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Hi, I’m new and have never spoken to or met another asexual before.


AGE

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Hi, so a bit about me, I’m 20, female, and from England. I’m going into my second year of law at university. I’m a huge film and tv fan, especially the marvel films. 

And I’m hoping to meet other asexuals just to talk because my friends don’t fully understand what it is like to be asexual so I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. 

 

I realised I was asexual roughly a year ago when a friend asked me if I was asexual. At the time I said no because I had never heard of the term before, but after researching a bit it was evident that I was. It felt like a weight was lifted. Before this I had always thought that I was (for lack of a better word) a “late bloomer” and eventually I would start to feel sexual attention for people.

 

 

 

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Greetings! Now you have!

 

I'm 31, also from England. 

 

In my case I was completely oblivious. I never expected to feel differently; I thought everyone else was just really promiscuous and it didn't occur to me until I was at college that any partner would want and expect sex and actually I was the odd one out. I think it was better that way, honestly.

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Welcome!

 

Very helpful friend there! I'm glad you could find out and be comfortable enough to seek out others.

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rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬

Hi and welcome! 

And the same thing happened to me! I never considered it until a friend mentioned the word to me. 

Glad we can finally chat about that stuff with others that have gone through it.

 

🎂🍰🍰🍰

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41 minutes ago, Pandoren said:

Greetings! Now you have!

 

I'm 31, also from England. 

 

In my case I was completely oblivious. I never expected to feel differently; I thought everyone else was just really promiscuous and it didn't occur to me until I was at college that any partner would want and expect sex and actually I was the odd one out. I think it was better that way, honestly.

Hi, thank you for commenting. when I was younger I also thought that people in my year group were being promiscuous and lying about doing things with other people. It wasn’t until I started my A-Levels that I realised that they were being honest. But I have never felt any pressure to feel any different about people than I already do it was that I just sort of expected it to happen at some point. But honestly the thought that one day I might have those feelings towards someone terrified me because I don’t understand how someone could experience those types of feelings.

 

sorry that this is long, it’s just that I’ve never spoke about any of this

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31 minutes ago, Zagadka said:

Welcome!

 

Very helpful friend there! I'm glad you could find out and be comfortable enough to seek out others.

She was a very helpful friend indeed, if she hadn’t have said anything I think I still won’t know that I’m asexual 

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16 minutes ago, rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬 said:

Hi and welcome! 

And the same thing happened to me! I never considered it until a friend mentioned the word to me. 

Glad we can finally chat about that stuff with others that have gone through it.

 

🎂🍰🍰🍰

It’s odd though that she has been my only friend to ask me if I was, but my other friends just have always assumed that I am without me telling them. 

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rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬
2 minutes ago, AGE said:

It’s odd though that she has been my only friend to ask me if I was, but my other friends just have always assumed that I am without me telling them. 

Some people know you so well they can just tell by instinct. They seem like nice friends tho. ♥️ I haven’t mentioned thinking that I’m asexual to any of my other friends and I’m a little curious to find out if they already assumed I was lol

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12 minutes ago, rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬 said:

Some people know you so well they can just tell by instinct. They seem like nice friends tho. ♥️ I haven’t mentioned thinking that I’m asexual to any of my other friends and I’m a little curious to find out if they already assumed I was lol

I’ve never explicitly told anyone that I’m asexual and I’ve never felt like I’ve had to. The only reason that they know is because went to mentioned it I didn’t disagree with them. And all of my friends are fine with it but one of them kept introducing me to their friends as the “asexual” which did irritate me because I’ve never told anyone and I didn’t give her permission to tell people that I don’t know that I’m asexual. I feel that she sees it more as a novelty than my sexuality if that makes sense 

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rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬
4 minutes ago, AGE said:

I’ve never explicitly told anyone that I’m asexual and I’ve never felt like I’ve had to. The only reason that they know is because went to mentioned it I didn’t disagree with them. And all of my friends are fine with it but one of them kept introducing me to their friends as the “asexual” which did irritate me because I’ve never told anyone and I didn’t give her permission to tell people that I don’t know that I’m asexual. I feel that she sees it more as a novelty than my sexuality if that makes sense 

I see what your saying and I’m really sorry to hear that :( did you try talking to her about how you feel? Society really likes to label people so I’ve been careful who I talked to about it so far. I hope everything works out for you ♥️

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Fightingforhappiness

Hello, I this is my first time also ever speaking about being asexual. 

I am 40 years old and been married twice. I always figured something was wrong with me, every man I dated or have been married to cheated on me. They all said its was my fault because I was not sexual active with them. Mind you I only had five partners in my life. I have never been sexual active never cared for it. I always look and stated that sex was an STD MEANING SOMETHING TO DO. Just like now in my second marriage my husband claims he not cheating both at the same time states I know what I am doing and that I make him feel unwanted. But know I am glad to know there or others out there just like me. My current marriage looks to be heading for divorce too. And I tell myself I guess it will be just me and my dogs because there is no one out there will never love me nor be on the same page as me. I can care less about having sex. Even if I chose to have sex once a month it still force to me to even do it. So the question I have can an asexual person have a happy marriage or relationship? 

