What is the most common view towards sex in the ace commuity?

[crazy ace]

On request from @uniQChick

[NickyTannock]

I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'Census Forum'.
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

[uniQChick]

Favourable, only with my beloved! 

[NickyTannock]

I was torn between repulsed and indifferent but chose indifferent.

[Guest]

Indifferent for most of the time.

[Zagadka]

Below indifferent but above repulsed? Chose indifferent. "Repulsed" is a strong word.

[A. Sterling]

Can you add a middle ground between repulsed and indifferent to the poll? 

[Acing It]

29 minutes ago, Zagadka said:

Below indifferent but above repulsed? Chose indifferent. "Repulsed" is a strong word.

I agree, but to balance things out I chose repulsed. I'm repulsed in the same way a heterosexual person would be repulsed about sex with someone of the same sex, I think.

[LeChat]

Do you mean "sex with another person" or masturbation?

 

For example, some aces have said they prefer masturbation than having sex with another person.

[BlueSpruce]

I'm repulsed by a lot of things but indifferent to some. I think it partly depends on the situation for me.

[Strifed]

Between repulsed and indifferent. If it's pertaining to me and my body (as in someone wanting to have sex with me or having a fantasy) I'm repulsed. I'm indifferent towards what anyone else wants to do towards other people though.... just don't tell me about it

[OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer]

It's true that repulsed is a strong word, but I feel very strongly about it. So I have no problem saying that I'm repulsed by sex.

[Guest]

Boring. 

[Zagadka]

6 minutes ago, KrysLost said:

Boring. 

That is a very good summary.

[Yuliyasa]

I picked indifferent cause that's how I mostly felt about sex for most of my life. Yet, it don't mean I had never felt repulsed or between repulsed and indifferent.

[everywhere and nowhere]

1 hour ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Do you mean "sex with another person" or masturbation?

 

For example, some aces have said they prefer masturbation than having sex with another person.

I thought we had already decided that autoeroticism doesn't count as "sex". Yes, it is a "sexual activity", but it isn't "sex". "Sex" must involve at least two people.

 

I voted "repulsed", even though I usually prefer identifying as "sex-averse". For me it means just that my repulsion isn't generalised. I don't have that "hearing about sex makes me sick" - no, I'm fine with sexual stuff as long as it doesn't involve myself. But for hypothetic sex with my own participation - no, "repulsed" is absolutely not "too strong a word". I'm absolutely not sex-indifferent, I feel quite terrified at the idea of personally having sex and cannot imagine anything which could make me change my mind.

And, to make it clear, I wouldn't want to. Even if it has the characteristics of a vicious circle - I'm sex-averse to the point of also feeling distressed by the idea of a potential future in which I could have sex.

I'm not "missing out". I'm the sole owner of my life and I'm the only one who can decide what I want to experience and what I don't.

[Zagadka]

I can elaborate a little more. Boring is a good word. I never felt a stronger emotional connection with my partner with full sex than I did with just cuddling or even holding hands. It was just mechanical.

 

The reason "repulsed" is too strong a word is that I was/am very comfortable with nudity, or holding a breast while cuddling or whatnot. The body or act was never really repulsive (though I never liked oral sex, either giving or receiving and genitals are just not attractive), but the act was just not something I wanted to do after experiencing it the first time (which was a "um, that was what all that is about? No thanks" moment).

 

Like a big, horrible, dirty chore. I'd much rather mow the lawns and weed the plants. And I do not enjoy those things in the least.

[GlamRocker]

I am a 100% total big fat NO on engaging in sexual activities. This makes me not indifferent, but I'm not actually repulsed. When people say, "sex repulsed" they mean you can't watch Game of Thrones without turning your head lol. I'm so comfortable with sexuality, as long as I'm not personally involved, that I appreciate what it does for others. I see romance in many sex scenes in movies and tv shows, for example. Not the kind of romance I would want to be involved in, just romance of a different kind, and I'm a big 'ol softy.

 

I guess I have to pick "between repulsed and indifferent," but I don't think it represents me well.

[tase]

My attitude toward sex in its totality is favorable, but actually doing the deed is a different animal

[NickyTannock]

I've moved two votes from 'indifferent' to 'between repulsed and indifferent' to account for myself and @Zagadka who said we were between before the option was added.

