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Can I want to sleep with someone without really being attracted to them?


lifeislife

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Recently I've started being almost desperately sexually attracted to a specific person I just recently met, I don't really find attractive, have no connections with or barely/don't know at all. I mean intensely, dreaming about them, fantasizing, intensely turned on. But I'm not aesthetically or intellectually or personality (dont know them well enough) or really even physically (not ugly just not attracted) attracted. Just sexually. I didn't used to be this way and I don't know what's happening to me. Is it a pheromone thing? Or the different immune systems issue? It seriously is like since the first time I met them they had a scent that just drugged me, but there's nothing I like about them except the thought of being with them. They are into me but in a wanting to get to know me capacity, and it's not like I am in danger of jumping them, I just dont understand my feelings. Anyone have any incite? Is there something wrong with me?

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Grumpy Alien
12 minutes ago, lifeislife said:

desperately sexually attracted to a specific person I just recently met, I don't really find attractive

This doesn't make any sense to me.

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1 minute ago, disGraceful said:

This doesn't make any sense to me.

I dont look at them and go oh theyre hot. There's even parts of them that I'm like nooooo but I want them to sleep with me

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Grumpy Alien
Just now, lifeislife said:

I dont look at them and go oh theyre hot. There's even parts of them that I'm like nooooo but I want them to sleep with me

What is hotness if not wanting to sleep with them?

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7 minutes ago, disGraceful said:

What is hotness if not wanting to sleep with them?

You're probably right and maybe I'm just confused, it just feels different. I'm actually kinda going on all conscious levels that I'm not attracted to him at all but maybe there's something else there I'm physically attracted to that I'm not getting? I've never been much of a sexual person so I just don't know.  It's like I dont want to look at him I want to just have sex with him but not quite that harshly about the looking at thing. 

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2 hours ago, lifeislife said:

Recently I've started being almost desperately sexually attracted to a specific person I just recently met, I don't really find attractive, have no connections with or barely/don't know at all. I mean intensely, dreaming about them, fantasizing, intensely turned on. But I'm not aesthetically or intellectually or personality (dont know them well enough) or really even physically (not ugly just not attracted) attracted. Just sexually. I didn't used to be this way and I don't know what's happening to me. Is it a pheromone thing? Or the different immune systems issue? It seriously is like since the first time I met them they had a scent that just drugged me, but there's nothing I like about them except the thought of being with them. They are into me but in a wanting to get to know me capacity, and it's not like I am in danger of jumping them, I just dont understand my feelings. Anyone have any incite? Is there something wrong with me?

What you're describing is sexual attraction, definitely. It's the draw to want to have sex with a specific person for whatever reason, certainly doesn't have to be about looks or anything else. Some people just spin our dials in a way we can't explain. It's often biological, like, your body is picking up on certain traits that you yourself don't consciously recognize, but your body is like 'yeah babies' when it sees that person, haha. You mentioned smell, and pheromones are a huge component of sexual attraction. Our bodies pick up genetic clues in other people's scent that indicate whether they'd be a good breeding partner or not, lol. Hope that helps :)

 

 

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1 hour ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

What you're describing is sexual attraction, definitely. It's the draw to want to have sex with a specific person for whatever reason, certainly doesn't have to be about looks or anything else. Some people just spin our dials in a way we can't explain. It's often biological, like, your body is picking up on certain traits that you yourself don't consciously recognize, but your body is like 'yeah babies' when it sees that person, haha. You mentioned smell, and pheromones are a huge component of sexual attraction. Our bodies pick up genetic clues in other people's scent that indicate whether they'd be a good breeding partner or not, lol. Hope that helps :)

 

 

So basically, he's my best breeding partner I've ever come into contact with, if my reaction is any indication XD. It does help, thank you!

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21 minutes ago, lifeislife said:

So basically, he's my best breeding partner I've ever come into contact with, if my reaction is any indication XD. It does help, thank you!

Haha yeah your body is definitely picking up on genetic factors in his pheromones and being like 'breeeed nooooow', ahaha :P 

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Nothing wrong with just wanting to have sex with someone.  Acting on that of course depends on a bunch of things, like whether they are in a relationship etc.  Otherwise just be honest with them so that they don't misunderstand what you are looking for. 

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Tooooons of people can relate to wanting to sex someone (and as far as I'm concerned that's basically sexual attraction) that they know is someone not right for them relationship-wise.

 

I can't, but I definitely hear about it often enough.

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