Eva Blue Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 (Baby don't hurt me-) Lol, no but seriously. In all of my 21 years I don't think I've felt romantic love. I've had 3 romantic partners and how I feel never lines up with how they feel. I've felt excitement at deepening our relationship and happiness at the thought of more affection I could show, but the intensity of their possessive behavior over my body and affection bewildered me. And over time I've come to question if I even am capable of romantic love and I wonder... Is romance supposed to feel like friends-but-with-more-affection or is it some secret feeling that is withheld to me? Or does it even exist? Personally I think this whole one-and-only + jealousy over nothing seems more and more like a Hollywood troupe. What do you say? Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 ... Link to post Share on other sites
Salmiakki Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 It's like heaven taking the place of something evil. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 1 hour ago, Eva Blue said: I've felt excitement at deepening our relationship and happiness at the thought of more affection I could show, but the intensity of their possessive behavior over my body and affection bewildered me You might just not feel romance as intensely. Not everyone gets all Romeo and Juliet about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 3 hours ago, Eva Blue said: Is romance supposed to feel like friends-but-with-more-affection or is it some secret feeling that is withheld to me? Or does it even exist? Personally I think this whole one-and-only + jealousy over nothing seems more and more like a Hollywood troupe. What do you say? Quite a lot of romance is a Hollywood troupe, although everyone experiences romantic love differently. It seems most to be like friends-but-with-more-affection to me. While it is true that some people in romantic relationships get possessive, many do not -- certainly not to the excessive extent that it becomes very easily visible. Often times in a more toxic relationship there is more possessiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
QueenOfTheRats Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 To me love is feeling heavily invested in someone else's happiness, and willing them to be the best version of themselves Link to post Share on other sites
kumiko_itoe Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Those relationships you had wasn't love. It was possession. Most people mistake wanting to possess another as love. True love is giving, kind and selfless - - something most of the world isn't capable of. To love someone is to happy for their happiness. To sacrifice for their sake. To want with all your heart and soul to help them achieve the best of them. I have been on many dates and there have been many who claimed to love me only to disappoint as what they claim to be love is - - you are there to make me feel better about myself and my life - to up my ego - to improve my life ...and if you love me, it means you will become someone else for me. Sad.... You may/may not find that perfect someone. Not everyone does find their soulmate. Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 Love is an emotion that ideally is a positive attachment to someone that generally leads you to want the best for them, which can be familial or friendship or romantic or sexual or whatever. I believe you want to know about romantic attraction and romantic relationships (specifically, divorced from sexual relationships). You seem to be in good company there. Link to post Share on other sites
aces_baby Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 Love is the attraction to another person's soul, whereas lust is the attraction to another person's body. That's my definition, anyway. For myself as a heteroromantic ace, love looks like wanting to hold hands with my crush, hug them, cuddle them, kiss them, talk to them, do favors for them, and see them be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 What jealousy and possessiveness are you talking about ? When I love someone, I want only them. So it hurts if they want others as well. Because they don't feel for me as I feel for them. Which is why I can't handle poly. I need the exclusiveness to be content in a romantic relationship. I still care about them if they can't give it, but I can't live day after day giving something that won't be returned. So we can't be together. Some people are just naturally mono and others are naturally poly. So, that is a compatibility issue. But if you mean "you cant hug others or wear short skirts" kind of jealousy and possession then... that is unhealthy and they need to work on that, not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 9 hours ago, aces_baby said: Love is the attraction to another person's soul I don't believe that something like a "soul" exists, but I still do love certain people or things. The older I get, the more repulsed I am by romance though so I'm not going to comment on that. Link to post Share on other sites
QueerAroAce Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 No idea still lost about that myself. I never feel anything but disbelief and skepticism, when others claim to have fallen for me. This is what happens every time. Them: just wanted you to know I like you, well more like I love you. Me: So you want to have sex? Them: no...I mean yes but no. I like you as a person Me: ?_? So friendship. Them: we could stay friends, but I want to be more to you.. Me: Kay bestie, thanks for umm... loving me.🤦🏾♀️ We'll see...about that. Link to post Share on other sites
ValentinaRose Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 Love is not an emotion, love is a promise. A promise you make to those who you feel a connection with. You’re yourself around them, and would do anything for them. Link to post Share on other sites
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