Seb84 Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Hello, my name is sebastien I am 36 and I am in a relationship with my gf for 7 years now. We have a 2 yo daughter. Since she was born we had sex like 3-4 times. In the 3 years Before her birth we had less and less regular sex. After a long chat with her She a month ago she do her " coming out" and tell me she was sexual and for years she had encounters with me to please me and she don't really want to. She had done the same thing with all her previous partners all her life long I read a lot and listen and some videos about a sprectrum and I understand her orientation and the fact she don't did a choice she is like that by nature. And I totally respect her and I don't want to force her to anything she don't really want to do. Also I really love my gf and my family but as the sexual partner I don't think I could live with sex 2-3 times a year. I want to know A peoples how do you deal with your partner in this situation, I want some clues please share your experiences!!! The a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 I don't have advice as I'm not in a similar situation and I've never been in one, but I'd just like to say that it's great that you understand your gf's orientation and you respect her, and that you want to know how you can make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade Kitty Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 I can't help you with your main question, but I just really want to make sure that you always have her consent. Always, always, always. I'm sure that if you have an honest conversation about it, that you will be able to compromise, and both be happy. But, make sure that she isn't feeling like your whole relationship depends on this. Make sure she HONESTLY says yes, and that she is happy with the compromises. I'm not saying that you don't listen to her, I'm just saying, that often people can feel intimidated and say yes from pressure. Make sure that this doesn't happen to you. Link to post Share on other sites
3Xi3X Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 I have been in a relationship for going on 4 years now. I just spoke to my wife about how I was feeling one day and made it known that she has the right to voice her own concerns and feelings too. When she is in the mood and she wants to get intimate then she tells me. Sometimes we plan the day/night when we are going to do it and sometimes it happens pretty spontaneously. There are times when I politely tell her please not now or whatever, but I know that it cant only be my way so I make sure that I do give her what she needs too. I don’t have to pretend to love her. Being “sexy” and “fiery” or whatever, I feel it is sort of an act. But I do it knowing that its important to the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with. And we are both happy. If I were you I would just communicate with your wife and work out a way to up the number of times so that you are happy, but don’t push her into an uncomfortable zone either. And keep in mind that there will be times she wants to say NO. And that has to be okay too. Hope that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Don't pressure. But do share what sex feels like to you, what it means to you. And learn how it feels for your partner. Caring about each other is really key especially when you're so different Link to post Share on other sites
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