How far have you gone in a relationship? (Aces only)

[Zebrafinch]

I'm curious, mostly wondering what percentage of you would be missing from a very strict/behaviour based definition of asexuality. The responses are roughly in my order of seriousness.

[Toothlesss]

I'm putting been on one or two dates because it's somewhat accurate. Before I knew I was on the ace spectrum I did a few short outings with a good friend once or twice. I don't like calling them dates because there wasn't romance involved. 

[Strange-quark]

20 minutes ago, Zebrafinch said:

The responses are roughly in my order of seriousness.

S.t. not being asexual is the most serious one?  

Sorry, I know I'm being silly. But that's really all I have to contribute...

[LeChat]

Hmm, this poll will be interesting. Personally, I've gotten the impression from reading many members' experiences, that asexuals who've never had a relationship are rare, because it seems that most people--particularly adults--have been in at least one relationship.

 

Now that I think about, since the majority of members are in their teens and 20s, it's possible that the poll might appear to represent more aces who've never dated. However, that wouldn't necessarily mean that it's the same thing as an older adult who's never dated because among society, many adults seem to have dated, have relationships, children, etc. 

 

It's completely different.

[Lord Jade Cross]

.

[kenny.]

hmmm... never had one

[firewallflower]

Never had one.

[Guest]

I went on a couple of awkward dates and also made out. There was some hand holding too. 

[Strifed]

same as @Toothless I hung out with a couple of guys I was aesthetically attracted to and had squishes on, but wouldn't really call them dates because nothing happened lol. I always "NOPE!" out of first kisses/etc and would tell the guys we were "hanging out" but they still always saw it as dates 🤔

[Skycaptain]

Never had a relationship, however.... 

[LeChat]

Hmm...so far, only one vote for "had a romantic relationship."

 

Just reading the Asexual Relationships thread shows that there's definitely been more than one asexual who's been in a romantic relationship. Plus, there are plenty of asexuals and sexuals who join all the time because they're in a relationship or, in the latter case, their partner is asexual.

[Zagadka]

Have been in precisely one romantic/sexual relationship.

[Custard Cream]

Had several relationships, male and female. Married. Didn't realise I was ace for a very long time. *shrugs*

[- Saph -]

I've never engaged in a romantic or sexual relationship.

I'm not fully ace but my lack of interest for relationships is mainly linked to aromanticism.

[KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty]

I've had one that lasted roughly two years but gradually collapsed in on itself in all sorts of horrible ways. For now, at least, that's all I'll say. 

[WanderingKate]

I've been in multiple romantic relationships. Five of them to be exact if I didn't miss anyone.

I've been in three relationships with sexuals, but in only two of those relationships did actual sexual activities take place. The other I broke up with long before sex even came up for reason completely unrelated to our differences in sexuality. 

I've done various sexual activities but never had actual intercourse,  so depending on how you define it I could technically still be a "virgin"...I know there's been about a thousand debates over this  

 

 

[Firefly8]

On 9/8/2019 at 4:05 PM, Kyon. said:

I went on a couple of awkward dates and also made out. There was some hand holding too. 

Same, but without the hand holding. I'd rather make out than hold hands.

[HonoraryJedi]

One romantic relationship, with no physical intimacy to speak of. And even so, I was too aro for that to last more than a month or two (I don't remember exactly)

 

[Ferocious Cub]

Is married "further" than had sex?  I mean, I'm pretty sure you can have one without the other.

[Zebrafinch]

23 hours ago, Ferocious Cub said:

Is married "further" than had sex?  I mean, I'm pretty sure you can have one without the other.

Definitely in terms of commitment!

For my main purpose of the poll, had sex once or twice and married (never had sex) are probably about equal.

[Alchemist531]

I'm currently married and have a daughter. But I also just realized there is such thing as asexual. All my family and friends are sexual and I just got it in my mind that I wanted to be married and that I wanted to have kids. I love that I have my child. I love that im married but honestly things would be perfect if I could just take out the sex part of my marriage right now.

[Larkaloke]

I went on one date once. I was under the strange impression that dates mostly involved just doing fun stuff with another person, and once I figured out that no, it was supposed to be romance and what, I never did that again. (I was eighteen; I'm just slow to catch on sometimes.)

[Anthracite_Impreza]

One romantic relationship, kisses and cuddles only.

[ColeHW34]

Never been in a relationship.

Sure I've gotten asked out to a dance at a summer camp by a possible biromantic guy but that's it.

It's hard for me to form and keep friendships especially when I'm in the middle of nowhere.

[OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer]

I was in a (romantic?) relationship with someone not of my own choosing for a little over two years. For various reasons, it was problematic from the start.

[J. van Deijck]

I've been in several relationships and I've had sex numerous times, but only with one person.

[Iam9man]

Had more than one sexual relationship.

[neverlove]

Still in the dugout.

[pma01]

Iam divorced married for 8 years together for 10 she had an affair. I had been in several relationships prior to getting married, only had 2 sex partners

[everywhere and nowhere]

I have never been in a relationship and have been very unsuccessful with dating.

If I was in a relationship, I feel confident that I would be comfortable with hugging, probably kissing - but would never have sex. I just couldn't, I'm not going to do things which are so terrifying to me, like sex and nudity.

Sexual sacrifice is not obligatory, not "inevitable", and it's absolutely legitimate to break up or even avoid relationships precisely because one couldn't bear having sex.