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crazy ace

Anybody else just sometimes wish that they were allosexual, just to feel normal?

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crazy ace
Posted (edited)

 Sometimes I wish that I could just be allosexual and feel normal. Does anyone else ever feel this way or deal with situations similar to this? 

Edit: I'm sorry if it seemed that I was implying that asexuality was abnormal. I simply meant that I sometimes feel polarizingly different from other people I know, because I don't feel sexual attraction.

Edited by crazy ace
Text easily misconstrued
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Grimalkin

Hell yeah. I've always wanted the classic nuclear family. I want a nice husband and a cute house and tons of kids. 

 

Being allosexual would make getting that SO much easier. 

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MichaelTannock

I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'Asexual Musings and Rantings'.
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

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AceMissBehaving

Out of curiosity to see what it would feel like could be fun. I wouldn’t want to change who I am though. I think somethings would be easier if I were allo for sure, but I’d hate to lose this part of me.

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crazy ace
1 minute ago, AceMissBehaving said:

Out of curiosity to see what it would feel like could be fun. I wouldn’t want to change who I am though. I think somethings would be easier if I were allo for sure, but I’d hate to lose this part of me.

I don't want to change either, but sometimes I just want to feel like I fit in.

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AceMissBehaving
5 minutes ago, crazy ace said:

I don't want to change either, but sometimes I just want to feel like I fit in.

The thing about people is there is no one way to fit in, you just have to find your tribe. Easier said than done maybe, but I do believe that.

 

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Grey-Ace Ventura

On one hand, I kinda wish I was allosexual because things would be easier.

 

On the other hand, I'm pretty repulsed by the thought of having sex and I wouldn't ever want it to be something I enjoy. I also think it would be easier to just have the same wishes as most of society (find someone, have kids, settle down, etc.), but I also know I hate the idea of it and I wouldn't be myself if I wanted that, if that makes sense. Being allosexual would be like losing a pretty significant part of my identity and blending into the backdrop.

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Jon A.

My answer is a resounding NO. I've never really fit in anyway, so why throw away something that's more of a benefit to me than anything?

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Moonman

No. That’s a weak position to put yourself in.

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J.CAce

I have never wanted a nuclear family. 

Never wanted a wedding.

Never wanted sex.

but I want to want it.

i want to want to want to want all those things.

but I don’t want them.

i wish I didn’t have to come out.

i wish I know ace people.

but to answer the question, no I don’t want to be Allo.

but I want so badly to want to want to not be ace.

i don’t know if any of that made sense.

but it’s the only way I can put those feelings into words.

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Zagadka

I've never wanted a family. Like I've said, i love my nieces and nephews, but my own... no thanks, for several reasons.

 

Though I sometimes wish I could be in a regular relationship, with people not asking questions and answers being "easy". It would certainly make facing a future of likely loneliness more bearable.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Absolutely not, no. The idea horrifies me.

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Zagadka

On hearing people talk about it, I'll think about joining a dating app like Tinder or whatever. It seems like such an easy out. Then I realize I have no connection to that and it would just be incredibly awkward and I'd wish for just hanging out.

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Star Lion

Sometimes. Maybe I would have a lot more friends and I would be a lot more confident in myself after the life experiences the allos go through trying to find a mate. But I like being ace and aro. I’m different from the expectations which was my childhood dream, I get to educate people about my identity, I relate to LGBT without having their struggles, and hopefully one day I’ll have a partnership that’s completely untraditional (same sex but without sex and romance) but still extremely rewarding

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Philip027

I have no interest in being conventionally normal.  This IS my normal.

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Firefly8

Sometimes I do until I think about it irl, but I'd give it a try anyway...not to "feel normal," but just to see if anything develops and what that's like (...the hard to prove a negative thing). Some seem to like it.
Your friend stopped being friends just because you're asexual? Did this friend have a crush on you or ? Was it really acephobia? 

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crazy ace
3 hours ago, Firefly8 said:

Your friend stopped being friends just because you're asexual? Did this friend have a crush on you or ? Was it really acephobia? 

