I need help for my book

[alien.hedgehog]

I think of writing a book. It is still in the development stages but I need help. The book has 6 main characters:

David, who is the most prelevant POV character and in the course of the book finds out and accepts the fact that he is pansexual and agender

Damian who is bisexual

Luca who is gay

Ozzy who is a straight trans guy

Angela who is asexual and aromantic

 

I know how to write Angela because we have the same labels, but the others kinda give me troubles. I want to make them real, I want people to look at them and see them as relatable, real human beings, not just carbon copyes of characters who already exist in the media. And I really think that understanding their genders and sexualityes will help. I will ask friends who can help me to tell me about those, but I want more references.

 

I know that this may be unconfortable for some, but for those who can. Can you tell me more about how it feels and how you found out about your sexuality and gender?

[3Xi3X]

Well I only fall under asexual but as a biromantic I can tell you that caring for other men equally to women is something that I have in common with bisexual people.

 

The idea of holding hands with someone, cuddling with someone, laughing with someone, taking care or being taken cared of by someone... eating, dancing, partying. It doesn’t matter if they are operating a male body or a female body. You fall in love with the personality (and they can both be EXTREMELY nice to look at) and I imagine for an allosexual (bisexual) that wanting to get frisky with them equally too. That’s what it means to be Bi.

 

Straight people often try to talk and act like youre actually straight. Gay people often watch you from a distance, gauging if they can trust you, if you are one of them or enough like them or not.

 

If your a man and your BI. Then guys say your gay and can be mean. Girls might imply the same but they tend to be accepting.

 

It also depends on if you are more masculine or feminine because “a feminine guy must be gay” and otherwise “youre too masculine to be bi, you act straight.”

 

Once you are talking or dating with a girl you are “straight” and treated that way, can make you feel a little invisible or unacknowledged.

Once you are talking or dating with a guy you are “gay” and treated that way and anything “straight or masculine” about you doesn’t matter.

 

Thats mainly it. Sometimes with all the above going on it can feel like you are not fully accepted with other dudes, nor the ladies, heterosexuals nor homosexuals. It’s like you are standing in the center of them all but not really part of any of them.

 

 

[Phie]

for context, I'm still not quite sure, but basically I don't think I feel sexual attraction to people, I don't know if I've ever felt strong romantic attraction, I'm sure I can find pretty much anyone aesthetically appealing and I seem to have a preference for girls in general (I connect to girls way better, I'm generally either fine with physical contact or like it when I know her well enough, physical contact with guys feels weird or outright repulsive, things like that)

 

What made me question in the first place was a relationship with a guy (it really disgusted me and I felt broken, like I could never truly love anyone), then I was asked if I was into girls a few times and it really confused me how anyone could think that

Especially in the beginning, I felt like I was faking something (and guilty about it) because I started questioning my sexuality at a time when most of my friends seemed to be very sure of theirs already (several friends had come out to me years before, as pan/bi/gay/ace) and I thought I knew all about the different orientations. Looking back, there are quite a few things that make more sense to me now , but I keep thinking "what if you're overanalyzing things because you just want to feel special?"

Every so often, I find myself looking at almost every stranger I see on public transport and asking myself whether I would like to sleep with them or kiss them or go on a date with them and so on, that goes on for a few days at a time and I end up exactly where I started, I hate when it happens

I'm out as "not straight" to a few people at uni who are also not straight and that feels very nice because we can relate to each other and they don't assume I want to get married to a man one day and have children (most other people in my life do, to varying degrees), I've realized how much I have always tried to appear "normal" to other people (and to myself) and it's very liberating to be able to drop that pretense

 

hope this helps you, I'd love to read your book one day

[scarletlatitude]

On 7/22/2019 at 8:42 AM, alien.hedgehog said:

I know how to write Angela because we have the same labels, but the others kinda give me troubles. I want to make them real, I want people to look at them and see them as relatable, real human beings, not just carbon copyes of characters who already exist in the media. And I really think that understanding their genders and sexualityes will help. I will ask friends who can help me to tell me about those, but I want more references.

My thought... don't bring it up unless it's a part of the plot. If there really isn't anything different besides sexuality, then don't worry about it unless it is an important part of the plot. You can just mention how they dress, how they look, etc and leave it at that. In real life it's not that noticeable either... unless you have someone who wears t-shirts saying "I'm super gay" or something like that.  People would not know I am ace and gender fluid unless I tell them. 

 

Alternate thought -- you can bring it up in how they behave. So let's say one character makes a super ignorant comment about a woman, for example. You can have the person stand up for the other side. It both says something about their character and hints at their own orientations. 

[alien.hedgehog]

17 hours ago, scarletlatitude said:

My thought... don't bring it up unless it's a part of the plot. If there really isn't anything different besides sexuality, then don't worry about it unless it is an important part of the plot. You can just mention how they dress, how they look, etc and leave it at that. In real life it's not that noticeable either... unless you have someone who wears t-shirts saying "I'm super gay" or something like that.  People would not know I am ace and gender fluid unless I tell them. 

It will not be a big part of the plot for the majority of the characters. Just David will have an entire arc figuring his sexuality and gender and he is the main character, so I want to write that part of his character developement as realistic as possible. For the others will be little things here and there, like Luca talking to some guy he likes that Angela and Damian don't like at all and try to talk him out of dating him, or Ozzy being ocasionaly misgendered in spite of his efforts to look as masculine as possible, or Angela having flags on her walls and having to explain to David what they mean+hating to go to clubs because it annoys her to death when people flirt with her, or Damian being angry when people tell him that he is straight/gay depending on who he's dating at that moment. But all of them will be POV characters at some point and their backstories will be revelead with time and I consider that it will be easier to see where they come from and why they act the way they do if you know their labels and their adventures in decovering themselves as they grew up.

[scarletlatitude]

1 hour ago, alien.hedgehog said:

Just David will have an entire arc figuring his sexuality and gender and he is the main character, so I want to write that part of his character developement as realistic as possible

Ah okay. Sounds like an interesting book! Let us know when it is ready to read.