Claire1983 Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Anyone else have the experience of thinking you are straight growing up and then later having to reassess your feeling for the same sex? I'm 35 and only last year realized that I was asexual. I'm not aro, but now I'm not totally sure what my romantic orientation is. I had previously dismissed the idea that I could be interested in woman since I knew I didn't want to sleep with them, but when I realized I didn't want to sleep with men, or anyone for that matter, that muddied the waters a bit. I feel like I may have ignored or misinterpreted possible interests because I didn't know I could have romantic attraction without sexual attraction. Anyone else have a similar experience and how did you sort through that? Link to post Share on other sites
3Xi3X Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Uhh yeah! Thats why it was so freeing to me when I learned about “asexuality” because I was sort of battling the fact that if I was straight then I had to treat guys (same sex) differently than I would women. But without the sexual desire it really does change things. Thats why I went with biromantic when I signed up with AVEN and needed to fill out the A/Sexuality box. Link to post Share on other sites
motography Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 15 minutes ago, Claire1983 said: Anyone else have the experience of thinking you are straight growing up and then later having to reassess your feeling for the same sex? Yes!! For the longest time I thought I was gay and ruled out pursuing relationships with girls, but when I finally realized I didn't have sexual attraction to anyone it made me reevaluate "what is romantic attraction" and "who am I romantically attracted to". Was it just guys? I wasn't and still am not completely sure to be honest. But I am trying to sort that out, and my process is kind of just 'going with the flow' lol I think living with an open mindset about relationships will help me figure out more about my orientation and who I am romantically interested in. So maybe just staying open to all possibilities will help you as well Link to post Share on other sites
CajunAce Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Yup. It took me a long time to realize my feelings for a close friend was more than "sisterly love". It confused and scared me a bit at first, but I accepted it because in the end, I didn't care one bit what gender my significant other would be. Love is love, as they say. Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 I never really associated romantic attraction with sexual attraction, even though I initially assumed I was straight by default. I realized I was homoromantic after realizing I was on the ace spectrum, but the two events weren't related. They just coincidentally happened around the same time. I can't really explain how my realization about my homoromanticism happened because it kinda just occurred to me one day when I was thinking about a girl? I'd say to make sure you know what romance really means to you. Being ace can make that definition a little blurry for some people, but once you figure it out, you should be able to determine if you want romance with women. Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowocollie Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Found out I was bi after developing feelings for a girl, basically....I'd had crushes on guys before, so I knew what a crush was like. Previously I had had squishes on girls, but the crush just felt....different. I wanted to be with the girl, as more than friends, and was a little bit jealous of her bf. Link to post Share on other sites
tenchinage Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 I'm in that situation now Claire1983... I'm fairly sure...still coming around to it that I'm asexual, and for the longest time I'd consider myself straight. In middle and high school had crushes on guys but certainly never acted on them. Have had a few dates with guys (didn't go anywhere obviously). Recently though, I've been thinking about friends and colleagues that I know are lesbians and have found my thoughts dwelling on them...I'm not sure if it's because I'm in awe at their confidence and courage or if it's something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Bloc Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 I assumed I am straight until being over 30. Just assumed I haven't found the right person yet, because I was not sexually attracted to any one, at least not strong enough to have any incentive to act upon. Until I realized I had a massive crush, only to realize about half a year later that I am not attracted to only one gender. From there it took me about another half year to find out that I am grey ace. Now I would say that gender is not important if I am attracted to someone, although I am more often attracted to people with androgynous gender expression. Link to post Share on other sites
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