He felt that my asexuality was a symbol of how we had too many differences to be close, and told me that I was simply deceived. I'm physically male, and he's heterosexual, so I don't think he had a crush on me.

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Firefly8
2 hours ago, crazy ace said:

He felt that my asexuality was a symbol of how we had too many differences to be close, and told me that I was simply deceived. I'm physically male, and he's heterosexual, so I don't think he had a crush on me.

Wow, it sounds like he has a few issues he needs to work through within himself before he can be a good friend to anyone. 

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Sally

It would have been a lot easier in my marriage and my long partnership with sexuals if I'd also been sexual.  

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Laplace

Nah, that would probably destroy the Earth and cause the the fundamental foundations of nature to crumble. In all seriousness, no. I’m done conforming to some of society’s dumb crappy standards. I’m different, and that’s fine. People still like me which gives me a great deal of confidence in my personality and character.

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Lunala

I personally wouldn't want to change. Sex is stupid, gross and overrated in my opinion. I'm happy being ace and different rather than changing to be "normal" and fit in.

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Homer

I don't know what "normal" entails for OP. An average sexuality seems manageable to me, but romance is just too much of a hassle with no reward IMO. At 36, I'm way past a point of caring about what other people think.

 

*opts out*

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Nowhere Girl
15 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Hell yeah. I've always wanted the classic nuclear family. I want a nice husband and a cute house and tons of kids.

The opposite of what I always wanted. I decided that I don't want to have children or marry long before I knew that I don't want to have sex, before I even knew what is sex.

And really, I just never found the idea of "being normal" appealing. I always preferred being extraordinary, being different - later I also decided that "normality" is an oppressive idea which is meant to keep us from realising that we are not all alike, that everyone is extraordinary and everyone is different from any other person.

 

Anyway, I absolutely wouldn't want t be allosexual. First of all because of my sex aversion - I don't want the existence of even a potential path of space-time in which I was psychologically capable of having sex.

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Greyberries

Not really, but I understand the appeal of finding a husband and making a family and live as a housewife. I feel like if I was allo I could achieve that at a faster (or I guess “normal”) rate. But ace me only has the highest of career ambitions that blindsides everything else haha. It’s so stressful! Call me ignorant, but living the housewife life seems like i dont have to worry about as many things as much. 

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Telecaster68
11 minutes ago, Greyberries said:

I understand the appeal of finding a husband and making a family and live as a housewife.

That's no more a sexual person thing than it isn't an asexual thing. Plenty of sexual men and women don't want that kind of life, or want it but can't have it.

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Greyberries
1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

That's no more a sexual person thing than it isn't an asexual thing. Plenty of sexual men and women don't want that kind of life, or want it but can't have it.

Hmm i guess im confused then. Then nope, never wanted to be allo at all. 

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Telecaster68

Wanting to have sex as part of your relationship, and finding relationships that don't include sex are lacking something crucial, isn't the same as wanting some kind of white picket fence 1950s delusion of domestic bliss.

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Road

The thought has crossed my mind, but, at the end of the day, I don't think being sexual would solve any of those feelings of isolation I have. I would just find something new to worry about.

 

 

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CBC
22 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:
34 minutes ago, Greyberries said:

I understand the appeal of finding a husband and making a family and live as a housewife.

That's no more a sexual person thing than it isn't an asexual thing.

Yeahhh. I'm sexual and want a life with my partner, but I'd sooner amputate a limb than have kids and I don't want to be anyone's "housewife". And I've encountered asexuals who definitely want that stuff, so. It's got nothing to do with whether you want to fuck people.

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I, Joan

On some of my lonelier nights, I’ve wished to be allo, or as my brain so charmingly puts it on bad nights, “normal”.  It would make finding a partner so much easier, I think. But whenever I try to realistically consider being in a sexual romantic relationship, I completely disconnect from my body. I know it would never work. I just feel rather hopeless about finding a QP...

i dunno. At least I’ve never wanted kids. Not biological (thank the stars), not adoption. I’m going to live with my many cats and my piano in my apartment in a city. 

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