Is there a name for my specific sexuality?

[orphan_account]

For a while I’ve told people I’m bisexual, it was simple, easy to explain, and fit somewhat with who I was. But recently I came across the term “demisexual”, which fits closer than bisexual does. Except there are a few things different from me being completely demisexual; whenever I picture myself in a relationship I can’t see it being with anyone other than someone I’d previously bonded with (as would most demisexuals), If someone I barely knew asked me out I’d say no (or maybe get to know them better first). However on the other hand, I am completely open to the idea of one-night-stands. The prospect of not seeing that person again makes it safe to me, since it isn’t a relationship right? I’m not sure if that detail makes me unqualified for demisexuality or not. Another thing I’m not sure is worth mentioning, I’m sexually & romantically attracted to males but only romantically attracted to females; is this a thing? Do other people have this? Is there a name for it? Any help would be appreciated, ^ ^

[NerdyBirder]

As far as labels, you can't really be "disqualified" from any label that you feel fits you. Each label means something different for each person and we only use labels to help others understand our orientation/attractions. If you feel that demisexual is a closer fit for you than bisexual then go for it and start using it.  You can always change or alter which label you use because it is something that only you can decide on; no one else can really tell you what your label is, they can suggest labels but it is really your choice as to which one you feel is right.

[crazy ace]

34 minutes ago, Kyntak said:

I’m sexually & romantically attracted to males but only romantically attracted to females; is this a thing?

As far as I know, though it's less common among sexuals, it is certainly a thing.

[SithLord]

Sounds like a common sexual thing to me. You don't have to be open to have relationships with just anybody. And anyway, that would be demi-romantic rather than demi-sexual. Demisexuals feel sexual attraction only to those they've bonded with, and I'm pretty sure wouldn't be into one-night stands since they wouldn't be sexuallt attracted to their partners. 

 

If I were to give you a label, which you may or not agree with so take it or leave it, I'd say you were androsexual, demi-biromantic. 

Not sure your gender, so I used andro- to represent the male attraction. 

[everywhere and nowhere]

It's fully possible to be bisexual and demisexual at the same time. "Bisexual" describes to whom a person is attracted, "demisexual" describes the pattern of attraction.

[bare_trees]

You could say you're bidemisexual.  The only thing about the what you said about one-night stands is that demisexual people don't experience sexual attraction until they've formed a strong emotional bond.  That doesn't mean a demisexual person couldn't have one-night stands, particularly if it's not for sexual gratification but a human connection without the pressure of having to enter into a relationship.  But take this with a grain of salt, because as others said, it's up to you what you feel most comfortable identifying as.

[kiaroskuro]

On 9/22/2019 at 12:44 AM, SithGirl said:

If I were to give you a label, which you may or not agree with so take it or leave it, I'd say you were androsexual, demi-biromantic.

Going by what the OP wrote, I think they could be demi-androsexual and biromantic. I don't know, that seems a bit more fitting.

@Kyntak Even though it seems to be rather uncommon, yes, this type of split attraction does exist. I'm currently thinking about a similarly confusing label for myself, but ugh. Labels.

 

On 9/22/2019 at 2:29 AM, bare_trees said:

But take this with a grain of salt, because as others said, it's up to you what you feel most comfortable identifying as.

^ Yup.

[SithLord]

2 hours ago, kiaroskuro said:

Going by what the OP wrote, I think they could be demi-androsexual and biromantic. I don't know, that seems a bit more fitting.

The reason I disagree with that is because the OP writes "whenever I picture myself in a relationship I can’t see it being with anyone other than someone I’d previously bonded with" NOT that they can't imagining having sex with individuals without that bond. In fact, OP writes they're fine with one-night stands, and that strikes me as odd for a demi-sexual since demi-sexual would mean unable to be sexually attracted to someone without a bond. They specify "relationship" which would be romantic, and not sexual. 

 

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but I view demisexual as being "a person who doesn't experience sexual attraction/desire with others until an emotional bond is formed". One-night stands kind of break that mold. 

[Snow in the background]

Hello.

On 9/22/2019 at 1:02 AM, Kyntak said:

Another thing I’m not sure is worth mentioning, I’m sexually & romantically attracted to males but only romantically attracted to females; is this a thing? Do other people have this? Is there a name for it? Any help would be appreciated, ^ ^

In regards to your statement quoted above, this sure is a thing. People can be sexually attracted to one gender and romantically attracted to another gender. Multiple combinations should be possible. (Ex. To be pansexual but only romantically attracted to women.)

 

When it comes to the other things that you've mentioned... I do not what to say... Because you see, this quote basically sums it up:

On 9/22/2019 at 3:29 AM, bare_trees said:

You could say you're bidemisexual.  The only thing about the what you said about one-night stands is that demisexual people don't experience sexual attraction until they've formed a strong emotional bond. 

And I pretty much agree with @SithGirl:

On 9/27/2019 at 1:58 AM, SithGirl said:

The reason I disagree with that is because the OP writes "whenever I picture myself in a relationship I can’t see it being with anyone other than someone I’d previously bonded with" NOT that they can't imagining having sex with individuals without that bond. In fact, OP writes they're fine with one-night stands, and that strikes me as odd for a demi-sexual since demi-sexual would mean unable to be sexually attracted to someone without a bond. They specify "relationship" which would be romantic, and not sexual. 

 

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but I view demisexual as being "a person who doesn't experience sexual attraction/desire with others until an emotional bond is formed". One-night stands kind of break that mold. 

Reality is beyond the words we use to describe it. However, your statement seems incompatible with the definition of demi-sexuality. Or maybe the definition is wrong... Maybe you are grey demi-sexual... (Is that even a thing???).

 

So... All in all, I would say that you are demi-biromantic and androsexual (I don't know your gender. For example, if you're a woman, that will make you heterosexual.)