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I need help with a character


just really tired

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just really tired

I'm writing something right now and one of my characters uses he/they pronouns. I live in a pretty secluded place and I don't know anyone who's nonbinary/genderqueer who might be able to help me and I really want to do my character justice as well as be accurate. I was just wondering if there's anyone who uses multiple pronouns who can help me understand what it's like, or if there are specific things to do or not do. Thanks!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don’t use multiple pronouns, but you might want to check out the forums on nanowrimo.org! It’s a lovely site that can help with all sorts of writing issues and questions. Good luck!

--a writer who also used nanowrimo 

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The experience varies from person to person. Some people use multiple pronouns because they have no preference for one over the other, but a lot of other people use multiple pronouns because they are more comfortable with either one or the other at different times. Some days your character might identify more as masculine, so he would like using he/him pronouns. Other days, there might be a disconnect between your character and the masculine identity, so he/him pronouns might make them uncomfortable.

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no-longer-in-use

I'm nonbinary and I use primarily he/him and they/them pronouns, and ey/em, one/one's, and it/its in certain spaces as well. Feel free to ask me any questions about my experiences with using multiple pronouns and/or being nonbinary. My only suggestion right off the bat is to decide whether your character switches between he/him and they/them pronouns or uses both simultaneously.

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In my case, I use they/them as the ''other/unclassified/does not reply" option, if that makes sense. Since it's the default pronoun for when you don't know one's gender, it doesn't imply anything gender-wise and thus can be used for everyone even non-gendered... you get my point. But I'm also okay with all other pronouns as long as the other person doesn't stick to just one set of pronouns, and is aware that they can't imply anything gendered about me - a bit like rolling pronouns, knowing every pronoun is ''wrong'' or ''inexact''. Then, I don't mind. My AGAB pronouns are still kinda sensitive because I'm so closeted, but I think that will abate with time and I'm used to them anyway. 

No pronouns and ungendered language are cool too, I guess. 

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