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janlascko

Formers, now Asexuals (& Happy!)

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janlascko

Hi folks. At one time in my life I was sexually active. I'm 53, which is why I'm posting it on the Older A's area. I've been through 3 failed marriages, and several other hetero relationships that fizzled. Each one for different reasons, kinda, but I was the common demoninator. I'm not a bad person at all, but I know I'm insecure. In the last 5 years, with hormone imbalances caused by a pituitary tumor, I've lost my desire for physical intimacy. And until this asexual thing I learned about, didn't want to get close (like as friends, or a companion), because I gained weight & felt ugly, and still didn't have a sex drive. I'm glad to be here, to share ideas and be supportive with others.

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free spirit

I also have hormone imbalance but can,t get the Doctors at the Hospital to do much. Did you know that the same NHS Doctors are the same Doctors that do private work and thats the real reason the waiting lists are so long. If I went private I,d still get the same Doctors but a more kinder approach from them and probably some right answers. Thought I would have a whinge. I might be wrong but I believe my Asexualness is down to my genes and that my aching knees is down to hormonal inbalance. I eat all the right things but my body still cries out for some craving. If I could work out what supplement my body is asking for I would,nt need any doctors.

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janlascko

to check on the thyroid & pituitary. It took me nearly 4 years to get the diagnosis right (my benign tumor), and I don't think when they did the surgery that they were able to get it all off the Pit Gland. Your Pituitary is the 'command' central for all your endocrine system. Do some research online, then approach the doc's about it.

As far as asexualism, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Having balanced this on both sides of the fence (once being sexually active), and now am not, I'm relieved that I don't have to 'live up' to expectations, or that is the only thing in a relationship. When you see the doctors, explain the asexualism, but not that you want to be necessarily active. I don't believe any real studies of us have been done, and we are who we are and we have nothing to feel sorry or ashamed about!

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Busrider

If I could earn my living within 20-25 hours/week, I might rediscover certain interests, but they have lower priority than other stuff I'm finding no time for too, at the moment. I fear after retirement I will not like the idea of having sex with apropriate potential partners for aesthetical reasons, :oops: if I will not have become the quirkiest bachelor of the universe, which seems within my reach. :wink:

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Tanwen
Having balanced this on both sides of the fence (once being sexually active), and now am not, I'm relieved that I don't have to 'live up' to expectations, or that is the only thing in a relationship.

Couldn't have put it any better, although I never really enjoyed the sex bit.

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roddy9uk
if I will not have become the quirkiest bachelor of the universe, which seems within my reach. :wink:

Nothing wrong with being "quirky"..never so happy since I decided to stop pretending to be "normal".

roddy

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janlascko

as Normal Does!

We are all unique, beautiful in soul, bountiful in happiness and abundant in friendship!

:P

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pinkfizzie

I too have suffered through a pituatary tumor and its after effects. This atrributed greatly to my asexualness. Jan just wondering about tghe meds you take . i know i have many, including steroids.

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janlascko

Actually, I'm on NO meds whatsoever, hormones, nuttin' honey! I still get hot flashes, from my hysterectomy, but they're fewer & fewer. I didn't know there were meds for this - my endocrinologist never suggested anything (that's the VA hospital doctors for you!). Should I ask about that? PS - I do feel like my original symptoms are coming back (prolactin)

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Tanwen

I've been on HRT since my hysterectomy in 1995. I did try stopping once but after 6 months of worse and worse hot flushes I begged to go back on. They will now separate me from my prescriptions only by way of a gneral anaesthetic.

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janlascko

I've heard of new hormone therapy that is 'designed' just for your body. Don't think the VA will go for that. I feel like a prisoner in my own body so many times.

I'm a big CSI fan too! BTW, until the very last episode last season, wouldn't Grissom have been thought of as an asexual? There, but never interested? Boy, we should write to the network and have them explore that!

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pinkfizzie

Jan I am so stunned to hear you are not on meds. Since my surgery I take a boatload. You are lucky girlfriend. I even take meds to keep my prolactin down as too much is deterimental to your bones.

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janlascko

:o I will contact the Endo Clinic right away, and ask why I wasn't given options! This could be why my arthritis and the Buffalo Hump is out of whack again! The OTC meds just ain't workin' and I feel like I'm 100 years old. Thanks my friend :wink:

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pinkfizzie

Jan dont look for trouble if you do not need meds then all the better. Good luck

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FelineFanatic
Hi folks. At one time in my life I was sexually active. I'm 53, which is why I'm posting it on the Older A's area. I've been through 3 failed marriages, and several other hetero relationships that fizzled. Each one for different reasons, kinda, but I was the common demoninator. I'm not a bad person at all, but I know I'm insecure. In the last 5 years, with hormone imbalances caused by a pituitary tumor, I've lost my desire for physical intimacy. And until this asexual thing I learned about, didn't want to get close (like as friends, or a companion), because I gained weight & felt ugly, and still didn't have a sex drive. I'm glad to be here, to share ideas and be supportive with others.

I am glad to have you here. I too have endocrine problems includint the pituatary, adreanals, and hypothalmus so far. I had a pituitary tumor about 20 years ago. So far it has not returned, but the effects remain.

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janlascko

Thank you Feline, and welcome!

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pinkfizzie

Feline wow we are the pit bunch, I had my pituatary tumor when I was 17. What mess. Feline were you asex prior to surgery?

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