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Health — Why My Sexless Marriage Has Made Me Happier Than I’ve Ever Been


Homer

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Like many couples, when my wife and I first met, the sex was great. No, actually it was amazing. The best sex of my life.

 

But after a year and a half together, something changed. She no longer wanted to get it on. It was a fatal blow, or so it felt at the time.

 

"I just don’t feel like sex anymore," my then-girlfriend said to me.

Sep 17, 2019 — https://www.health.com/sex/sexless-marriage

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RoseGoesToYale

It's really not unusual for couples to have less sex or stop having it altogether. It's not necessarily the huge disaster media makes it out to be. My medical sociology professor told us that in history it was normal and expected for married couples to lose interest later on, for any number of reasons, but after the sexual revolution of the sixties people became expected to, as she said, "f*ck like rabbits until you die." I really think media places so much pressure on what it deems to be a "normal" amount of sexual activity that when people don't live up to it, they feel ashamed or guilty, like something's wrong with them or their relationship, and they panic trying to fix a problem that might not even be there. And they're insidious about it, too, making it sound like couples who have all the sex are trimmer, healthier, wealthier, and more spiritual. I'd love to see more media attention on couples that find intimacy in ways besides just sex.

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I guess I'm just not quite there, yet. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that I've spent a lifetime thoroughly enjoying learning how to be really good at something, only to end up with someone who just can't appreciate it, nor let me practice it. Like someone came in and painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel flat white, so we can just focus on the Mass. Maybe that's where the focus should be, but I know I'd miss looking up and seeing the paintings.

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Loved this article and wish more articles like that could be made more popular in the typical things that make headlines. But perhaps I am being pessimistic or at least I hope I am being pessimistic when I say I don't know when we'll see asexuality gain popularity in any world  whether health or entertainment.

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@Yuliyasa

I hope that it does become widely known and recognized by all media and medical professionals. I've just today talked about it with a coworker who has been having similar marriage problems. I've directed him to this site to possibly find helpful information. It takes time for 1) awareness, and 2) acceptance. I agree, there hasn't been a big enough push, but if each person can make one person aware and accepting of it, and that person does the same, and the person they reach does the same, it can spread to the point where media and medical professionals have to start paying attention.

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Awww, love…  :wub:  It so inspires!

Seems like they’ve been together for about eight years and able to resolve their differences. So happy for them!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow I really admire the allosexual partner she really gave her all to make her relationship work, most would call it quits there and then.

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