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How does one explain this?


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I don’t know how to explain this to people and I’m trying my best to. Hopefully you guys could help me out?

 

I identify as a heteromantic asexual. I have always known this all my life, but this past year I started “coming out” to people. Most of my friends don’t understand it, since I recently been exploring what sex means to me. I’m pretty much a late bloomer so I never really had the chance to figure it out at a young age because I grew up in a catholic house hold. Personally, I always thought people had sex so they could procreate. It never occurred to me that people do it for fun. They do it so the good chemicals in their brain get fired and they can feel good about themselves. I still think that is true to this day. I’m trying to get more sexual experience just because I want to learn more about it and I’m curious. I try to tell my friends about this but they get confused. They would tell me how you could do something sexual with someone if you are asexual. I know sexual attraction and sexual behavior are two different things. When I would try to explain that, they would get even more confused. I just dont know how to explain it in a way where they could understand.

 

my question is... how do I explain this in away where allies can understand it? Or does this not make any sense at all?? Idk i hope I’m not the only one who is like this 😅

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your input (if you chose to) and I hope you have a wonderful day 🖤

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You could try explaining it like how someone who is gay can have sex with the opposite sex but they are still gay. They are capable of having sex with the opposite sex but they aren't attracted to them. 

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I would describe it as intellectual curiosity. You're doing it to learn, not because you're driven to or because you think it's part of what you need for a healthy relationship. Just life experience to put under your belt.

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FerlynnGoldbeard

Honestly, I understand what it's like to be a sexual person on a fundamental level only, but I don't really know. I've never experienced it, so I don't understand in on an emotional level. I don't expect non aces to understand me anymore than I understand them. As long as we're all on the same page, I don't think it matters. 

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Maybe try another angle? Describe how you personally feel about sex and what you hope to get out of it, as best you can, and then specifically ask for their input. In their experience, does what you explained to them sound like what a "typical" sexual person would say and think about sex?

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