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I’m asexual right??


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Gabrielle13

Alright so I’m almost 16, yes I know I’m young but just hear me out. I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone, at all. I’ve had crushes on guys before and I love gushing over cute guys with my girlfriends. And I love the idea of getting a boyfriend and being in love. I’ve been called a hopeless romantic. But I’ve never been interested in having sex with any guy, even the guys whom I’ve had massive crushes on. I told my mom that and she was like “wait so did you like them or not?”. My whole life I’ve never been able to connect sexual desires/attraction to love/romantic attraction. I was feeling sort of broken until I recently found the term asexual and this site. But I’ve been told that it’s because of my age, or that I just haven’t met the right guy yet? 

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Alawyn-Aebt
22 minutes ago, Gabrielle13 said:

But I’ve been told that it’s because of my age, or that I just haven’t met the right guy yet? 

Only you can answer those questions, and you might not be able to answer them until much later in life. You might be asexual or you might not, it is very hard to definitively prove a negative.

I do know statistically by age 18 98% of people have felt sexual attraction, and at least two major studies have found that about 1% of the population is asexual so by age 18 if you have not felt sexual attraction you have a 50% you are asexual, the other 50% would be that you are a late bloomer. I do not know statistically by age 16, but the percentage who have experienced sexual attraction at age 16 is above 50%.There are some on here who would disagree with those figures, but the two most comprehensive studies have found about 1% and that number seems reasonable to fit with the other data available.

 

And with that out of the way, Welcome to AVEN!🍰

Since you are 16 you might want to check out the Teen Corner, that is where some of us teens hang out.

 

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5 hours ago, Gabrielle13 said:

Alright so I’m almost 16, yes I know I’m young but just hear me out. I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone, at all. I’ve had crushes on guys before and I love gushing over cute guys with my girlfriends. And I love the idea of getting a boyfriend and being in love. I’ve been called a hopeless romantic. But I’ve never been interested in having sex with any guy, even the guys whom I’ve had massive crushes on. I told my mom that and she was like “wait so did you like them or not?”. My whole life I’ve never been able to connect sexual desires/attraction to love/romantic attraction. I was feeling sort of broken until I recently found the term asexual and this site. But I’ve been told that it’s because of my age, or that I just haven’t met the right guy yet? 

@Gabrielle13 I pretty much went thru my teen years unconcerned/uninterested about sex and having a girlfriend. There was a pretty girl I sat beside in home room for three of my four years of high school. We had a lot of fun talking before school with her but was never inclined to ask her out (I dont recall her mentioning a boyfriend).

 

Then when weekends rolled around and my friends were partying, going to dances, drinking and (fill in the blank) on Saturday night, I was babysitting a couple of kids down the street.

 

I know a pretty lame job for a teenaged boy. Fortunately I never got hassled about it. I think my friends were kind of envious because the family paid a decent amount.

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coelacanthiformes

Hey, so by the way you describe yourself, it seems like you're likely to be on the ace spectrum. However, you're the person who knows yourself best. If you don't experience sexual attraction, and you agree with the label "asexual," then you're asexual! If you're not ready to label yourself yet (which I totally understand, because I'm going through the same thing) then that's fine, too. Yes, you may be kind of young, but if you look through the forums on this website, you can see plenty of people who started identifying as ace in their teens. If you turn out to be a late bloomer, however, and you don't end up being on the ace spectrum, that's totally okay! You can identify yourself as whatever you want, as long as you're comfortable in your identity.

As for the "you haven't met the right guy yet" opinion, think about this: you said that you've gotten crushes on plenty of guys before but you felt attracted to none of them. This could be a sign of your asexuality. Aces just don't have interest in sex, and it seems like you fit that description pretty well. But don't leave it up to us to label your sexuality; it's your choice. 

Also, if anyone asks how come you know you're ace, quote this post below: "When people question how you can know you're asexual if you've never tried to have sex before, counter them with this: why wouldn't you hug a cactus if you have never done it before? Go ahead. Hug the cactus. You've never done it so how do you know you won't like it?" 

tl;dr Your identity might change as you get older, or it might stay the same. But no matter what, it is valid, and you're the only one who can label yourself. 

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Grey-Ace Ventura

I'm also a teen and I was also the same age when I considered asexuality.

 

I think that most people would've experienced sexual attraction at that point, if they are sexual people. There will be people who say that because of your age, you can't accurately determine whether or not you're ace, but they're wrong. Of course there are late bloomers, but if you know you're ace, then no one's to doubt you. Furthermore, if you think ace describes you and you want to use the label, go ahead! If you do change your mind later on for some reason, that's okay too! It doesn't make you any less valid.

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NickyTannock

@Gabrielle13 A belated welcome to AVEN!

 

Your feelings could change in the future, but I don't think you're too young to know if you're Asexual.

In my case, I realised that I'm Asexual in my early teens, around 14 when I started hearing sexual comments from my peers and in media and found that they bewildered me.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Puppy Cake,

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