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Maybe I'm more asexual than I think I am....


AspieAlly613

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I recently answered a question that asked "At what age did you first feel sexual attraction?"  My response was essentially that I started noticing that girls with cute bodies were enjoyable to look at when I was around 13, but that I've never had the conscious desire to have sex with anyone, incorporating my religious and other beliefs that I shouldn't have sex before marriage, or engagement at the very earliest.

 

It then occurred to me from other people's responses that maybe most people have an in-between level/phase, and that the first level I described is just aesthetic attraction.  Is there some instinctive/hormonal level of sexual attraction that most people feel that is distinctly more specific/stronger than aesthetic attraction, but that would be overridden/suppressed by people with social reasons not to have sex?

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Until I am with someone I love (my wife) and the situation presents itself, I don't want sex. *shrug* I wouldn't have been able to tell if I was avoiding sexual situations due to religion. 

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I can't say much on the matter of sexual attraction, but I can say that I also find girls with cute bodies enjoyable to look at, though I'm more likely to notice cute faces/hair/clothes. I experience aesthetic attraction with extreme frequency (mostly toward women but also sometimes toward men) and what you've described seems similar to my own experience. I also grew up with the message that pre-marital sex is wrong and shouldn't be done, but by the time I was old enough to actually understand and have some interest in sexual activities (around 12/13 years old), I don't think I paid much heed to that. Then again, I never intended to actually do it with anyone (I was perfectly content to simply think about it and leave it at that), so I guess I just assumed that particular stipulation needn't apply to me.

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For me there's also the non-religious concern of sexual addiction to someone I'm not fully committed to yet.  (When you view someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.)

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6 hours ago, AspieAlly613 said:

For me there's also the non-religious concern of sexual addiction to someone I'm not fully committed to yet.  (When you view someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.)

That tends to come from emotional addiction rather than sexual. Which is possible to get even from supposedly innocent interaction (talking, hanging out). 

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