Caligosexual

[MoraDollie]

Definition:

 

Caligosexual is a term within the asexual umbrella. It means "a sexual attraction defined as feeling sexual attraction that is very weak or vague, almost nonexistent, like a vapor, fog, or mist." Some people describe it as "I'm basically in the between of greysexual and asexual because my attraction is so rare and/or weak I don't even consider myself apart of the greysexual community." The term was coined in July 2016 by a user named "terribledacty".

[everywhere and nowhere]

Do you honestly think that a person would be more likely to say "I'm caligosexual!" than just "I feel something akin to sexual attraction, but it's very vague, almost not there"?

[AceMissBehaving]

There are two reasons I’m envious of my bisexual friends. One is there are so many good puns that go with bi, the other is I often see various posts along these lines... “bisexuality doesn’t have to mean you like men and women 50/50, it can be more like 70/30 or 90/10, you’re still bi even if you have a preference”

 

Why can’t we just have that. Accept a label will always have variations with it. Why can’t someone just say “I’m grey-A, but like for real my shade of grey is straight up charcoal” 

 

Human sexuality is so nuanced if every possible variant had a micro label, people would need a dictionary of labels to look each and every one up in.

 

labels are supposed to make it easier to navigate the world not harder.

[daveb]

I can't help but think of Caligula.

 

Caligo is a genus of large butterflies. 

 

"caligo" is also defined thusly:

1. (medicine, obsolete) dimness or obscurity of sight, dependent upon a speck on the cornea

And apparently means "darkness" in Latin.

[timewarp]

15 hours ago, daveb said:

I can't help but think of Caligula.

This. Known as a tyrant who wanted to be honoured as a deity and also known for cruelty, sadism and sexual perversion.

 

There's also caligae, the Roman sandals that gave Caligula his name. Using this etymology, a caligosexual would be someone with a sandal fetishism.

[Lichley]

1 hour ago, AceMissBehaving said:

Why can’t we just have that. Accept a label will always have variations with it. Why can’t someone just say “I’m grey-A, but like for real my shade of grey is straight up charcoal” 

Petition to start labelling Grey-a identities as different shades of grey, because that actually sounds more interesting than a bunch of confusing labels no one’s ever heard of. 

“I’m Grey-A but more of a slate grey y’know?”

[Guest]

1 hour ago, daveb said:

I can't help but think of Caligula.

 

Caligo is a genus of large butterflies. 

 

"caligo" is also defined thusly:

1. (medicine, obsolete) dimness or obscurity of sight, dependent upon a speck on the cornea

And apparently means "darkness" in Latin.

Calico is the foundation colour which matches my skin tone the closest in Boots No 7 range.

[andreas1033]

Is there a name, for extreme level of being asexual, where you are totally dead to people?

[LeChat]

4 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

Is there a name, for extreme level of being asexual, where you are totally dead to people?

Just to clarify, do you mean a person who doesn't feel any type of attraction to anyone (i.e. asexual, aromantic, etc.) or do you mean a term for others who aren't attracted to a person at all?

[AceMissBehaving]

14 minutes ago, Lichley said:

Petition to start labelling Grey-a identities as different shades of grey, because that actually sounds more interesting than a bunch of confusing labels no one’s ever heard of. 

“I’m Grey-A but more of a slate grey y’know?”

I’ll have one drawn up and presented to

the council.

[andreas1033]

3 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Just to clarify, do you mean a person who doesn't feel any type of attraction to anyone (i.e. asexual, aromantic, etc.) or do you mean a term for others who aren't attracted to a person at all?

I mean in the absolute term, no attraction to people at all.

 

No grey area at all.

[LeChat]

14 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

I mean in the absolute term, no attraction to people at all.

 

No grey area at all.

Well, I've heard others use "aromantic" because they're not attracted to anyone, romantically; "a-aesthetic," if they don't feel aesthetic attraction towards others, etc.

 

I haven't come across a term that specifically describes a person who isn't attracted to anyone in all categories.

 

I don't know. Would "single" be okay? I've heard some people, online, who say they plan to stay single for life, call themselves "happily single," because they believe it helps differentiate themselves between those who are single, but who would like to be in a partnership, someday.

[Guest]

32 minutes ago, Lichley said:

Petition to start labelling Grey-a identities as different shades of grey

Can't we just call them '50 Shades of Grey' because the irony would just be so sweet and succulent and juicy?

[AceMissBehaving]

2 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Can't we just call them '50 Shades of Grey' because the irony would just be so sweet and succulent and juicy?

Motion seconded 

[AceMissBehaving]

18 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

I mean in the absolute term, no attraction to people at all.

 

No grey area at all.

Asexual and aromantic or aroace

[LeChat]

@AceMissBehaving True. There's that. Although, aroace people can still experience aesthetic attraction toward others, and I wasn't sure whether @andreas1033 was looking for a term for aroace people who also don't experience aesthetic attraction toward others.

[AceMissBehaving]

1 hour ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

@AceMissBehaving True. There's that. Although, aroace people can still experience aesthetic attraction toward others, and I wasn't sure whether @andreas1033 was looking for a term for aroace people who also don't experience aesthetic attraction toward others.

They can, but don’t have to, which comes back to the “there will be some amount of variation under any label” point. The end result of not wanting either a sexual or romantic relationship remains the same. Aesthetic attraction is just a point along the way for those two things which are already covered by aroace as being a “nope”

 

Labels are simply a shorthand that give an at a glance frame of reference they aren’t meant to be the complete conversation. No group is that homogeneous. 

