CeciThorne Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Um... Hi? I prefer the name Cecillia or some variant please. I'm 27 and denied being asexual for over a decade. I am terrified right now! I really try to avoid thinking about this. I guess I should start at the beginning? I have never been big on touch. I put up with it when it's my family but I still don't always necessarily like it. I have my moments when I want hugs and affection. I'm similar to a cat in that regard. Except I have never been allowed to have my moments. It's everyone else's moment or none at all. My family and best friends were real bad about this. I just stopped trying when I was still pretty young. Now I don't know how to express myself when I want affection. My family has learned not to push their affection on me. It was not pretty. It was after getting a reprieve from everyone that I started to notice little things. Little things that had me denying, denying, denying and lying to myself and those around me. I didn't understand why my friends would want to lose their "v card". I didn't get the big deal with celebrities or models. I could care less about who was hot or not for the month. Certain jokes made no sense. I had to have people explain to me that yes I was being flirted with. I have had crushes but never really felt attracted to anyone. The very thought of being with another person scares and repulses me. I came up with every excuse there was to avoid being with my exes. I knew something was wrong with me. I knew if certain family members found out it would be all out war at home. I knew if certain friends found out school would be even more miserable. I only dated those two to hide how different I was/am. Big mistake on my part. I only started to really accept that I'm asexual a few years ago. It took my little sister thundering out the closet demanding we call her by her new pronoun. I was about to have a heart attack! I thought I would have to take the heat but our folks just had questions. Thankfully only the immediate family knows. The older generation has been left in the dark. I still get the "so when are you gonna give us granbabies?"question every Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
QueerAroAce Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Hi there! Welcome to the community. Here's a slice of cake (part of the tradition to welcome newcomers) Well done, for maybe coming to terms with it? For the denial part I've been there. Glad to see you sharing your self discovery journey. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Welcome! Yeah I feel you on the touch part. It can be really hard to figure out how to express affection when you’re used to being ignored, and the best advice I’d give is to talk about it. Communication isn’t the key to any relationship whether it be a friendship, QPR or even something romantic you need to find someone you’re comfortable talking this through with. It’ll be awkward at first, and maybe won’t work with the first person you try it with, but you’ll get there Link to post Share on other sites
CeciThorne Posted August 19, 2019 Author Share Posted August 19, 2019 Thanks and the cat reminds me of my own. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 A very belated welcome to AVEN! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a 'Snow Leopard and Cub' cake, http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/176303-snow-leopard-and-cub Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Welcome to AVEN I'm out to a few close friends but have no intentions in telling my family (enough drama in it right now without announcing I've never been interested in sex). Link to post Share on other sites
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