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Hate from the 'sex positive' movement

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Moon6Shadow
On 7/19/2019 at 9:31 PM, Guest said:

Anyone else experience this?

I'm very newly Out on AVEN, and 'unofficially' to some family members, since I only recently discovered I was GreyAro/Ace. Also I'm not very social, I have been in fanfic fandom for years so my 'experience' is more along the line of antisexuals when there was the crackdown on sexual content on Tumblr and FanFiction. Thankfully being non social (and typically sticking to fanfic reading/writing sites rather then social sites) means I never really run into the antis outside of experiencing the actual crackdowns. So any sex positivity I've come across is generally along the lines of trying to ensure mature fanfics/content is allowed online or sex toy bloggers trying to raise awareness of 'toxic sex toys and lube' to the general public, get better sex positive health regulations and also be allowed to stay online. So of the little sex positivity I've seen it's typically something I agree with since I'm all for health, education and unrestricted access to content (preferably with ratings and warning tags) also all for anything to do with consent. The 'hate' you're talking about is... I would not classify that as sex positive even in terms of the more 'minor' things you mentioned. Outside of anything breaking the norm typically not getting a positive response the concept of antis for asexuals and aromantics was sort of a new idea for me until I first started learning more from the online community and blogs.

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theV0ID
On 9/3/2019 at 6:46 AM, neverlove said:

Using someone for sex is only caring about their utility as a sexual object, many people consent to this. I don’t believe that is good for people in the long-term, or sometimes even as a one time deal depending.

You are generalising way too much. It may not be good for you, but plenty of people can be very happy and healthy while having casual sex. So long as all parties consent their is nothing innately unhealthy or bad about it.

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neverlove
3 hours ago, theV0ID said:

You are generalising way too much. It may not be good for you, but plenty of people can be very happy and healthy while having casual sex. So long as all parties consent their is nothing innately unhealthy or bad about it.

I'm not so sure that's true.

 

However, I don't want to hijack the discussion again. I'd be happy to continue this discussion in a new thread or if you want to PM me.

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Iridium
21 hours ago, Some guy said:

Well, apparently if you're a virgin that means you're desperate and a rapist waiting to happen. These people don't seem to understand the concept of voluntary celibacy. Their entire lives revolve around getting laid, so the idea of someone not caring about sex is completely foreign to them, and they assume that everyone else is just as horny as they are.

Some people just react with fear and incomprehension when others behave very differently than they do.  It's a problem across all kinds of communities and political views.

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songchick

I feel like sex-positivity causes people to be more 1-dimensional and less interesting and faceted.

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Snao van der Cone
52 minutes ago, songchick said:

I feel like sex-positivity causes people to be more 1-dimensional and less interesting and faceted.

No, but you may know some one-dimensional people who say they're sex-positive yet show no interest in exploring ideas with an open mind.

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Chef Remy

I get that there is or was a double strand for male and females. How males were supposed to have sex and were congratulationed on the amount of females they slept with. Or who they had sex with. While females it was looked down if they had sex with a number of males. Or they were labeled a “slut”.

Think that has changed or is changing. Were females are not looked down if the sleep with a number of guys. Or experiment.

For me personal sex is something I do not understand.

But I am not going to judge someone else for their personal decision or choices. Or doing what they like and enjoy….My only thing would be think about it and have some personal responsibility it takes two people to have sex. And they can be consequences to that action; both physically, emotionally, and some ones reputation.

Some people treat sex casually and freely. Like enjoying a glass of wine or nice meal, or exercise. Others it has meaning and shows that both people care about each other and have strong bound together.

There was an article I read about female empowerment and sex. And it said something like if the female enjoys it and she is doing because she wants to. And male is looking up to her and she is in control that it is empowerment. But if the male or other party is just “using” or not being respectful and in control and doing what he wants to without regard to her then it is not empowerment.

 

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Nylocke

Some people don't like to accept those who are different. I don't talk about being asexual much either because I know I would get rape threats and things like that especially if I said that's why I wasn't interested in someone.