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25 minutes ago, rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬 said:

I see what your saying and I’m really sorry to hear that :( did you try talking to her about how you feel? Society really likes to label people so I’ve been careful who I talked to about it so far. I hope everything works out for you ♥️

Yeah I asked her to stop doing it and not because I don’t want people to know, I could care less about what people think of me. But because she would hate it if I starting to introduce her as the “bisexual”, like it’s the most important thing people should know about upon first meeting, and she hasn’t done it  since. 

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rainbowsprinklez 🐙💜🍬
33 minutes ago, AGE said:

Yeah I asked her to stop doing it and not because I don’t want people to know, I could care less about what people think of me. But because she would hate it if I starting to introduce her as the “bisexual”, like it’s the most important thing people should know about upon first meeting, and she hasn’t done it  since. 

Good for you :) and yeah the way I see it it’s a way of describing yourself, and isn’t the only aspect about you.

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Welcome to AVEN AGE!! :cake:

 

As you see here (and as you go across the forum) AVEN is a very helpful place for discussing experiences, feelings, etc. regarding everyone of all identities. It is a very open community with many who are willing to help to the best of their abilities (I myself am one who tries their best).

 

I myself was a late bloomer as well, officially a few years ago, but a couple years even before that . So you can trust me that you are not the only one who it took some time to discover being ace and what it all meant. :) It is a difficult place to reach, and I commend such an achievement! :) 

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6 hours ago, AGE said:

Hi, so a bit about me, I’m 20, female, and from England. I’m going into my second year of law at university. I’m a huge film and tv fan, especially the marvel films. 

And I’m hoping to meet other asexuals just to talk because my friends don’t fully understand what it is like to be asexual so I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. 

 

I realised I was asexual roughly a year ago when a friend asked me if I was asexual. At the time I said no because I had never heard of the term before, but after researching a bit it was evident that I was. It felt like a weight was lifted. Before this I had always thought that I was (for lack of a better word) a “late bloomer” and eventually I would start to feel sexual attention for people.

 

 

 

Welcome to AVEN :cake: :)

 

Your so lucky to figure it out at your age! On the bold, I know exactly what you mean as I was 44 when I found out about asexuality after thinking I was straight but not putting much of an effort into it.

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Welcome! Hey from good old Gatport Airwick, how’s uni life treating you? :P 

csc_8469.jpg

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4 hours ago, Lichley said:

Welcome! Hey from good old Gatport Airwick, how’s uni life treating you? :P 

csc_8469.jpg

Hey Uni life is good, can’t wait to go back in September 

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Welcome!!! 🍰 A fellow Marvelite here! :D 

 

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@Steve Rogers 

GREAT username 😂 as die hard MCU fan getting a notification from someone called “Steve Rogers” kinda made my day 😂😂

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1 minute ago, AGE said:

@Steve Rogers 

GREAT username 😂 as die hard MCU fan getting a notification from someone called “Steve Rogers” kinda made my day 😂😂

Well, better than if I called myself Erik Lensherr (Magneto from X-Men) which is what I was considering shortly before I chose the name Steve Rogers. :D 

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@Steve Rogers

Not gonna lie, it would have made me happier if you name was Erik Lensherr. (I love X-Men too)

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1 hour ago, AGE said:

@Steve Rogers

Not gonna lie, it would have made me happier if you name was Erik Lensherr. (I love X-Men too)

Really? Wow, that's great! I've been a huge X-Men fan since I was 9 (mostly because of X-Men: Evolution that I watched 10 years ago). But anyway, I go by Steve Rogers here... :D 

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@Steve Rogers

I got into x-men through the films and I have recently started to read some comics but I don’t live close to a comic book shop so I don’t have a lot yet 😢

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10 hours ago, AGE said:

@Steve Rogers

I got into x-men through the films and I have recently started to read some comics but I don’t live close to a comic book shop so I don’t have a lot yet 😢

I love the movies (and personally, I liked Dark Phoenix, I think it sort of captured the spirit of the original comic book). :) I recently started collecting Chris Claremont's comics from the 70's and the 80's. They're the best. :) 

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@Steve Rogers

I like Dark Phoenix too, it wasn’t their best but I enjoyed it. First Class is my favourite 👌 

I’ve just finished read the Rise of Apocalypse mini series 

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1 hour ago, AGE said:

@Steve Rogers

I like Dark Phoenix too, it wasn’t their best but I enjoyed it. First Class is my favourite 👌 

I’ve just finished read the Rise of Apocalypse mini series 

Rise of Apocalypse is great. :) I haven't read that many more X-Men comics from the 90's, so I'll have to work on that... But I've spent the entire summer holidays large parts of Claremont's run, basically starting with Len Wein's Deadly Genesis from Giant Size X-Men #1. I think it was the best era in the X-Men comics. 

 

And personally, I love all the X-Men movies, but the first one is my most favourite. It's also partly due to nostalgia. I was 9 when they showed it on one Saturday afternoon on our local TV station... Hugh Jackman was so young... And the soundtrack of the film, my godness, is high up there among my most favourite soundtracks. :D 

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@Steve Rogers

I really need to buy more and I have just found out that there is a comic book shop near my university so when I go back in September I will be buying more 

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50 minutes ago, AGE said:

@Steve Rogers

I really need to buy more and I have just found out that there is a comic book shop near my university so when I go back in September I will be buying more 

By the way, there's a new series called House of X and a lot of people are saying that it's the best X-Men comic in years. Marvel started releasing it last month.

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