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AllPancini

AlPancini

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AllPancini

I hate sex. I don't understand how anyone can think it's pleasurable. I wish I could get my genitals removed. Sex is like chicken pox. You feel itchy, so you scratch- and after all the scratching is over and done with, you feel even itchier... and now you're sore! 

I've never wanted to be intimate with another person. Pornography makes me feel ill. Sexuality feels like a disease.

Am I asexual? Or am I just strange?

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CBC
4 hours ago, AllPancini said:

I don't understand how anyone can think it's pleasurable.

Because at the very least, if you're doing it right, whether it's casual sex or sex with someone you love, it's highly physically enjoyable because of how our bodies are meant to work. Additionally, when it's in the context of a loving relationship, it's a demonstration of trust and comfort and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and it increases bonding. Bonding closely with someone in the most intimate way is validating, and all humans require some validation (obviously not necessarily from sex, but for sexual people it's a factor). It's part of good psychological health. Feeling loved and accepted and valued when we're at our most vulnerable (in any way, I'm not just referring to sex) is important.

 

You don't have to like porn (many sexual people don't care for it, either) and you don't have to want or have or like sex, but it's probably not a good idea to go around describing sexuality as an illness when it's one of the most natural and usually healthy things in life for most of us. Attitudes like that don't paint asexuals and asexuality in a good light, which should be important to you if you want to be taken seriously and recognised and understood. (And no, I can't tell you if you're asexual or "just strange". I've no idea.)

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Janus DarkFox
6 hours ago, CBC said:

Because at the very least, if you're doing it right, whether it's casual sex or sex with someone you love, it's highly physically enjoyable because of how our bodies are meant to work.

For everybody, physical pleasure is extremely variable on a day-to-day basis based on many factors, there isn't one set pleasurable feeling. 

 

I've never had a pleasurable physical or mental experience, the pleasure is mild to non-existent even uncomfortable or painful with my current partner.

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Guest AlPanci
22 hours ago, CBC said:

Because at the very least, if you're doing it right, whether it's casual sex or sex with someone you love, it's highly physically enjoyable because of how our bodies are meant to work. Additionally, when it's in the context of a loving relationship, it's a demonstration of trust and comfort and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and it increases bonding. Bonding closely with someone in the most intimate way is validating, and all humans require some validation (obviously not necessarily from sex, but for sexual people it's a factor). It's part of good psychological health. Feeling loved and accepted and valued when we're at our most vulnerable (in any way, I'm not just referring to sex) is important.

 

You don't have to like porn (many sexual people don't care for it, either) and you don't have to want or have or like sex, but it's probably not a good idea to go around describing sexuality as an illness when it's one of the most natural and usually healthy things in life for most of us. Attitudes like that don't paint asexuals and asexuality in a good light, which should be important to you if you want to be taken seriously and recognised and understood. (And no, I can't tell you if you're asexual or "just strange". I've no idea.)

I'm sorry. I hope I made it clear that I was only speaking for myself and my own experiences. It genuinely feels that way to me. I know that sex is natural and I'm the unnatural one. I'll delete the post if it'll be harmful to the asexual community. (Though I'm locked out of the first account currently, so it may take a little while.) Sorry.

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anxiousdolphin134
On 8/9/2019 at 9:15 AM, CBC said:

Because at the very least, if you're doing it right, whether it's casual sex or sex with someone you love, it's highly physically enjoyable because of how our bodies are meant to work.

 

On 8/9/2019 at 9:15 AM, CBC said:

it's probably not a good idea to go around describing sexuality as an illness when it's one of the most natural and usually healthy things in life for most of us. Attitudes like that don't paint asexuals and asexuality in a good light, which should be important to you if you want to be taken seriously and recognised and understood.

@CBC I don't think @AllPancini was trying to paint asexuality in a bad light. It's not an "attitude", it's their feelings, which are valid. They were just asking for advice and guidance, not insensitive criticism about how they're "doing it wrong" because physical enjoyment from sex is "how our bodies are meant to work". A lot of other people that are part of AVEN have had the same experiences— being sex-repulsed is a real thing (http://wiki.asexuality.org/Repulsed). 

As for the original question, it depends on whether you feel sexual attraction. If you don't feel attracted to people sexually, you might be a sex-repulsed asexual. Some sexuals are also sex-repulsed, so just because you're sex-repulsed doesn't necessarily mean you're asexual. 

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Marlow1
On 8/9/2019 at 12:21 PM, AllPancini said:

I hate sex. I don't understand how anyone can think it's pleasurable. I wish I could get my genitals removed. Sex is like chicken pox. You feel itchy, so you scratch- and after all the scratching is over and done with, you feel even itchier... and now you're sore! 

I've never wanted to be intimate with another person. Pornography makes me feel ill. Sexuality feels like a disease.

Am I asexual? Or am I just strange?

DISCLAIMER: Please note I am not a doctor, and I am not trying to diagnose you. If anything I say here rings true please speak to a qualified Doctor

 

I think two things might be going on for you here. Firstly, you may be sex repulsed. Both people that are Sexual and Asexual can have forms of sex repulsion, aversion and so on. In some cases this can be treatable but even with treatment it will not change the fact if you are actually Asexual (Spending time here at AVEN will help you to decide if you are Asexual or not) , and treatment does not always work, and many folk that are repulsed do not want treatment, which is also cool; a very good friend of mine has chosen not to try to change this, and is happy with her decision, not all sex repulsion is a problem, and almost everybody has some level of it at some point. If it is making you ill and interfering with your life to a great extent though, it might be at least worth reading up about it

 

Secondly, all the itching could be Candida. You have not stated if you are male or female. This article speaks about how Candida can be triggered at the time a person has sex. It refers mainly to women, but men too can suffer. 

 

https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/life/775987/sex-yeast-infection-symptoms

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