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Ace ring confused for swinger ring?


GlamRocker

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I just started wearing an ace ring. Black, middle finger, right hand. I'm hoping I'll meet another asexual this way when I go to cons, pride, gay bars, or maybe even at Walmart lol. I'm worried it will be confused for a swinger ring, though. Has this happened to anyone?

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Alejandrogynous

I've never had mine seen as a swinger's ring. Then again, I've never had mine seen as an ace ring either. It's just a ring, loads of people wear black rings solely for fashion. Don't stress it.

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There are a lot of kinky people and sex clubs in my town so I have reason to be worried. Plus, I want to make sure that the ring is very recognizable for what it is so that any asexual person around me feels totally confident to approach me about it. I just bought this to try and make it more obvious.

 

As asexuality becomes more well known, and it really is becoming more well known, I think I have reason to hope people will start to know what it means.

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Tasha the demi squirrel

I've never had mine confused or recognised really but if you want to make it more obvious there are rings on etsy with the flag painted on

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Just put it on your right hand, the black ring on your middle finger left hand is for swingers, I remember the swinger community ( i don't think its actually called that lol) reached out to the ace community and said to use the right because they already claimed the left and it would confuse people because being ace is the opposite of a swinger (which is kinda funny as hell now that I think about it) There is some article online about this but i can't find it : (

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54 minutes ago, UnderworldFan1988 said:

Just put it on your right hand, the black ring on your middle finger left hand is for swingers, I remember the swinger community ( i don't think its actually called that lol) reached out to the ace community and said to use the right because they already claimed the left and it would confuse people because being ace is the opposite of a swinger (which is kinda funny as hell now that I think about it) There is some article online about this but i can't find it : (

I think you may be remembering wrong...the way I remember it swingers were using the entire right hand as their code, but when Aces started doing it the swingers reached out to say that the middle finger now belonged to Aces, and they would start informing members to avoid the middle finger for their rings. 

 

Google seems to agree with me, but its possible I just worded my query in a biased way.

 

Edit: Further reading suggests Aces actually started doing it first.

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8 minutes ago, Scottthespy said:

I think you may be remembering wrong...the way I remember it swingers were using the entire right hand as their code, but when Aces started doing it the swingers reached out to say that the middle finger now belonged to Aces, and they would start informing members to avoid the middle finger for their rings. 

 

Google seems to agree with me, but its possible I just worded my query in a biased way.

 

Edit: Further reading suggests Aces actually started doing it first.

OH okay, thank you for correcting me then : )

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AceMissBehaving

I haven’t had it happen yet, but I’m around swingers a fair amount so it’s a distinct possibility. The swinger podcasters I once worked with I know have specifically said the right middle finger is for aces, so it’s information that’s being put out into the swinger scene.

 

If someone approaches me for possible sex because of my ring, I’ll simply kindly explain that no, it means I’m ace. From my experience that would most likely be all that’s needed.

 

The people in the swingers scene I’ve met have been some of the most polite and respectful individuals I’ve ever come a cross with regards to such things. I remember the first time I worked at a swinger party, I was blown away at how unbelievably respectful everyone was in regards to boundaries, identity, and consent.

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This has never happened to me either. I've seen some people wear silicone black rings on their ring finger, but that could mean they're married and just like black. They might not be swingers.

 

There's also the fact that the middle finger is for a purity ring, so a black ring could be mistaken as a rebel purity ring?

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