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How do I balance intimacy and my own feelings?


DFSunburst

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I recently broke up with my girlfriend of one year, one reason for this being that she wanted to take things further than I was okay with. So how do I find a balance in the next relationship I'm in (if ever in one haha) between my own feelings and what the other wants?

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Explain your needs? It says your demisexual right there so you are capable of feeling sexual attraction. I understand that she craved it however and was ready. Oral is often a good substitute and people tend to just view it as foreplay when it's pretty much a sex act on it's own, can be just as intimate, and be more satisfying on both ends (especially the women's). HOWEVER, your needs come first. If you are not comfortable do not do it. 

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banana monkey
7 hours ago, DFSunburst said:

I So how do I find a balance between my own feelings and what the other wants?

 

6 hours ago, KrysLost said:

Explain your needs?

This is difficult, I would say explain your needs and limits as early on as possible but I am unsure if that would create a balance because ultimately the other party needs a relationship that supplies their needs and you need one that supplies your needs (which is often not to go further than you are happy with). In this case it seems that it may have been that your ex had needs to go further than you were happy with. If that was the case, in that situation, it is very difficult to find a balance, - you often cant.  

 

It may be better to try and find someone whose needs match yours more so that both your needs can be met and both your limits not breached. 

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