Anonymous123456 Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Hi, I won’t go into what I was apologising for, as that’ll just complicate things more. Suffice to say, I apologised for actions I thought crossed a line, but the other person was not bothered about and did not see the actions as anything that warranted an apology. So there were no hard feelings then, nor now. However, I think following this things may be a little awkward. We won’t be seeing each other for quite a while, but we do text a fair bit. I feel it would be a bit weird to just message them and start a conversation. How long should I leave before striking up conversation again? Or should I wait for them to message me, to make sure things are okay? How have you continued friendships following an apology? Sorry if this is weird or vague, but I’d appreciate any feedback :) Adam Link to post Share on other sites
AutumnSpace Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Hey Adam, although I don't have much information about the subject, I think as long as the other person isn't hurt or affected by what happened, it should be just fine to message them anytime. Maybe even ask how they are doing or what they think about it. The worst thing you can do it let feelings fester, getting it out there and off your chest helps a lot. Hope this helped! Link to post Share on other sites
3Xi3X Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Hiyaz. I’m in agreement. When my friends tell me it’s fine I act normal and make it fine too. Then things stay positive between us. Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 1 hour ago, AutumnSpace said: Hey Adam, although I don't have much information about the subject, I think as long as the other person isn't hurt or affected by what happened, it should be just fine to message them anytime. Maybe even ask how they are doing or what they think about it. The worst thing you can do it let feelings fester, getting it out there and off your chest helps a lot. Hope this helped! It did help :) thanks for taking the time to reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 53 minutes ago, 3Xi3X said: Hiyaz. I’m in agreement. When my friends tell me it’s fine I act normal and make it fine too. Then things stay positive between us. I think I’ll do that too. Thanks :) Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Moonman said: Sometimes people say you didn't do anything wrong because they don't want the conflict. I've had it before, had a person tell me that I didn't fuck up but it still feels like the friendship will never be the same because what you've done won't be forgotten even if it's left largely unsaid. That's on them then. Assuming that someone would act like that is just as bad IMO. I'd take them at face value and just go on as usual Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Personally I think the main thing is to keep communicating. If you sit back and wait for them to make the next move it might appear to them that you don't want to talk to them. I'm not good at guessing how people feel. If they tell me it's fine I will take that at face value (unless it's really obvious they are being sarcastic or holding back). I do understand about feeling bad about something, though. But if you keep pressing that the person might start to feel annoyed. Apologize and deal with it and move on. If they say it's okay then it may very well be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted July 21, 2019 Author Share Posted July 21, 2019 13 hours ago, Moonman said: Sometimes people say you didn't do anything wrong because they don't want the conflict. I've had it before, had a person tell me that I didn't fuck up but it still feels like the friendship will never be the same because what you've done won't be forgotten even if it's left largely unsaid. In this digital age, it's pretty easy to ignore somebody and ghost them and kinda shut them out your life entirely without having to say as much. As for what to do now, I would speak to the person when you feel comfortable speaking to them again. You felt you did something wrong so it's going to be difficult to speak to this person right now because that wound is still new and it's still sore, but you can always start the next conversation with a preface about how you had to take some time out to get your head in the right place. There's nothing wrong with holding yourself to certain standards so long as you aren't beating yourself up too much when you betray them. That’s some solid advice. They did indicate that my apology wasn’t necessary, but I’m still not sure. I don’t think I should just let it go altogether. Thanks for taking the time to reply :) Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted July 21, 2019 Author Share Posted July 21, 2019 11 hours ago, daveb said: Personally I think the main thing is to keep communicating. If you sit back and wait for them to make the next move it might appear to them that you don't want to talk to them. I'm not good at guessing how people feel. If they tell me it's fine I will take that at face value (unless it's really obvious they are being sarcastic or holding back). I do understand about feeling bad about something, though. But if you keep pressing that the person might start to feel annoyed. Apologize and deal with it and move on. If they say it's okay then it may very well be okay. I think you make a fair point. If I just keep guessing and guessing, things will probably get worse. Link to post Share on other sites
MissingZucchini Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I would recommend to take there response at face value as others have said. I have experience from second guessing in situations like this and it truly does hurt a lot more than helps if you second guess things. I would recommend just letting it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted July 23, 2019 Author Share Posted July 23, 2019 20 hours ago, MissingZucchini said: I would recommend to take there response at face value as others have said. I have experience from second guessing in situations like this and it truly does hurt a lot more than helps if you second guess things. I would recommend just letting it go. That’s fair advice. It’s probably best that I moved on. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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