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Is asexual romantic attraction ever immediate?


crazy ace

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I usually only experience romantic attraction with people I know well. Does this make me demi romantic, or is this the norm?

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NickyTannock

I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'Romantic and Aromantic Orientations'.
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

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NickyTannock

@crazy ace A belated welcome to AVEN!

 

I don't know, but it sounds Demiromantic to me.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a 'The Crazy Baker' Cake,

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Alejandrogynous

For some in can be immediate, for others it takes longer. I wouldn't say either is the norm.

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I can’t speak for anyone else but I can share my own experience:

 

I only experience with romantic attraction with people I’m close to (but I’m not demi or anything). This may be influenced by my social anxiety so I only really feel comfortable with friends.

 

As I don’t really experience aesthetic attraction either, I don’t have the initial “ooh, they’re hot” so romantic attraction for me is based solely on personality which takes a while to get to know.

 

I don’t know if there is “a norm” when it comes to these things but I know lots of people don’t experience romantic attraction straight away- these things can depend on a whole host of factors. So I can’t tell you if you are demi or not-  but good luck anyway, and I hope you figure it out. 

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Purple Wanderer

Love at first sight...   Not something I believe in, but sometimes you meet someone and everything just clicks, instant rapport, same humour etc

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My romantic attraction was immediate; it took several weeks for that initial attraction to bloom into infatuation and then love.

 

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Ringmaster04

It can be for me. Of course it really depends on the circumstances. If there are particular things you find attractive and the subject doesn't display them initially, you won't be attracted to them; however, if they display it right away, you might be. It would be less likely if you don't experience aesthetic attraction as much because you normally get a good look at a person before getting to talk to them. I run into that problem occasionally, where I see a good-looking guy and am instantly attracted to them, and then after talking to them for a few minutes realize that I'd rather be somewhere else. 

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KoiFishShoes

For me, romantic attraction is fairly immediate. It takes about the same amount of conversation as deciding if someone would be a good friend as it does for me to develop romantic attraction. It is rare for that attraction to develop over time in my case. About as rare as experiencing sexual attraction, actually.

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