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

personally, i'm sex positive and think everyone should have the right to enjoy sex if they choose to. i'm not super into sex however. 

[everywhere and nowhere]

1 hour ago, tase said:

My attitude toward sex in its totality is favorable, but actually doing the deed is a different animal

 

48 minutes ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

personally, i'm sex positive and think everyone should have the right to enjoy sex if they choose to. i'm not super into sex however. 

Which is why I always tend to stress: personal and political views about sex are two different aspects. For me it's clear that this poll is asking about the former... This is also why I'm a bit of a terminology purist: I don't like it when "sex-neutral" is used to mean "sex-indifferent" and, particularly, "sex-positive" in the meaning "sex-favourable". Sex positivity is a very recognisable ideology, but it doesn't have to coincide with personal views about sex - quite a few aces are both sex-averse (or even sex-repulsed) and sex-positive. Sex neutrality (as in: "sex is neither good nor bad by itself") is too a needed stance. I mostly tend towards sex-neutral politically, but I'm personally much further on the "negative" side than "sex-indifferent".

It's just more clear if we assume that there are at least three points on the scale of political stances towards sex: sex-positive, sex-neutral and sex-negative;

and at least three points on the scale of personal attitudes about sex: sex-favourable, sex-indifferent and sex-averse/repulsed.

[Snao Cone]

5 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

personal and political views about sex are two different aspects

I'm working on something that explains this that I hope to put on the AVEN main site within the next month.

[everywhere and nowhere]

2 minutes ago, Snao van der Cone said:

I'm working on something that explains this that I hope to put on the AVEN main site within the next month.

I'd be happy to see it on the forum as well. I don't really visit the AVEN main site anymore (but I like the Asexual Agenda), but I hang out on the forum.

[Sally]

3 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

I'd be happy to see it on the forum as well. I don't really visit the AVEN main site anymore (but I like the Asexual Agenda), but I hang out on the forum.

Me, too.  

 

There are a number of issues/topics which can engender both personal and political views.  In a way, I think that that division or lack thereof defines whether you're conservative or liberal: conservatives seem not to feel a division, while liberals can experience a strong personal viewpoint and yet separate that from their political (i.e., for others) viewpoint.  

[everywhere and nowhere]

2 minutes ago, Sally said:

There are a number of issues/topics which can engender both personal and political views.  In a way, I think that that division or lack thereof defines whether you're conservative or liberal: conservatives seem not to feel a division, while liberals can experience a strong personal viewpoint and yet separate that from their political (i.e., for others) viewpoint.  

I'm not sure about it. I would rather say that, at least in case of sex, a lot of allosexual people don't realise that there are other attitudes about sex than just "desiring it", a lot of them also never consider their own political stance about sex and so they are to political stances about sex a bit like Mr. Jourdain to prose...

[Claire1983]

favorable in a general sense, but indifferent for myself

[everywhere and nowhere]

2 hours ago, GlamRocker said:

I am a 100% total big fat NO on engaging in sexual activities. This makes me not indifferent, but I'm not actually repulsed. When people say, "sex repulsed" they mean you can't watch Game of Thrones without turning your head lol. I'm so comfortable with sexuality, as long as I'm not personally involved, that I appreciate what it does for others. I see romance in many sex scenes in movies and tv shows, for example. Not the kind of romance I would want to be involved in, just romance of a different kind, and I'm a big 'ol softy.

 

I guess I have to pick "between repulsed and indifferent," but I don't think it represents me well.

It seems that we have had similar doubts and handled them differently (you can read my post above yours). For me choosing "sex-repulsed" without reservations is a means of stating that I fully reject the possibility of personally having sex.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Repulsed. I can deal with talking about it better than I used to, but the thought of actually being involved? Absolute 100% NOPE.

[Snao Cone]

1 hour ago, Nowhere Girl said:

It's just more clear if we assume that there are at least three points on the scale of political stances towards sex: sex-positive, sex-neutral and sex-negative;

and at least three points on the scale of personal attitudes about sex: sex-favourable, sex-indifferent and sex-averse/repulsed.

This is exactly what that page will say! I know points like this are made quite often on the forums by a number of us, so at least once they're easier to find on the main site we'll have something that can be found and linked to. That's the hope, at least.