 

A sexual or romantic orientation shouldn’t be anyone’s entire self, it’s simply one of many individual facets, and the finer details are things you share with people if you want to depending on your relationships (platonic, family etc included)

 

When I say to someone “I’m asexual” they aren’t supposed to instantly know everything about me. They get the general, “doesn’t want to jump any one’s bones” frame of reference, and for most people, that’s about all they need to know. How that plays out is unique to me, and shared on a case by case basis. Not everyone needs to know if I find folk pretty to look at, have a high libido, low libido, or masturbate twice on Tuesdays.

 

[daveb]

2 hours ago, Aris said:

Calico is the foundation colour which matches my skin tone the closest in Boots No 7 range.

Interesting. Calico has a different etymology, based on a city in India. And has a different meaning in the US vs the UK (and some other English-speaking countries). In the US it refers to patterned cloth, and certain cat color patterns, among other things.  

[Sally]

3 hours ago, andreas1033 said:

Is there a name, for extreme level of being asexual, where you are totally dead to people?

Yes.  Asexual.  

[Sally]

5 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Do you honestly think that a person would be more likely to say "I'm caligosexual!" than just "I feel something akin to sexual attraction, but it's very vague, almost not there"?

They could just say "I'm not very sexual."  Just who would insist upon knowing more than that?  

[everywhere and nowhere]

13 hours ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Can't we just call them '50 Shades of Grey' because the irony would just be so sweet and succulent and juicy?

 

13 hours ago, AceMissBehaving said:

Motion seconded 

I don't second it because I am BDSM-repulsed and I consider "50 Shades of Grey" an actively harmful book. If someone enjoys such practices - I will scratch my head in astonishment and let them be, but the book makes a lot of people believe that they should try it. And BDSM is not for everyone, some people will never ever enjoy it and only feel traumatised.

One of the reasons why I strongly prefer spelling the word "gray" is to distance myself from this book.

[everywhere and nowhere]

And one more thing I wanted to write:

15 hours ago, AceMissBehaving said:

Human sexuality is so nuanced if every possible variant had a micro label, people would need a dictionary of labels to look each and every one up in.

 

labels are supposed to make it easier to navigate the world not harder. 

That's it. There are as many unique sexualities as there are people.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

 

I don't second it because I am BDSM-repulsed and I consider "50 Shades of Grey" an actively harmful book. If someone enjoys such practices - I will scratch my head in astonishment and let them be, but the book makes a lot of people believe that they should try it. And BDSM is not for everyone, some people will never ever enjoy it and only feel traumatised.

One of the reasons why I strongly prefer spelling the word "gray" is to distance myself from this book.

It was (obvious) irony relating back to the ridiculousness of how 'grey' (which is how we spell the colour here in NZ) is often defined as an 'asexual identity that can be characterised by any type of sexual behaviour or erotic preference under the sun, and can also be given its own unique name if one wishes' - which means that there are literally like 50+ names now for identities on the 'grey spectrum'. 

 

I do agree with you though, the book was actively harmful: I'm still trying to recover from all the grammar and spelling errors I had to endure while trying to read it, not to mention the fact that the writing was just terrible in general. And the author didnt know the first thing about BDSM which didn't help. Different topic though.

[daveb]

47 minutes ago, CBC said:

So where does the drive come from to do this as asexuals?

We have more time to ponder these things.  

 

But seriously, I think a lot of people do it as a way to try to understand where they are in a world where being asexual is not the norm. Personally I'm fine with just saying I'm asexual. I agree, no one else, other than a partner, needs to know more than that. But if some people want to delve into labels I'm fine with that, too. It's no skin off my nose.  

[Anthracite_Impreza]

1 hour ago, CBC said:

So where does the drive come from to do this as asexuals?

Gold star asexuals?

[Karst]

I really don't see why everything needs to have a specific microlabel.

[Lichley]

11 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

One of the reasons why I strongly prefer spelling the word "gray" is to distance myself from this book

It’s grEy in England, and grAy in America. That’s literally the only reason for the different spellings. 

[LeChat]

3 hours ago, CBC said:

What I don't get is why some asexuals need distinct terms to seemingly denote exactly how (a)sexual they are...So where does the drive come from to do this as asexuals?

2 hours ago, daveb said:

...I think a lot of people do it as a way to try to understand where they are in a world where being asexual is not the norm. Personally I'm fine with just saying I'm asexual. I agree, no one else, other than a partner, needs to know more than that. But if some people want to delve into labels I'm fine with that, too. It's no skin off my nose.  

 

Yeah, I feel like @daveb is onto something, here. It might have to do with the fact that, since asexuality isn't widely known and there isn't guidance for asexuals--starting at a young age--from teachers and parents (similar to how sex ed and heterosexuality is widely shown and talked about everywhere) on how to determine whether or not they're asexual, romantic, etc. (such as with specific books with details about the science of sexuality, sexual orientation, etc.), it's probably caused a lot of confusion for asexuals.

 

So, they're left trying to guess or figure out themselves, as best as they can, because they don't know exactly what it is they're "supposed" to feel, to determine if they're "heterosexual," "heteroromantic," "asexual," etc.

[Lichley]

So, are we gonna consider the grey-scale system or not? Because I’ve accidentally become invested...

[Skycaptain]

Locking this as way off-topic 

Skycaptain moderator TGA