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Yuliyasa

I tried to read all the different opinions on this post before posting my own, but not quiet sure if I was able to get to the bottom of it ( cause I really got to get offline at this moment soon). However, I must say that from my own personal experience I am sad to say that most people even though its the 21st century seem to think that you can either be straight or gay and that saddens me and makes me realize that even though I used to try to think positively and think we have come so far as a human race to not so much. But hopefully that will change soon enough and so I am grateful for this wonderful online community I discovered a few years back and  I think because Aven exists soon enough Asexuality will be more recognized as an orientation. There's power in numbers or so they say. 

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Ravenshade
On 8/30/2019 at 7:40 AM, DarkStormyKnight said:

I've never personally experienced any, but a lot of sex-positive rhetoric makes me feel broken and icky, like I should be out there fucking everything I can just because.

Idk I think the sex positive movement needs asexuals and ace voices so it's important to engage when you can.

I agree. It seems like sex is an agenda that's been over pushed by society itself. I hate that people act like it's as necessary to have sex as it is to eat, drink, and sleep. It's irritating ad gets on my nerves, especially with the rise of abortion and teen pregnancy. It puts a lot of pressure on people who really don't want it. 

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Nowhere Girl
14 hours ago, Chef Remy said:

I get that there is or was a double strand for male and females. How males were supposed to have sex and were congratulationed on the amount of females they slept with. Or who they had sex with.

I have just seen an example of it. I've read an article about an often overlooked form of sexual abuse, in which middle-aged women are the perpetrators and teenage boys the victims. The psychologist said that these boys often have problems with building relationships in adult life, that even if they don't feel abused, don't feel that something wrong was done to them, it doesn't make it right. And something I 100% agree with: that an underage person may actually desire sex, may believe that they want to have it - and yet not be ready for it because they don't understand the consequences. In such a siuation consent becomes void because the person in question doesn't truly realise what they are consenting to. ...She also said that because of such factors, even if a minor, according to their current judgement of the situation, considers themself to desire sex, the adult is obligated to refuse.

And what did guys respond? They accused the psychologist of being a Catholic bigot, they wrote that every teenage boy was dreaming of such a situation, "but alas, nobody wanted to harass me"...

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acematt
On 9/17/2019 at 9:49 AM, Some guy said:

There's a lot of virgin shaming in the sex-positive movement definitely. I've seen a lot of self-proclaimed champions of social justice basically call any man who doesn't have sex on a regular basis a creepy loser. Apparently this sort of behavior is discouraged in the feminist community, but that doesn't stop a lot of sex-positive feminists from doing it.

Oversexed people who criticize asexuals are the creepy losers. They can go to the devil. 

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acematt
On 9/22/2019 at 5:53 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

I have just seen an example of it. I've read an article about an often overlooked form of sexual abuse, in which middle-aged women are the perpetrators and teenage boys the victims. The psychologist said that these boys often have problems with building relationships in adult life, that even if they don't feel abused, don't feel that something wrong was done to them, it doesn't make it right. And something I 100% agree with: that an underage person may actually desire sex, may believe that they want to have it - and yet not be ready for it because they don't understand the consequences. In such a siuation consent becomes void because the person in question doesn't truly realise what they are consenting to. ...She also said that because of such factors, even if a minor, according to their current judgement of the situation, considers themself to desire sex, the adult is obligated to refuse.

And what did guys respond? They accused the psychologist of being a Catholic bigot, they wrote that every teenage boy was dreaming of such a situation, "but alas, nobody wanted to harass me"...

It doesn't matter whether the victims are male or female. Sexual abuse is sexual abuse. Pure and simple. No difference at all. Women abusers are every bit as bad as male abusers. Yeah that is society for you with their stupid stereotypes. Screw society. 

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acematt
On 9/17/2019 at 11:29 AM, Some guy said:

Well, apparently if you're a virgin that means you're desperate and a rapist waiting to happen. These people don't seem to understand the concept of voluntary celibacy. Their entire lives revolve around getting laid, so the idea of someone not caring about sex is completely foreign to them, and they assume that everyone else is just as horny as they are.

People like that are just selfish, ignorant, and narrow-minded. Just ignore them completely. They're not worth a moment of your time. 

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