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KrysLost

bottom dysphoria rant

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KrysLost

I care too much about my lack of a dick for sure. I also knowing actually paying attention to it distresses me even more. Mainly because of the fact that I dont experience a whole lot of it. The emotion tends to be milder as compared to my top dysphoria. Not to mention with the top dysphoria static in the background, it's hard to discern. But having no dick does bother me a little. iT SuCKS. Mainly because i wanna be happy with what I have. Be happy with the T-dick when I get it. I have some days where it's more positive and it's like YEa i'll be hAPPY with THis. I often times ignore downstairs because I have no use for it other than to piss and jerk off. Dysphoria can fluctuate yes. Top dysphoria tends to feel like repulsion mixed with anxiety. Bottom tends to feel my stomach sinking with a faint anxious feeling at it's worst but I can never quite tell. I'm more dysphoria about the lack of dick than I am the mangina. Disassociating can make it hard to tell what I'm ok with though. Obviously being pre-everything does NOT help. I legit just want the T-dick and full transition to solve the bottom so I can fuss over other shit. ALSo i kinda lowkey just wanna be ok with le mangina because its convenient. Nothing is in the way. Ironically I find balls repulsive even if I experience euphoria imagining them. It just also sucks bc i wanna erase IT so it's out of my head. I'm fine with being a contradiction, no dysphoria but wants a dick. Is a top but is likely never gonna have sex. List goes on. I dont like bottom dysphoria I wanna make it go away.

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Bloc

Dysphoria sucks. *Hugs and tea ūüćĶ* if you like

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yyy

It seems you just don't like being the biological sex you are. 

That is really tough.  

I can accept what I am as far as what I was born to be biologically  but  it is awful dealing with the culture of gender and the horrible things that automatically  comes with being born one gender or another. With being female being prone to physical weakness inherently  because of your sex  is horrible. That's just one thing. 

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anisotrophic

What's your timeline for being able to start testosterone therapy?

 

I don't mind the anatomy I have, but I'm also looking forward to these changes.

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Iridium

*hugs*

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KiannaKitter

That's rough. I can't offer much other than positive vibes and maybe a hug? :) 

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KrysLost

BELh. I'm still on my parents insurance and it's Christian based so I'd have to get that out of the way. Not to mention I need to move out. UG HH so much before I can properly do anything.

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anisotrophic

Knowing you've got a plan and a path to progress can still be very empowering. :)

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