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AceCase47

What is your definition for a romantic relationship?

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AceCase47

Hi there -

 

i was wondering what people here use to define what a romantic relationship looks like to them. I am having some trouble figuring out what I am actually for romantically, I know that with someone I trust I want to cuddle, and maybe kiss but tbh I have found kissing to be meh. I’m just curious how y’all define being in a romantic relationship. 

Is it okay to just want cuddling and still just call yourself ace? Or does that mean that you are more aro? Idk.

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Chris Zulas

sexuality =/= wanting to cuddle. most people wanna cuddle.

as for romance, a romantic relationship has 1 true definition - when two people have a relationship together and they're both like "ya, were romantic partners"

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firewallflower

I'd agree with @Chris Zulas here: a relationship becomes a romantic relationship when the people in the relationship consider it romantic.

 

There are common markers of romantic relationships (physical intimacy, committed exclusivity, traditional "romantic" gestures like candlelit dinners, etc.), but these markers won't necessarily be found in all romantic relationships... and may also be found in some non-romantic relationships.

 

It's certainly possible (albeit not extremely common) to have romantic feelings (whatever those are 😛) toward someone without wanting to kiss or do anything more physically involved than cuddling. If you feel that way towards someone, and they return the feeling, and you enter a relationship together which feels and is labeled romantic by you and your partner... voila, romantic relationship. :)

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ShoIchi89

For me personally a romantic relationship would be like this:

 

- A lot of cuddles without a special reason, just for the contact and the good feeling 

- taking care of each other. That starts with small things like set up the coffee for the partner before he/she need to go to work and let them sleep five minutes longer, until be there and help with problems or mental breakdowns or whatever. 

- the possibility to talk about everything (if needed or requested even sexual topics) 

- live together and go on "dates" like cinema or a bar or whatever. Not always but sometimes. Like special time for two :D

- spoil the beloved one with small gifts or treats like his/her favorite chocolate or a massage or something like that

 

You know like being with a really good friend just...a little bit more? I can't properly explain it but for me romance is platonic so I see a lot of romantic gestures even in normal friendships. 

Does that makes sense? 

Edited by ShoIchi89

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QueenOfTheRats

No way to describe it, but you will know it when it happens to you.

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DarkStormyKnight

I like the definition of a romantic relationship being a relationship where all partners recognize it as romantic. Every relationship is different in terms of physicality and that's always up to the people involved, it can involve cuddling/kissing or it can not, it's up to you.

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kumiko_itoe

I was in a relationship with an asexual man before I married my husband (who is very sexual). In both, I believe I had romantic relationships. 

 

 

With the asexual man, we used to hold hands and cuddle. We loved sleeping on the same bed just to be near each other and even did little things like running back and forth 2 shops for him to choose a single shirt (I was bored to tears but just being with him was enough), buying a small bottle of every beer in the store to try and find out which we like best, ordering a mountain portion of pancakes to stuff ourselves silly and find out if we can actually go into a food coma, taking an impromptu drive to a beautiful resort in the mountains just to watch the sunlight amidst gorgeous flowers only to realise it was too early and cold in the morning so we only watched 2 seconds and agreed that sleep is more beautiful. LOL .. we are still great friends and each other's confidant today. He has had numerous sexual relationships before and after me but he didn't like them. I also tried to kiss him when we were together out of curiosity (was a virgin then and he was my first boyfriend). He froze up and was totally uncomfortable so I never ventured further from hugs and cuddles. Though this wasn't the reason we didn't work out. Our life goals and purpose was simply in different directions. 

 

 

With my husband, he is very understanding about me being asexual eventhough he doesn't quite believe that there is such a thing as I am demi-ace and thus have my moments besides being very sensual. With my husband, when sex is off the table, we still cuddle, kiss and hug - - we do quite a bit of PDA as well. 

 

Romance I believe is loving to be in the company of the person you love and taking the time to make each other happy (and also involves physical touch ...THOUGH how far the couple goes will depend on every individual couple) 

 

 

 

 

 

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