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Chl0eisn0tmyrealname

My Doctor Dismissed Asexuality

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Chl0eisn0tmyrealname

We were taking about my libido. Assumingly because he thinks it's either mental health or gyno related. He asked me if I've ever been told that im asexual. As in, diagnosed. I said 'no, it's more of a self identification, like being gay or...' So he asked a couple of questions about my experiences of sexual attraction and said 'when was the last time you were vulnerable/ in a position where you were going to have sex?' I said when i was with my ex, five years ago- and he said 'that long ago... so you wouldn't know then'. Perhaps because I was 15 at the time (living with my partner after 2 yrs)... He just refused to listen to any explanation. This is a reminder to all that health professionals are just like any other people and they will not always understand or be willing to. 

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uniQChick

You should have titled it "My Doctor Dismissed Asexuality in 5 minutes.” :lol:

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SithGirl

Jerk. 

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Member114264

What an terrible doctor.

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Sinking_In

Just because someone is a professional, doesn't mean they are always right. "Second opinions" are a thing for a reason.

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SkyenAutowegCaptain

That sucks *Huggles *

 

Trouble is that there seems to be a school of thought that asexuality is the null option, and only applies when everything else has been disproven. 

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allieakat

Hang on a minute, your doctor thinks that not having sex or being in a situation where sex is a possibility means you can't know if you are asexual or not?  "Thanks, I know myself well enough not to even go there" isn't good enough for him?

 

And what the fuck (profanity intended) does "vulnerability" have to do with being in a position to have sex?  That's some fucked-up patriarchal thinking at best and at worst close to rape-culture.

 

If I were you I would be tempted to write a letter to your doctor explaining that you are unhappy with the conversation and what from your point of view is wrong with his attitude.  And if you don't get a satisfactory reply to try to find a different doctor.

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Cheshire-Cat

From what you've written its hard to say he dismissed it. Lack of libido can be as a result of mental health or hormonal issues and generally this is what doctors will be looking at. Lack of exposure to these situations can also be through lack of relationships or choice, and at 15 many people may not feel comfortable, or want to have sex (even if they have been with their partner a while). I know it must feel frustrating to feel as if you were dismissed but I can also see their thinking, and why they may question it.

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Yoruka

Me: *sees title*

Also me:

9e133879c7299e52836fe116497bf041.jpg

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shyshy

Because asexuality was listed in the DMS until the most recent edition as a mental illness, alongside HSDD, some doctors who haven't caught up on their reading still think that it is a mental illness..... same goes for some psycotherapists ... they seem to think learning ends with the completion of their degrees unfortunatly 

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bookwormgirl

I made the mistake of telling a former primary once, and got a confused "So...you're into women???". 🙄 I haven't told my current primary in part because of this. Whether or not I'm having sex is medically relevant, but the why behind any of it isn't. 

 

That being said, I told my therapist early on as a test and she was fine with it (if anything she thinks I fixate on it too much). There are professionals out there who aren't dismissive. It's just that sometimes it's difficult to find them.

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