can only say this seems to be some kind of force that makes people to want and/or seek sexual actions. If you don't have this towards other people it's a good sign you might be asexual.

 

And I can tell you it's ok to be confused, many people have been in their lives, including me.

That makes sense. I’ve been thinking lately that I could be gray romantic. Also though, I think I somehow twisted it in my head to think that allosexual people are way more sexual thinking than they actually are, which only confused me more. The more I think about it, the more confused I get, but I think I can still confidently say I’m ace. Thank you very much for your insight and I hope you have a lovely day! 

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On 9/24/2019 at 6:48 AM, maybeimamazed said:

How old are you? Between the ages of 12 and 17, I experienced what I thought were crushes on a handful of guys, but looking back I realize it was just aesthetic attraction, slightly more intense than usual because of hormones. I didn't desire a romantic relationship with these guys, let alone anything further than that.

 

It took me a long time to understand this. Even though I always knew I was aromantic, I struggled to identify as ace because of those crushes. I thought I was bisexual, because I experience aesthetic attraction towards both men and women.

I’m within that age range, so maybe I was feeling what you were feeling. Although, I’m not sure those crushes were just aesthetically based because I actively wanted to spend time alone them and was jealous and sad when they started dating other people. I’m really just kinda confused about romance still but this did help me some and I’m very happy you commented trying to help out. Thank you so much and have an awesome day! 

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