Gray-A or just Asexual?

[gray-a girl]

I have been thinking that I'm Gray-A, but now I'm not sure. I read some posts by sexuals in the "what is sexual attraction" thread and wow.... its hard to conceive of that experience. That there are different levels of attraction to different people, and that they feel sexual attraction throughout the day?

I thought sexual attraction was literally being aroused by another person? (So the similar feeling you get if you masterbate but on a smaller scale?) Now I'm not so sure. I think I remember a "magnetic" feeling towards the person too. But I think I only felt that magnetic feeling once or twice, also for just a few seconds. Not sure if that is sexual attraction? Can someone who is sexual tell me if that's right?

Under that definition, I *think* I have been sexually attracted to a small number of people in my life. Probably can count on one hand. But now I'm not sure if thats what that was, if there is more to it, or whatever. How can there be different levels of sexual attraction? That doesn't make sense to me. And I really cannot conceive of being sexually attracted to people throughout the day, every day. It sounds almost like a sixth sense. Very strange.

I guess that probably makes me gray- asexual if I've felt sexual attraction only to maybe like five people in my life? But, the thing is, it wasn't always on even with that person. It lasted only a few seconds. I don't know. I think I have felt it, maybe, but I'm just not so sure anymore. I am certainly on the asexual spectrum though, reading about sexual people's experiences is so foreign! I just cannot imagine feeling something like that all the time. As background noise. It was kind of enlightening to read that.

[NickyTannock]

Sexual Attraction is different from Arousal.

I define Sexual Attraction as leading to the desire to have sex with someone, meaning if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with someone, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is Arousal.

[gray-a girl]

If thats what it is....so then I've maybe felt that maybe three times in my life? And I'm 35. That would make me...gray-a I guess?

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Do you want sex with anyone?

[Custard Cream]

I understand. I have felt what I think must be sexual attraction 3, maybe 4 times in 50 years. For me, it has lasted a few hours at a time, and has been aimed entirely at strangers or near strangers. I have wanted to throw them against a wall and do things to them that no asexual would instigate. I never acted on any of them, it was just too weird and creepy for me.

So yeah, that is technically grey-a, but I don't count myself as grey-a as I didn't wish to act on those impulses when they occurred. I am asexual, and have messed up my marriage enough to be quite sure of that!

[gray-a girl]

From what I understand it is possible to be a sex favorable asexual or gray a. (Someone told me a year or so ago that that was not possible so then I spent awhile not sure what else fits).

 

I like sex but I don’t need it. However it’s nice In the way that I like masterbation. It’s not about the person but the physical sensations. I don’t need sex... other forms of physical stimulation are just as good if not better. My boyfriend and I don’t have sex (he’s not asexual may I add so the reasons are complex). I would like to do it more though because it feels good. But it’s not my boyfriend or some attraction to him that makes me want to do it. I’m kinky so I like a lack of control over things that’s one of my kinks. 

 

For many many many years I did not have sex though. Until my current boyfriend it hurt and not having it didn’t bother me enough to figure out why. Now it doesn’t hurt. We don’t have sex and it’s not a big deal though it’s not my preference. We don’t do kinky stuff anymore either though and that is a big deal for me. I’d be happy if we just did more kinky stuff even if we rarely if ever had sex.

 

So simple question but complex answer.

[everywhere and nowhere]

16 minutes ago, gray-a girl said:

However it’s nice In the way that I like masterbation.

I personally hate this word, I prefer "self-pleasuring", "autoeroticism", "self-gratification" and similar. I know that it's neutral, but for me it sounds brutal. But anyway: it's spelled "masturbation".

[Guest Disa]

Well, yeah, I also kinda difficult to understand that I  feeling. I  am gray-a or demi, I think.

I  did felt something not so long ago. What happened was , I  was driving my 50cc dualsport,  stop at a store for motorcycle parts, I  did my shopping,  went to my bike. Right next to me with his bike was a kinda estetical good looking guy, I  noticed he was there. But nothing I went riding,  got to a area very near that I never drive around, just driving around, and then that guy was there too , doing the same. What happened is that we kinda driving around and when I  drive out he has stopped and taken of he's helmet. I  wave at him and he wave back, I did not stop but at this moment I feel happy and I am smiling and feel a tingle in my stomach. It  was left for like a minute or two, I it kinda made me glad and happy rest of my journey home. It did not pass a single sexual through my mind, but it was some kind of attraction or similar.

I  got a bit difficult to define what a sexual thought actually is because it kinda blur to me.

So I  can feel something very rarely, but I do not know what it is. I  do not know if that made any sence to this topic.